Why are you married?

[Aquarius1234]

Why did you bother getting married?

Do you feel one or both of you are insecure hense the marriage?

Do you feel superior to those in long term relationships but not married?

Again, you’re not making sense. Wedding bands as in wedding rings, or wedding bands as in men in matching waistcoats playing ‘Rock the Boat’ in a function room? Either way, I’m not sure there’s a day’s worth of conversation.

Neither DH or I wear wedding rings BTW... so odd thing to judge on.

I got married because I was in love and wanted to be a wife. For me, it was more for romantic and emotional reasons, rather than the legal side of things.

I don't care what other people choose to do or not to in their own relationships.

No, I don't feel like I'm better than people who aren't married, and I'm not insecure either. What an odd view to have

Because OH wanted to and I love him. It seemed the right thing to do (it was). Because the Forces were just not set up co-habiting couples back then. Because we were thinking about having children. Financial security. Because we'd spent 10 years basically living as a married couple anyway. Because it made our families and especially our parents happy (minor reason but was all part of it).

Incidentally neither OH or I wear our wedding rings ever.

Neither do we.

If I am honest in past I felt sorry for several women who were in LTR with children and it always slipped out or was palpable that they would have liked to have got married but the man did not. Outwardly you’d get the it’s just a piece of paper speech, but friends and family knew what had actually gone on.

I am generally pro-marriage but not in all cases. If you stand to lose more financially by marrying, I would advise not to for either side.
I also see no need to marry later in life after having had a family. It often just causes complications for dc.

Wedding rings.

Did not want to live with anyone til I married and I didn’t live with dh until we married

in catholic but wasn’t really that although both of our parents wouldn’t really have liked it

regret it now though and think it would have been better to life together as I fell into a really old fashioned set up

Sorry the reason why - I didn’t want kids outside of marriage and didn’t want to be used by a man

Financial reasons
If anything happens to him, his pension stops unless married on last day in service (to the same wife at death!) being married gives me a spousal pension which in turn will be used to support his children. They'd get nothing otherwise.
We only found out a few weeks before he "retired" so we booked the first available slot at the registry office for £50!!
Plus he's a pretty decent guy!

Those people will always find a way to feel superior to others, it’s nothing to do with marriage.

Thanks for the laugh. I like your humour.
Your right it could be the new thing to be offended by.
Perhaps I'm curious why the young generation do it. Each to their own..
I thought it would die out.

Because we wanted to.

What about them? They're just a piece of jewellery. Some people wear them and others don't. Some people have their ears pierced and others don't! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well, yes. Marriage isn’t just romantic. It’s a legal contract with major financial implications. Not to be entered in to lightly!

Because I love my husband very deeply and it was important to both of us to be a legal family unit and make an active commitment to our relationship.

Neither of us are insecure, what a bizarre comment, the most insecure relationships I know are unfortunately when one of the couple (usually the woman) wants to get married and the other doesn’t.

I don’t “feel superior” at all but I do wonder why/feel sad for people (again unfortunately usually women) who stay with people who don’t want to marry them, when they want that. If neither party wants to get married then good for them, but my overwhelming experience is usually the woman does deep down or is making herself financially vulnerable.

I wanted the benefits of the legal contract.

Wasn't wearing wedding rings a way of showing strangers you are unavailable.
Without having to say anything.
Apart from those that have affairs of course.

I wanted to feel able to make decisions based on what was best for us as a family rather than each of us individually.

For example, when our child is born, I will take the full years maternity leave and might go back on 4 days a week if we feel that will work best for our family. If I wasn’t married I would be more insistent about us taking equal time off, making sure that I am not the one taking a bigger career hit as I would not have any legal protection if we were to break up.

Perhaps I'm curious why the young generation do it. Each to their own..
I thought it would die out

Why would it die out? Throughout history and across many different cultures there have always been ways for a couple to formalise their relationship in the eyes of their community.

Why aren't you married (assuming you have a SO), OP? Do you think you're so liberated and forward thinking, cocking a snook at The Establishment? Do you look down your nose on us dull, conformist sheep who think a piece of paper is so important to our relationship? 🤷‍♀️

Btw I don't really want to know, just throwing your questions back at you.

Well life's complicated isn't it? There are lots of reasons why we do things. I doubt marriage was invented for romantic reasons. A marriage certificate is a legal document.

However, most people I know got married primarily because they loved each other at the time.

Married because we wanted to. I don't feel superior because I couldn't care less about other people's marital status. Why would I waste a second thinking about it.

@Aquarius1234 why do strangers need to know if you are available or unavailable?
Why is it their business?
I mean if someone flirts/asks you out or whatever you'd just tell them "I'm married/in a relationship".

Also this, we’re TTC and I want to enjoy my maternity leave knowing DH has my back financially (legally, not just with words) and be able to go part time to look after our (hopefully) future family.