Malapropisms

[CaptainJinksOftheHorseMarines]

A number of us used to meet regularly every 6 weeks, and each time had to introduce ourselves by giving our name and title since there were sometimes new people at the meetings; and also to document who was in attendance in the minutes. There was a woman there who used to introduce herself every time as the “material” grandmother instead of maternal grandmother. Most of us at the meeting found her mistake amusing, but not in a mean way. I sometimes think back and wonder if I should have told her (privately) that she had it wrong. AIBU to have not said something at the time? Would it have been rude to? In a similar vein, when I was in elementary school, I used to believe the line in the Canadian national anthem, “Oh Canada! We stand on guard for thee” was actually, “Oh Canada! We stand on GOD for thee.” Six-year-old me couldn’t figure out why anybody would stand on God. What a dumb thing to do. It wasn’t until the words were put on an overhead projector during assembly a couple of years later that I realised that the correct word was actually “guard.” I still cringe when I think about it.

That was the consensus!

Yes, in reply to people asking what my 5 year old grandson meant by ‘stiffycuts’ - it’s certificates. Simple if you just say it out loud! I didn’t realise that people would be baffled by this 🤦🏼

I was the only one baffled, I think, and that's because it was early morning when I was reading it, before breakfast or coffee, and because I know nothing about kids getting certificates in schools, so there was no context to it. Saying it aloud didn't help!

Years ago my grandma told us that one of my cousins was now working in "hostility" (I assumed hospitality).

When you're in hospitality long enough, it becomes hostility! 😆

M'y mil once referred to a street blocked off by bollocks instead of bollards. She was mortified at her mistake.

😆😆

I heard someone talk about contemptible wall paper (contemporary}.

In a memorable spoonerism a bbc newsreader in thé days when they wore evening dress once referred to the then chancelle Sir Stafford Cripps as Sir Stifford Craps. Not a career enhancing moment in thé 50s.
Brian Johnson probably made a few spoonerisms in his time.

Just remembered another one, my dad is French and gets his words wrong sometimes. A few years ago he was having an issues with little flies all over his houseplants. He exclaimed that there were ‘Minges’ all over his windowsill. He meant midges 😂

My grandma in a restaurant deciding she will have some ' chocolate portfolios' for dessert (profiteroles)

There was the little episode a few years ago when the rather-aptly named James Naughtie referred to Jeremy Hunt, who was then Culture Secretary, as 'Jeremy C * the Hulture Secretary'.

Love this 😂
I don't correct people. I think it's sweet and makes me laugh/smile

True, but so was Friar Tuck.

Jeremy Hunt was also aptly named on that occasion.

My first MIL used to call profiteroles, ‘profitero-rolls’.

My sister was on holiday with her MIL, who was having a grand time flirting with the waiters. She asked one of them, ‘Are you Pilifino?’

Our family say that, because my Nan did.
That and The destruction manual.

My mother used to talk about a tripe writer and that became a word protester when computers became the norm. I did mention the malaprops to her and she said ‘no dear, it’s correct, I’m a rubbish typer’.

That reminded me of walking past a shop with a workmate and him saying "Ooh, profiteroles!" What the shop was advertising was portafiles - it was a stationer, not a cafe! 😄

Erm. Am I just uncultured? Is there another way of pronouncing it?

There's an extra 'ro' in ‘profitero-rolls’ making it 5 syllables when it should be 4.

That'll teach me to post here after this much wine 🙄

My friend's mum once told me she had to go to hospital for an autopsy (biopsy).

Same lady also told me this long story about an octopus which had very long testicles.

The testicles gaffe happened on Blue Peter too. One of the presenters was making jellyfish ice lollies with a guest star.

We had great fun watching that one live.

I think I’d be more concerned about people who don’t know the basics of spelling or grammar