Son has changed his mind about class party - doesn't want to go

[VeryBusyDoingNothing]

Wwyd. Came out with an invitation weeks ago and he said he wanted to. Announced now he doesn't know the child very well and he doesn't want to go. Turns out none of his close friends are going either. Feel rude not going but feel I can't force him?

I'm not just speaking about the OP! That should be more than obvious.

Can I ask are you sensitive with social anxiety?

Yes, I am. Which is why I am speaking from my experience. Forcing me to go would have broken me.

My husband has severe social anxiety and I myself have mild social anxiety too. It's not an excuse to be an irresponsible person who treats others with complete disregard. My husband always tells people in advance when his anxiety is high that he may cancel last minute and to not count with his presence if that's too complicated.

Anyway OP has never said her child suffers from social anxiety. He wanted to go then didn't feel like it on the day of the party!

@SoreAndTired1 stop projecting your issues on to your child and how dare you call me an irresponsible parent, because I don't do the same!

Just how dare you!!

@SoreAndTired1 but the op was asking about her own child who doesn't have anxiety. You seem to be projecting, this isn't about you as a child or another child with social anxiety.

Err, that’s not teaching. That’s imposition. There is a difference
Teaching is collaborative, discursive
Force is application of power

@Zone2NorthLondon err the brat was given a choice and he took it.....

You're enabling bad behaviour.

Good luck, you're going to need it!

This is ironic. You called children brats, spoilt brats, flakey, insinuated I don't have morals as a parent. How dare you. I said that type of parenting is irresponsible, I didn't say you were. And I am not projecting any issues on anyone.

Firstly we don't know if their son doesn't or does have anxiety. Secondly, the topic widened, someone else brought up anxiety first. Not me. I responded to their comment.

How dare you call a child a brat?

Just how dare you!!

Zone2NorthLondon is not the one enabling bad behaviour here. They (if they have a child) are teaching the child they have the right to say no if they feel uncomfortable in a situation. That child will know they can go to her. And thus have a strong relationship. Her child and her are not the one who will need the luck.

@SoreAndTired1 I'd hazard a guess that OP would've mentioned social anxiety, otherwise the thread is bollocks!!

The default is not but, but , but it could be social anxiety, which I'd say is not common with 6 year olds.

@SoreAndTired1 I agree the child can say no, when they are asked, but they said

YES

@SoreAndTired1 how dare you call me a bad parent!

Some children are brats....

Enabled by their parents.

And now they changed their mind. Who knows what the reason is. There may be no good reason. But, there may be.

They did not carve out a promise in stone in their blood. They changed their mind. It's as simple as that.

How dare you gaslight and misrepresent me! I didn't call you a bad parent.

How dare you insinuate I don't have morals?! Look at your own behaviour.

Btw, some parents are brats too, far worse than their children.

None of that means DC should let people down though. It becomes collaborative if you agree with each other to let the birthday child down. Thats just not what should happen. Obviously listen but DC do have to understand that promising to do something means you do it.

@SoreAndTired1 it's insinuated because his best friends aren't going? Or are you going to make a massive

What if

What if

He's being a bad friend!

Totally!!

@SoreAndTired1 oh give over!!

I'm now gaslighting...

JFC!!

@bloodyplumbing I think you should give up with sore and tired, there is just no getting through to her and she can't understand the logic of teaching a child to keep to their word. Some children are being raised to think they can do whatever they want whenever they want sadly, it's very common at my son's school.

@bloodyplumbing and 'misrepresenting'! 🥴

When you accuse me of saying things I never said, yet you have accused me of things, yes, that's gaslighting.

You are correct!

Off to watch BGT on catch up, because I said o would with DH.

I could however decide I don't want to, because it wasn't written in blood 🩸!

Oh yeah, that as well!

There must be more to it. Kids at 6 would never turn down a party,whether they know anyone there or not.