to dump my bf immediately because he was violent with his dog?

[CrayRumors]

NCed for privacy but I am a semi-regular.

My boyfriend of 6 months has a wonderful, well-trained, sweet dog. He has always been quite firm in terms of discipline while I am more of a cuddler with dogs. He is one of those people who think that dogs shouldn't jump on sofas, shouldn't be allowed in the bedroom, should always follow commands, etc etc. Fair enough. I sometimes questioned if his way of disciplining the dog was a bit excessive, but until yesterday I didn't see anything alarming.

Yesterday night we were on the sofa at his place, and the dog tried to jump on the sofa to come cuddle next to me. My boyfriend shouted "NO" and threw the dog off the sofa and across the living room. The dog landed on her side and looked terrified.

I was shocked and horrified. I immediately got up and left after telling him that using violence against an animal is unacceptable and that he had crossed a line. He apologized and said that until he saw my reaction he didn't realize that his training methods were too harsh, that he saw the error in his ways, and that he was ashamed of himself. This means that he had used violence regularly until then to train the poor dog 😭

I knew he had sometimes poor emotional regulation, although so far I hadn't seen anything remotely close to yesterday night's outburst. He suffers from depression and is seeking help, but he clearly has a long way to go. I am questioning if I should report him to the animal welfare authorities.

AIBU to dump him immediately after seeing this violence against his poor poor dog? I don't think I can ever look at him again in the same way.

Absolutely get out of there. If he thinks it’s appropriate to physically throw a dog across a room when it doesn’t behave as he would like, I’d dread to think would could happen if you 2 ever had a disagreement. I also would never even consider having children with someone who was prone to violence as a method of “discipline”. It sounds as though your soon to be ex has anger and control issues. I wonder how he was parented.. Poor dog.

Yes, I agree. He's a horrible bastard, dump him and block his number.

YANBU at all.
I'd say inform the RSPCA, but from prior experience they won't do anything at all. They'll potentially go (not always) see the dog is a good weight and healthy and that will be it.

My boyfriend shouted "NO" and threw the dog off the sofa and across the living room. The dog landed on her side and looked terrified

That's appalling animal abuse. Properly cruel. That isn't 'discipline'.

I could never in a million years have any kind of relationship with a man like that. It's sickening.

Depression is not an excuse for violence, I am depressed, never launched my cat anywhere though. Had only read the title before I vote yanbu.

Dump him. I don’t trust people who are vile to animals.

I’ve never let dogs upstairs or on the sofas and I expect them to follow commands. But I train them properly. Not by throwing them half way across a room, being violent ot aggressive towards them.

The RSPCA wont do anything, so that's a pointless exercise.
But absolutely leave him. Can you imagine having children with this man?

I would see this as a huge red flag, move on.

Awful behaviour. What breed of dog is it, OP? I also agree with PPs who mentioned that sort of abuse can also lead to abuse of a partner in a relationship. I think you will be well rid of him OP.

Meggriffinshatsmells · Today 09:43
Dump him. I don’t trust people who are vile to animals.

I’ve never let dogs upstairs or on the sofas and I expect them to follow commands. But I train them properly. Not by throwing them half way across a room, being violent ot aggressive towards them.

This ^

I can hand on heart say, with all the dogs I've trained over the years (and its lots) I've never hit, pushed or thrown a dog across a room to get results. Ever. Mine don't sit on the sofa or go upstairs in the house and I've not had to reinforce this by being a total cunt.

Red flag x 100

Get rid

Carefully though, as he seems prone to violence

What breed is it?

Because this is going to end one of two ways; the dog being terrified, nervous and reactive and the dog turning aggressive and attacking.

But you should dump the cuntwafffle and alert the RSPCA.

Edit: just seen it’s a lab type.

This is going to end in tears OP. A nervous or aggressive lab is a nightmare. Bet he doesn’t exercise the poor thing either. Sigh.

I don't want to get super specific to avoid being outed but the dog is a Labrador type of breed and a female.

Dump him immediately.
My dog is very well behaved, he knows he isnt allowed on the sofa or upstairs but I have never had to hurt him to train him

Agreed - if you have recorded evidence or another witness, also report to cops and get crime ref

@CrayRumors please report him to RSPCA no animal deserves to live like that

Go and get the dog off of him and look after it properly give it cuddles. Dump him for sure. This is so awful

Is this a serious question?

Yeah, stay with the guy who abuses animals, he sounds like a catch.

your last sentence - yes, OP, be careful but dump him and report to cops and RSPCA

I am questioning if I should report him to the animal welfare authorities.

Don’t question it - definitely report. Abusers apologise, say it won’t happen again, only then it does, but worse. And if it’s his poor dog now, it’ll be you next, so ditch him.

I have a rescue dog who wasn't allowed on sofas and beds, as he'd shown some territorial reactivity in his previous home and bit a lady who startled him whilst he was sleeping on a sofa. We never used force or physical contact to train him not to do this, we just told him 'no, get down' firmly the first few times he tried to get up. Then lots of praise for going to lay in his own bed. Always made sure he had a nice comfy bed and he has his own little sofa in the sunroom he can lay on if he prefers.

He's an old man now and has been with us long enough that we're confident he wouldn't lash out when startled, so he is allowed on our sofa if he wants, but most of the time he isn't fussed.