Son has changed his mind about class party - doesn't want to go

[VeryBusyDoingNothing]

Wwyd. Came out with an invitation weeks ago and he said he wanted to. Announced now he doesn't know the child very well and he doesn't want to go. Turns out none of his close friends are going either. Feel rude not going but feel I can't force him?

I don't understand why you think that poster had unreasonable expectations. All she expected was that people who said they would come to a party would turn up.

Is that really unreasonable? If it is, how are any social events supposed to happen?

This really comes down to parenting doesn't it. Who rules the roost? Child can get stroppy about something so gets their own way. Either you keep giving in for an easy life in this scenario or you get a backbone. Dc do at times have to understand what being kind to others really means. They might need encouraging do the right thing. Thats parenting.

Do we know if the dc went to the party?

Err, because it’s taeaching your child to be a rude, disrespectful little brat?

How does he "not know the child" well if he's been in their class at school all year

Mine would 100% be going

@Zone2NorthLondon the child wasn't forced or cajoled or anything, he accepted an invite.....

Then flaked out, like a PP said like a brat!

Imagine bringing a child up like that.

If you have rsp’d in the affirmative, barring genuine illness he should attend.

There are a lot of people on this thread who really don't understand children and expect them to have no agency and no say. They're just an accessory of the adult. It's really sad. These are the parents that cause social anxiety. Giving a child a say in their life won't make them a 'brat'. It tells them you have their back and they will feel that they can come to you and that you are a safe place for them.

The child got a say.......

He said yes!!

Those people who say they of course wouldn't make their children do anything they didn't feel like, genuinely curious as to how you approach it when your child doesn't feel like:

Going on a playdate
Going to visit grandparents
Going to something you bought them tickets for
Going to do something boring but necessary like the doctors or the supermarket
Going to school
Going to extracurriculars they agreed to and you have paid for

Basically trying to work out whether it's that some posters just don't give a shit when it affects someone else or just have your children ruling the roast?

I must confess I thought of myself as quite a soft touch as a parent - I am surprised that some clearly feel that making your child go to a social event they agreed to is like sending them to a gulag

I think you can acknowledge a child's feelings and worries without just letting them do whatever they want to.

At the time! He changed his mind. And that should be his perogative. We adults all change our minds.

Some of these bar the doctors and school aren't necessary. So no I wouldn't force them.

Exactly.

I do give my children a say when it comes to these things. I don't RSVP to any parties without checking with them first.

@SoreAndTired1 and what about the social anxiety of the child who is having a party?

You're one of those irritating flaky people who say yes, then pull the social anxiety card and cancel.

Really irritating and total bullshit.

Do not accept an invitation and then for no reason decline!

cant take your posts seriously. The bombastic tone, brat!gotcha!flaky
it’s like you’re trying too hard to be o’er provocative
words but no content

And he's not going due to some anxiety, he's just changed his mind.

We don't know that.

Calling a child a brat for simply changing his mind says far more about you than him.

I'd make him go!

So if you set up a playdate and then your child didn't fancy it, you would just cancel last minute?

I wonder how many invites you get

Your ableism is really disgusting. Some people's social anxiety is really debilitating. It's quite clear you are insensitive and have no thought for others who suffer really badly, it's bullying behaviour typical of extroverts.

I'd be forcing mine if they were 6. Either that or make an excuse and send a card with a tenner in it

How articulately you explained that.your sensitivity to children just radiates on the screen

@SoreAndTired1 the child if he doesn't go is a spoilt brat, allowed by his parents and hopefully never invited to a party again!

Nothing in OPs post indicate the infamous "social anxiety".

Yes, why would I force a child? Kids change their minds about going over to play with another all the time. It's no big deal. Then again when I was young it wasn't actually a 'playdate' we'd just go over someone's house after school or on the weekend if we felt like it.

@Zone2NorthLondon what about the sensitivity of the party child?

Not important, cause your brat has changed his mind and been enabled but his parents?