to dump my bf immediately because he was violent with his dog?

[CrayRumors]

NCed for privacy but I am a semi-regular.

My boyfriend of 6 months has a wonderful, well-trained, sweet dog. He has always been quite firm in terms of discipline while I am more of a cuddler with dogs. He is one of those people who think that dogs shouldn't jump on sofas, shouldn't be allowed in the bedroom, should always follow commands, etc etc. Fair enough. I sometimes questioned if his way of disciplining the dog was a bit excessive, but until yesterday I didn't see anything alarming.

Yesterday night we were on the sofa at his place, and the dog tried to jump on the sofa to come cuddle next to me. My boyfriend shouted "NO" and threw the dog off the sofa and across the living room. The dog landed on her side and looked terrified.

I was shocked and horrified. I immediately got up and left after telling him that using violence against an animal is unacceptable and that he had crossed a line. He apologized and said that until he saw my reaction he didn't realize that his training methods were too harsh, that he saw the error in his ways, and that he was ashamed of himself. This means that he had used violence regularly until then to train the poor dog 😭

I knew he had sometimes poor emotional regulation, although so far I hadn't seen anything remotely close to yesterday night's outburst. He suffers from depression and is seeking help, but he clearly has a long way to go. I am questioning if I should report him to the animal welfare authorities.

AIBU to dump him immediately after seeing this violence against his poor poor dog? I don't think I can ever look at him again in the same way.

Just imagine it's your future child. Now run like hell. Before you go, tell him he'll be reported. I know nothing will happen, but maybe the fear of it will stay his hand. Poor dog.

Dump him and take his dog.

I'd do that OP - how horrible!

Throwing a dog across a room is not discipline.

6 months in I wouldn't dream of staying with him.

Poor dog.

Dump him. Call the RSPCA. Take the dog.

A man who can harm an animal is a waste of oxygen.

He didn’t actually throw it across the room, OP was exaggerating. She has stated that it is a “Labrador type” dog, so unless her boyfriend has superhuman strength it sounds like he shoved it off and it fell on its side.

You should dump him, OP, if he has a temper. But also, in the future, respect people’s boundaries with their animals in terms of rules and training.

When the police interview you about domestic violence they ask if the perpetrator has ever harmed an animal. It’s a good indicator of behaviour of the perpetrator.
Definitely dump the bloke and report to animal welfare.

Dump him. He's just shown you his true colours!

Violence/aggression is a trait that someone has the capacity of in all aspects of their life. It's easy to think "it's only a dog", but the next thing you know it will be you suffering it.

Walk away, very fast!

@CrayRumors "I knew he had sometimes poor emotional regulation, although so far I hadn't seen anything remotely close to yesterday night's outburst."

You're only 6 months in. He's been trying to be on best behaviour to win you over but has now let it slip. Get rid immediately. And ring RSPCA.

Did y even read your full post as if her too upset, if I'd of witnessed any cruelty to an animal I'd be leaving immediately (and probably with the dog).

I'd not need to post on here to question if I was right

On one hand we've got some violent cunt throwing a dog across the room and on the other hand we've got a woman (who doesn't even own a dog) who likes to cuddle them.

Out of the two scenarios you actually took the time and effort to tell the woman she needs to re-evaluate her attitude to dog care. No mention of the aforementioned violent prick, just the non dog owning woman. I mean, go figure.

I think you'll find that hurling an innocent creature across a room is not discipline by any normal or decent person's standards. It is also illegal in UK law. Jesus Christ, if anyone needs to re-evaluate their attitude it's you.

"He apologized and said that until he saw my reaction he didn't realize that his training methods were too harsh, that he saw the error in his ways"

Bullshit. He realised he had done it in front of you, saw how you reacted and had to backtrack as he'd let the mask slip.

FYI - I live in the countryside, surrounded by farms and farmers. They ALL have dogs and they are all disciplined and trained HARD (most live outdoors too), however none of them hurt or abuse their animals as a "training method". That is animal abuse, not discipline.

He's violent with a bad temper and a short fuse. A very, very scary combination.

Get the hell out of there now.

I'd like to throw him across the room or shove him and push him over onto his side, see how he likes it! The poor dog was gravitating towards you as it probably likes you better than him, it knows it'll get a cuddle off you not a shove. I hate anyone who is cruel to animals and I'd dump him immediately. I'd take the poor dog with me but if that wasn't possible, I'd report him for animal cruelty. I've had dogs and a firm "No" is all that's needed, no smacking, hitting, shoving, frightening etc and cuddles should be unlimited!

Definitely LTB OP

Don't look back, a little heart broken you have left the dog with him tbh

Oh do sod off.
I did not say a dog or a child should be thrown across a room. Interestingly, several have 'thanked' the post, so they obviously understood what I was saying.
You clearly read what you wanted to because you - well....

I did not, you have done this
Please read posts before you throw a wobbly in reply

You would have to have the lowest standards imaginable to stay with this man. Men who are violent with animals are also very commonly violent with women and children. He's reprehensible for treating his poor dog like that.

I'm aghast that 2% think you are being unreasonable!

Same here. And really the dog is a total angel of a dog. The sweetest, loveliest, most trusting girl ever. It breaks my heart to think again about the look of terror on her face as she was trying to get up from the floor. I have flashbacks.

@CrayRumors I wish more people were like you.

You can't just take someone else's dog, even if you don't approve of the way it is being treated. And the OP has made it clear she does not want a dog.

Dump the arsehole and report him.
Vile behaviour.

Don't even think twice of getting rid of him. What an animal he is!!

👏🏻This