to dump my bf immediately because he was violent with his dog?

[CrayRumors]

NCed for privacy but I am a semi-regular.

My boyfriend of 6 months has a wonderful, well-trained, sweet dog. He has always been quite firm in terms of discipline while I am more of a cuddler with dogs. He is one of those people who think that dogs shouldn't jump on sofas, shouldn't be allowed in the bedroom, should always follow commands, etc etc. Fair enough. I sometimes questioned if his way of disciplining the dog was a bit excessive, but until yesterday I didn't see anything alarming.

Yesterday night we were on the sofa at his place, and the dog tried to jump on the sofa to come cuddle next to me. My boyfriend shouted "NO" and threw the dog off the sofa and across the living room. The dog landed on her side and looked terrified.

I was shocked and horrified. I immediately got up and left after telling him that using violence against an animal is unacceptable and that he had crossed a line. He apologized and said that until he saw my reaction he didn't realize that his training methods were too harsh, that he saw the error in his ways, and that he was ashamed of himself. This means that he had used violence regularly until then to train the poor dog 😭

I knew he had sometimes poor emotional regulation, although so far I hadn't seen anything remotely close to yesterday night's outburst. He suffers from depression and is seeking help, but he clearly has a long way to go. I am questioning if I should report him to the animal welfare authorities.

AIBU to dump him immediately after seeing this violence against his poor poor dog? I don't think I can ever look at him again in the same way.

I can't imagine why anyone would thank you for telling a woman who doesn't own a dog (and by her own admission has no desire to own a dog) that she needs to "adjust her attitude to dog care". Especially when she's flagged up an act of pretty unpleasant cruelty. I don't see how anyone could read anything deeper into your post. I can only think that those who hit the thanks button didn't properly read the original post or they have a very, very strange sense of priorities.

He has shown you who he is, dump him and run. That poor dog, that isn't discipline that's cruelty.

It was quite clear what you meant in your post, don’t worry. Some people just like to jump on comments and pull them apart.

As several other posters have said, the RSPCA would not be interested.

They only care that an animal has food and shelter really.l

You can’t just take someone’s dog either.

Read into it what you want, dearie.
You ignorant and ill-informed opinion is of no consequence.

That's the thing, he will never let me take the dog willingly (even if I wanted to have a dog myself) and I doubt any authority would find enough evidence of animal abuse if they checked to remove the dog from him forcibly.

It’s a horrible situation.

I guess all you can do is cut ties with him and move on. Poor dog though.

Ditch him and take the dog with you!

Dump & call the RSPCA to report animal cruelty. Awful man, who does that to a defenceless animal?

Fuck that. Animal cruelty is awful.

You'll be next.

Dump and move on.

Thanks, @Italianita ! Begining to think I was going completely mad.
Will use words of one syllable in future so those who cannot comprehend reason!

Wonder how he would "train" his kids.
violence for me in any form is a big no no, it shows the type of person someone is if they react that way, especially over getting onto a sofa!!! not like the dog was being aggressive and so he just reacted.... it was literally over nothing, thats even more worrying

I don't know why everyone keeps saying to report him to the RSPCA.

They can't just walk into someone's house and take their dog based on the say-so of someone else. They need evidence (and lots of it), and then they need to go via the police to take the owners to court in order to have animals removed and re-homed.

The only exceptions are if they go and visit a home and they have proof of abandonment (animals not being visited, fed etc. for a certain amount of time) or the owners voluntarily sign over their pets.

Obviously what he did is absolutely horrendous but the RSPCA won't be able to do anything about it when OP has no evidence.

Just because he over-reacted to the intrusion from the dog doesn't mean he would do the same to a human. Show him the error of his ways and forgive him this transgression. We all need to be taught a lesson or two in this life - make this one for him and allow him to redeem himself.

Are you suggesting that I should continue my relationship with him after what happened?

I wouldn't take the risk. People who abuse animals usually move on to abuse children too. OP might be ok herself but if she wants to have children then she should not stay with this man. The OP does not owe him anything.

I couldn't spend time around anyone who has been cruel to an animal.

It's just so low.

Animals, kids, the elderly. Zero excuses.

Depression does not make you throw a dog across the room! Being a bastard does!

Some of us don't think animals are lesser than humans.

I couldn't be with anyone who was cruel to either.

What a cowardly wanker. Throwing a dog is disgusting.

I'm not judge and jury of anything. This is an open forum where people express their opinions. I am doing just that.

This wasn't a post about attachment problems due to too many cuddles. If you worked in any area of animal welfare or rescue I think you'll find that too many cuddles are the very least of everyone's worries.

Can you answer my previous question please. Have you reported him and if not, why not?

Overreaction. Being physical affects animals very differently than humans. They have no sense of ego or humiliation. And they are regularly as violent as this or worse amongst themselves.

"And they are regularly as violent as this or worse amongst themselves"

🤣🤣🤣

very good 🎣