to dump my bf immediately because he was violent with his dog?

[CrayRumors]

NCed for privacy but I am a semi-regular.

My boyfriend of 6 months has a wonderful, well-trained, sweet dog. He has always been quite firm in terms of discipline while I am more of a cuddler with dogs. He is one of those people who think that dogs shouldn't jump on sofas, shouldn't be allowed in the bedroom, should always follow commands, etc etc. Fair enough. I sometimes questioned if his way of disciplining the dog was a bit excessive, but until yesterday I didn't see anything alarming.

Yesterday night we were on the sofa at his place, and the dog tried to jump on the sofa to come cuddle next to me. My boyfriend shouted "NO" and threw the dog off the sofa and across the living room. The dog landed on her side and looked terrified.

I was shocked and horrified. I immediately got up and left after telling him that using violence against an animal is unacceptable and that he had crossed a line. He apologized and said that until he saw my reaction he didn't realize that his training methods were too harsh, that he saw the error in his ways, and that he was ashamed of himself. This means that he had used violence regularly until then to train the poor dog 😭

I knew he had sometimes poor emotional regulation, although so far I hadn't seen anything remotely close to yesterday night's outburst. He suffers from depression and is seeking help, but he clearly has a long way to go. I am questioning if I should report him to the animal welfare authorities.

AIBU to dump him immediately after seeing this violence against his poor poor dog? I don't think I can ever look at him again in the same way.

Have you always been obtuse, or did it take training to acquire?

This is horrible & heartbreaking. I would dump him, tell him exactly why & do everything in my power to get this poor dog taken off him. What a monster. Poor dog must’ve been petrified & it won’t be the first time.

I agree.

On one hand I would be so angry I would name and shame him on social media but that could cause him to beat the dog but I also wouldn't be able to be nice to him in any shape or form when ending the relationship.

I've never had to discipline a dog in my life. Training is done through rewarding good behaviour.

🤣 👏🏻

Oh bless you @DriftingDora . How kind of you to ask. What a sweetie.
Such kindness and concern is touching

Here endeth the first lesson - which was total bullshit but very biblical, which kind of makes up for it 😏.

Just because he over-reacted to the intrusion from the dog doesn't mean he would do the same to a human

Really? Doesn't mean he wouldn't do it either, does it? It's been reported many times by the police that those who abuse animals often go on to be convicted of abusing adults and/or children, so you're rather ill-informed there. But I'm sure you'd be happy to take the risk, wouldn't you?

You might support the view that animals are lesser than humans, but when I read comments like yours I can see why so many people (including myself) disagree.

Leave him. Run, don't walk, and tell him why.

Don't do it in person.

I'd just like to say you can cuddle a dog on the sofa and let it on your bed and still train them and have well behaved dogs. Dogs need love, respect and consistent rules. There's no excusing violence against a dog. He wasn't disciplining him - he knew what he was doing.

I take it your answer is "Yes" then!

I've now had confirmation - so thanks! 😁

I have just given my lab an extra big cuddle. There are ways of training and handling big, energetic dogs without shoving, hitting or yelling at them. There is no excuse for his vile behaviour. Poor poor dog. Dump him now. Imagine what he could do to a small child if you ever had one with him.

Violence to animals is a major concern.

Dump him and take custody of the dog. Hope you and the pup are ok. Thats so upsetting for both of you ❤️

The dog doesn't belong to her.

I would report him, fuck all will come of it but I still would.
I’d also tell absolutely everyone I know that he abuses his dog and that’s why we split up.
I’d have absolutely nothing to do with him
ever again.

I would be dumping his ass. I fucking love dogs, and you do not train them with any form of violence.
You train them with patience, love, and positive reinforcement.
I feel so sad for his poor dog who just wanted to cuddle up with you, and he flipped.

There's nothing wrong with training your dog but what this man did to his dog is not discipline, it's violence. Not acceptable.

I could never be with someone that showed such aggression to an innocent animal- the poor dog having an owner like that!

Oh dear god, how many times? Of course what he did was unacceptable
I obviously not suggesting violence to children or dogs as a form of disciplne - the op said she wasn't able to train/discipline dog because she onlly likes giving it cuddles. I said disciplne was needed for dogs in order to train them; rather like kids, they need boundaries and to know what beehaviours are accetable.
At no point did i suggest i agreed with the OPs boyfriend throwing the dog across the room.

Please report this to the RSPCA it is up to them whether they act on it. If you do nothing you may aswell have thrown thr dog across the floor yourself. He needs to be on their radar

We have a sprocker spaniel, he's 9 this year and still as bonkers as he was when we got him as a puppy.

My DH and I definitely have different approaches with him BUT the moment he threw him across the floor, he'd be gone. Or I would be with my dog in tow.

We worked really hard and still do together on training, especially since we have a 1 year old now. He knows he isn't allowed to leave his bed whilst we are eating, he knows heel, sit, come, stay etc he knows never to take food from the baby and if she hands him one of her toys, he won't grab, he waits for her to drop it before he picks it up which makes her burst into hysterics. He is the sweetest cuddliest boy. I am the relaxed one, I'll have him up with me on the sofa but DH will fuss him from the floor he doesn't like him laying all over him. We both agree he's not allowed on the bed but he sometimes sleeps at the bottom of our bed or by our daughter's cot in her room.

Please leave and report, in an ideal world, I really hope the dog gets rehomed to a loving family 😢

Ffs leave him and take the dog with you, report him to the police and rspca. The idiot is a cunt.

Throwing a dog is repulsive. He did it hard and unexpectedly enough that she went from furniture to floor and didn’t get to land on her feet. Cruel bastard. That would be it for me. And I’d be calling the RSPCA too. Poor dog.

Sorry I accidently voted YABU (not sure if I can change it?) but you are definitely NBU. Huge red flag for me, if he has acted like that around you then I dread to think when it is just him and the dog. I would report ASAP.

Your STBX is a nasty bastard
Poor dog must have been terrified and confused
I hate to say but I'm sure it's not the first time he's done it

No. But it deserves a loving home.