Malapropisms

[CaptainJinksOftheHorseMarines]

A number of us used to meet regularly every 6 weeks, and each time had to introduce ourselves by giving our name and title since there were sometimes new people at the meetings; and also to document who was in attendance in the minutes. There was a woman there who used to introduce herself every time as the “material” grandmother instead of maternal grandmother. Most of us at the meeting found her mistake amusing, but not in a mean way. I sometimes think back and wonder if I should have told her (privately) that she had it wrong. AIBU to have not said something at the time? Would it have been rude to? In a similar vein, when I was in elementary school, I used to believe the line in the Canadian national anthem, “Oh Canada! We stand on guard for thee” was actually, “Oh Canada! We stand on GOD for thee.” Six-year-old me couldn’t figure out why anybody would stand on God. What a dumb thing to do. It wasn’t until the words were put on an overhead projector during assembly a couple of years later that I realised that the correct word was actually “guard.” I still cringe when I think about it.

🙄

When we went to the shops we would often leave the car in a nearby Stulty Morey Par Cark.

Often seen on here: body "dismorphia". I have to sit on my hands.

To "segway" into something. Agh!

"I'll revert to you later". Impossible, as you've never been me!

That's a spoonerism.

Dismorphia and Segway are just spelling mistakes surely?

Autopsy🤣🤣🤣 That is an absolute corker!

Years ago I was waiting at the dentist's, and to pass the time I read a copy of Reader's Digest. It had an article about the Rev Spooner and gave examples of his mix-ups. Obviously dentists' waiting rooms are not jolly places usually. But I was chuckling by the time I read "three cheers for the queer old dean" and lost it utterly at what he said to young men going off to WW1: "when you return, we shall have the hags flung out".

Well segway is, but dismorphia is not a word that exists. Dysphoria is.

Going to come back for a more leisurely read of FT later as I love word play.

We had a family anecdote about a female family member in the 60s who was delighted by her stimulated fur coat.

My dear departed Nana used to refer to "pathetic license" when discussing films and books, bit we suspect she knew what she was doing with that one.

When my reading skills got a bit more sophisticated at around 6 or 7 I misread a sign in a shop saying "shoplifters will be prosecuted" as "executed" which shocked me - I think it co-incided with history lessons which had brought that word into my sphere. As a side note I have never intentionally shoplifted.... just in case..... 🤣

An elderly lady was telling me how pleased her friends were to win a bottle of
liver free milk at the village fair.
It took another 5 minutes of listening to friend chattering until i realised she meant Liebfraumilch.

Same old friend was worried about her neighbours opposite as he suffered from really bad breath and a dispute with another neighbour had worsened his bad breath.
Her neighbour had angina or asthma i think.

My late MIL used to call our car The Vulva. It was a Volvo 😂
I never had the heart to tell her, plus it was good fun trying to keep a straight face.

Apparently Spooner has many more spoonerisms attributed to him than he ever made.
It became quite a thing for students to invent spoonerisms.

@MonsieurSpade oh yes, there are relatively few that are bona fide.

Well segway is, but dismorphia is not a word that exists. Dysphoria is.

Well...pedantically the word Dismorphia does exist, but as it is a genus of butterflies, it's probably quite hard to legitimately confuse that and dysmorphia.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dismorphia

A Corrie fan? I seem to remember one woman being very proud of her murial over the fireplace.

When we lived in Germany more than one newcomer thought that Freibad, 'free pool' in their mind, meant you didn't have to pay when it actually meant Open Air pool.

Casting nasturtiums is how I say it, quite deliberately too, it's fun to mess with words sometimes!

I had responded before I read this, glad I'm not the only one!

Not the horse's dovers then? Hors d'oeuvres, according to my late dad who never ate one in his life!

JudgeJ · Today 10:44

Casting nasturtiums is how I say it, quite deliberately too, it's fun to mess with words sometimes!

I've used that, along with no fuchsia.

I'm not a pop music fan but was surprised to hear what I had heard in my head an Inks pronounced In Excess.

In the North West I recall they were chimbleys.
My dad used to say 'shopping prestinct' and refused to accept that he was wrong.

Maybe they were more interesting than the usual Inset days and he wasn't saying it incorrectly! We used to take bets on how much of the crossword we could get done during the opening ramble.

Certificates? Just shows how useful doing some supply in Junior Schools can be for an A level Maths teacher! I once asked them to write about My Pet and one boy wrote about his rabbit using the 'word' yrnt, when asked to read his work out to me he said he kept his rabbit in a cage made of 'wire netting', my husband who taught Infants/Juniors couldn't understand why I hadn't found it obvious.