Adult children claiming bedrooms

[Gladya72]

I have a 25yo daughter moved out 2 years ago. 30yo son had to move back due to divorce. Not working at present but in process of starting new job wfh. Told 25yo we would like to move brother into larger room to accommodate for this and she has gone mental. Explained wouldn't throw anything of hers away but as she only comes home couple times a month and he will be paying rent and due to his circumstances he should get the larger room. She has now said she won't give it up. We are putting him before her and being we are unreasonable and if we give him the room she won't come back! I'm aghast. Surely I'm not being unreasonable in the circumstances? We try to give them as much help as possible we're currently paying off her car for her and she says we're favouring him..

Yeah be firm with her here OP. However I would also say to 30 year old that he can stay for X amount of time then needs to be moving out.

Yanbu. Your son gets the room as he is living there paying rent whilst your entitled daughter not living there and not paying rent gets what ever room is available when she pops back. Anything else is strange

No. I left my parents at 21, in another country,
and believe me, you couldn't make up my dear husband, who is three decades older and quite frankly, loaded.
HTH
😁

It sounds like there might be a background of you favouring him over her op for her to react this way?

I think I might have waited until she was back at home and let them sort it out between themselves.

I've never understood independent adults keeping 'their' room in their parents' home. Once you move out and have a place of your own, it's no longer your room! If the parents have no other use for it, they may choose to leave it untouched, but I'd expect it to be converted into a guest room, study, hobby room, storage, etc.

She moved out 2 years ago, it's no longer her bedroom! She's behaving like an entitled brat! Ignore her. Bag up all of her stuff and drop off at her place. Of course your son should be in the large spare bedroom, he is paying rent!

Gold-digger. That makes sense. Enjoy your grubby inheritance.

What a drama queen! Dear me. She has moved out! Is she this dramatic and self involved about other things?

4% have voted YABU OP!

how and why?!?!

25 year olds still living at home with parents and feel they have a life long right to their childhood bedroom?

Ooh it gets even more fictional dramatic with every post.

Is he royalty by any chance?

Do you live in a big castle in a place that no one has heard of?

BTW I moved out at the age of 16 to live alone - some people would think living at home with your parents until 21 is a bit sad but not me personally 😊

Wow, just wow.
Have you sent an email to anyone who supports people leaving abusive relationships?
I'm sure they could start a new campaign about just being clever enough to not be in that situation.

Your posts are vile.

She (allegedly) married a man 30 years older than her who is loaded and doesn't work. So she has no sense of reality. Or compassion. Or general kindness.

No royalty here 😂
And living with my parents was my choice, they were by no means destitute and I was studying.

Don't be such a dick.

OMG @Gladya72 your DD sounds like a nightmare. I know a woman who has a daughter like this... 34 y.o. now and has left home and been back four times. One bad relationship after another, finished 3 jobs voluntarily because she CBA, and has been currently sponging off her parents for the past year. No job, and no attempt to get one. Her parents enable her by letting her do it.

They have another daughter too who is 4 years younger, has 2 kids by 2 different men, and moved back in, in October 2022 (with both kids,) after the second relationship broke down (She moved back in after the first one broke down too.) Doesn't help that she knew the fuckers for about 8 weeks before getting pregnant by them! Barely knew them, before deciding to have a baby with them!

My 2 DD left home for uni at 18 and never came back, (both in their late 20s now, and live 15-18 miles away.) Both lived with mates for a year or so, and then moved in with their partners at around 24-25. Both own their own home now with said partners. I left home at 24 and moved in with DH. Over 30 years later I am still with him. NEVER went back home.

I know life throws some curveballs - but the OP's DD, and the DC of the women I know, just take the fucking piss. I would have lost my shit if my DD had behaved like this. Thing is, I do know quite a number of people whose adult DC keep coming back, can't keep a relationship going for more than 6 months, and can't stay in a job for more than 4-5 months. They keep moving back, and are still boomeranging to and from their parents homes in their mid to late THIRTIES. Several of them are in their FORTIES.

Some people just never grow up. As I said, some of the parents have to take some of the blame, for enabling them!

You obviously live in a fantasy world and no one believes a word you say.

You must be very lonely and miserable to have to come onto a thread and be nasty and rude to someone you don’t even know and create an entire fictional life for yourself.

I would feel sorry for you if you weren’t such a nasty person.

She sounds like an immature spoilt brat.
Grow a backbone and move her stuff out of the room. You don’t need her consent. She doesn’t live there anymore.
She must be used to walking over you

Do you have him locked in the basement?

yanbu

but.. insecure housing for people in their 20s means it’s common to view parent’s house as a form of security and their real home.

Even if it's true and she's married to a loaded old man, it's clearly not very fulfilling if she needs to be on here being vile to people who want to support their children.

I wonder what she'd have done if her "husband" was too clever to marry someone clearly after his money? Maybe she'd still have been at home at 25 too. There but for the grace of God and all that.

This made me laugh more than it should

I AM NOT MAKING ANYTHING UP!
My life isn't a fairytale, but why is it so hard to believe? 🍿

Because if you were as happy, clever and secure as you say, you wouldn't feel the need to be nasty to people online.

I completely agree.

Either way she’s a very silly woman to come on here judging someone for being homeless after a relationship breakdown or losing their job, and then proudly admit that she doesn’t work herself and the money she has is all what her husband earns.