What is wrong with some women!

[Alltheshoes74]

Went out for a few cocktails with my husband Saturday evening, we were sat at the bar having a lovely time. I went to the loo and got chatting to some girls in there. Later in the evening they passed us and said hi and stopped for a chat. One was local and one was not - the local girl was mid 30's, single mum. We are older - she could be my husbands daughter! I didn't notice anything odd then as we left it turns out she asked my husband for his number!! What on earth! I mean his ego is now bursting out but we were amazed at the absolute brazenness of it all. Am still horrified that someone would do that - even when i was young and single I'd never dream of doing that.

I hope that DH misunderstood or the woman didn’t realise you two were in a relationship with each other.

I know some women would ask for a married man’s number but I’ve never heard of someone asking when they’re sat next to the wife!!

Did DH not immediately get up and leave once she said it?
Or did he carry on sitting there chatting to her like normal?

I'm shocked people are finding it so hard to believe.

Some people just don't care. They go after what they want. It must produce results on occasion or they wouldn't being doing it.

Redundant statement [explanation mark]

It would have made more sense factually

Probably the reason some posters have had difficulty getting their head around OP's initial comments was that she was seemingly oblivious to what was happening right next to her - she has gone on to fill in some of the blanks.

I def believe this .. some people, not just women, have no standards and will try to take what they want.

I believe you/him. I'm of average looks but have twice dated good looking men. With both, women have blatantly made moves on them in front of me. They'd clearly looked at me and decided they had a shot. I'm not able to laugh it off. It damaged my self esteem and all that kept running through my head was that if they were willing to do that in front of me, what would happen when I wasn't there! It made me paranoid and insecure.

Now people will probably say that's "my" issue. To a degree yes it is. But it's these women that made me feel that way. I did trust the boyfriends, to a degree. They never did anything to encourage it when I was there. But they were just boyfriends, we weren't married or in significantly long relationships where trust has been built up.

I don't have good looking men beating down my door, especially nowadays. So not so much of an issue but it did put me off dating someone who was "too" good looking afterwards. I don't need that kind of stress in a relationship.

Sorry, but I do think it's despicable behaviour. Whether it's a woman or a man. If someone clearly has a partner then people should respect that. Because it's the right thing to do.

It was the absolute brazenness of her thinking she could do it that horrified me

Some women will stoop very low.

Not impossible at all.

In my experience, it's actually quite likely.

Back in the day I have had women flirt with OH right in front of me (yes he's a looker too - in fact I think he is gorgeous😉). Drink is such sa disinhibitor. I wasn't outraged, I found it funny. I would sit back and let her get on with it usually with a big grin on my face. I knew I had nothing to worry about. OH, once he had cottoned on (he can be a bit slow in that department), would look pretty awkward and there was a lot of eyebrow signalling going on until he'd say "right Mothership let's go and dance or whatever!". Chances of a 30 yo women doing that to him now are slim though! 😆

I understand your frustration. This used to happen to me when I was with my ex husband. I don't think he got as much attention when he was single as he did when he married me. It was something to do with him being a bit younger than me and, in some people's eyes, better looking than me. It was as though many women, especially younger women, were outraged and thought well, if he's with her I (being younger/better looking) must stand a chance. Unfortunately, my ex wasn't like yours and took up several offers. They did me a favour, though. He turned out to be horrendous - the cheating was the tip of the iceberg.

That's really awful but totally believe it, some women (and men) have no moral compass whatsoever. I've heard friends who this has happened to.

I guess there are plenty of women out there who accept and go into relationships with (knowingly) married men. Obviously shit by the husbands but equally shabby by the women imo.

Doubly upsetting as you'd built up a rapport with them, so even worse. Sorry you had to go through this, OP.

Yes some people of both sexes will try it on. It seems to me though that the majority wouldn't dream of acting so underhand though IME.

Exactly this. I've also had multiple men try it on with me, I've turned them down, then they go around telling everyone I was obsessed with them/harassing them because they're so annoyed.

OP may be telling the truth, but a young women hitting on a man old enough to be her father IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE is a bit bizarre and unlikely tbh, even if he looks like George Clooney.

I don't understand why you don't believe this. A lot of affairs start because younger women make it absolutely clear to older men that they're up for it. Have you really never come across this in your life? Really? I've witnessed this many many times. And if you read my post above have actually experienced it. Unlike OP's post I had the experience of young women flirting with my exh right in front of me as though I wasn't there. Awful.

I think, there are young women who prefer much older men. Not many, but about 1 in 10.
They have a terrible selection. Most middle aged men are married. Of the single ones, many will have been ill or poor and have ended up divorced. Others are likely to be out of shape, or a bit odd. Once you are down to single, successful, charming middle aged men, the selection is very poor.
I (man) was single for a while as a middle aged man. That teenage women are early twenties women would often be very forward with me, was bizarre. I am nothing special at all, the sort of man that would be on the "I suppose he might do - back up list" for women my own age.

Did you actually HEAR this woman ask your husband out/ask him for his number @Alltheshoes74 ???

OR is it second hand information from him?

@MsCactus · Today 16:32

Exactly this. I've also had multiple men try it on with me, I've turned them down, then they go around telling everyone I was obsessed with them/harassing them because they're so annoyed.

OP may be telling the truth, but a young women hitting on a man old enough to be her father IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE is a bit bizarre and unlikely tbh, even if he looks like George Clooney.

This. ^ In spades. Young women generally don't go hitting on men old enough to be their father 🙄 If they do, it's probably for a dare, or a bet, or because they're desperate. Methinks the OP's husband made this up. To try to make her jealous and insecure.

That's awful OP! do you know her if she is local?

What she is, is a complete stranger.

She's spent what? - 5 minutes? - in the company of OP and her DH, and should be taking up preciesly that amount of time in their headspace.

She's completely inconsequential in their lives. Unless they make her so.

WTF?!!! Who the hell does that?! I don't understand a lot of these responses at all. Who the hell tries to hit on a man who's clearly with his wife?! That's really low.

No, never seen her before - we rarely go out where we live

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🤣🤣🤣
Definitely

I mainly don't believe this because Ive had some horrible experiences of married men pursuing me. Then when the wife finds out, they've told her they have no interest and I won't stop pursuing them.

Genuinely before I met men like this I probably would've thought the same as you. Now I find it hard to believe.

All the wives believed their husbands btw. Despite the fact that I'd even had to go to HR about one of them who I worked with, to try and get him to stop.

YANBU.
I am very happily child free, married and as I got older, realised I probably wouldn't be able to trust any man to have a child with.
Maybe my husband, but that ship has sailed.
😊
Reality.

I had it too, a girl came over to my then fiance at friend’s birthday party, stroked his forearm and asked if he was a rugby player, and would he be interested in a threesome with her and her husband. I know because I was standing by the bar watching them.
On another occasion a different girl told my husband that ‘she would’ if he were single, I was standing behind them chatting to a friend.

@BustyLee Just to add to this - I have had women drape their arms across my own DH/hit on him. But they've been the same age as him. When there's a huge age difference IMO it's usually older men pursuing young women. The stats on harassment etc bear this out - very, very rare an attractive young women is hitting on an old man her father's age who has seen better days