Son has changed his mind about class party - doesn't want to go

[VeryBusyDoingNothing]

Wwyd. Came out with an invitation weeks ago and he said he wanted to. Announced now he doesn't know the child very well and he doesn't want to go. Turns out none of his close friends are going either. Feel rude not going but feel I can't force him?

And there is no getting through to you that teaching a child they can never change their mind is abusive. Sadly you cannot see your way is not right either. Have a hard think about what you are saying here. The child did not carve his promise in blood! You are acting as if he did. Get real.

@SoreAndTired1 do tell me what o accused you of saying that you didn't

Yes, unfortunately this doesn't dawn on people here.

You said I accused you of being a bad parent. I did not.

@SoreAndTired1 so much carving in blood talk.....

Very weird!!

Teach your child morals.

There you go again! You are suggesting I am not teaching my child morals, just because I allow them to change their mind if they feel uncomfortable. How dare you suggest I am not teaching them morals? How dare you!

Telling your child they may never, EVER so no to anything is WHAT CAUSES social anxiety! It's parenting like that, that causes damage. You can't even see it! You're an example of what not to do.

Let me explain, I won’t be drawn by your provocative language. It’s tiresome
you know my opinion read my posts ,try not to say Brat, or Flaky in response

@SoreAndTired1

Examples above.... but you tell me I'm gaslighting 🤔

One of my dc has autism so party invites were a bit tricky when little, the parents were all aware though that he might not be able to stay long and none of the parties were pay per head

None of my best friends are going wouldn't have been an acceptable excuse to not go when they've already said yes

People not turning up is annoying , especially when you've paid for them. Mine are all older now so lucky no more kids parties.

@bloodyplumbing Let me explain, I won’t be drawn by your provocative language. It’s tiresome you know my opinion read my posts ,try not to say Brat, or Flaky in response

London said that, not me.

Just popping back in to throw my two pence in. I'm not commenting on our decision, my DS has gone to bed happy and content. School tomorrow, life goes on. Guess away if need be.

Just really saddened by the derailing of a thread. Hold my hands up I'm not a perfect parent, he's my eldest and I don't know all the "right" things to do. I came on for advice which quickly turns into some sort of attack from two sides. Yes I know I posted on aibu btw...

But really, calling children brat's? Anyone that thinks that's OK needs a head wobble beyond debating the right way to respond to a children's party invitation imo.

I'm also off to watch a bit of TV and unwind.

Thank you to those that offered useful advice. Another lesson learned, will do better next time.

From, a naive mother who should and will do better!

@SoreAndTired1 yes I believe you're not teaching your child morals, I'll own that.

You're projecting your own issues on to them, I'll own that.

You could own it and say it's a"maybe". But you seem entitled to say it's a yes and decide last minute it's not.

And that party child can just suck it up, which is unkind.

Don't, it's not nice or fair.

Does your child have anxiety?

Did he go?

My children have their own issues, I am not projecting anything.

I feel you are the one not teaching your children morals. You are teaching them that their discomfort doesn't matter. Eventually they will learn they can't come to you for support. That's the risk you run.

Have a think about it.

It becomes self serving though doesn't it. Changing your mind all the time. Dc are allowed to get exactly what they want. No wonder dc cannot settle at school. They cannot negotiate and get their own way. It's not remotely abusive to say some things aren't negotiable. It's parenting. It's teaching dc that parents have expectations and in this case, you word means something.

@bloodyplumbing my son has a mother that doesn't call children brat's. Lucky him eh.

Yes, calling your son a brat is absolutely disgusting behaviour and imo indicative of a person with no morals. No excuse or justification for it. I hope things go well for your DS.

I never called my children brats, they weren't!

Did he sack off the party?

I would be telling my child we're going - we're invited to a party, we accepted the invitation so we are going

@bloodyplumbing you are far too invested in this so I refuse to feed your curiosity.

There are loads and loads of threads on here where your viciousness may be more appropriate. Lots of cheats, liars, etc..not me and my 6 YEAR OLD CHILD.

@SoreAndTired1 my children are adults, they're just fine with mine and their DFs support and upbringing.

With boundaries and lots of friends, because they respected them.

Did he go to the party?

@bloodyplumbing I'm guessing no - OP asked for opinions, would be told it's rude not to go and didn't send her 6 year old anyway.

not the 6 year old's fault, mind...

OP, it’s okay to tell the thread your son didn’t go.

Why would the opinion of strangers on the internet affect you?

I'm hazarding a guess he's not gone!

Yep