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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

549 replies

ticketproblems · 11/05/2024 22:45

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

OP posts:
wombat15 · 12/05/2024 08:28

Just ask her. She probably hasn't thought about the fact you would like to swap. As you say, the tickets are technically yours at the moment anyway. There is nothing to stop you refunding her ex and keeping them.

Cityandmakeup · 12/05/2024 08:29

Decoart · 11/05/2024 23:17

I'd be suprised if Ticketmaster will help.
My DD was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer recently and Ticketmaster won't assist with accessibility or changing venue. They just say sorry sold out sell your tickets.

Why should they? Everyone would come up with reasons to change. Buy insurance

Cityandmakeup · 12/05/2024 08:30

Just tell her what they have said, you already have seated tickets. Tell her she has two choices- swap or sell the tickets. Make it crystal clear.

HooverTheRoof · 12/05/2024 08:32

I don't understand the people saying you are entitled and cheeky. Of course she has no obligation to help you but she's your friend and it's the nice thing to do.

I think sacking off the men and going together sounds like a good plan, especially as her bf doesn't even like Taylor swift

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 12/05/2024 08:32

neverbeenskiing · 12/05/2024 08:17

Hi Friend,
I've contacted Ticketmaster multiple times. They won't help as from their perspective I already have 2 seated tickets in my name, so we need to sort this out ourselves. I won't be able to stand for 4+ hours so the options are
1 ) We swap tickets.
2 ) You and I take the seats and the boys stand.
3 ) I don't go, which means you won't be able to get in either as the tickets are all in my name.
What do you want to do?

Edited

This ^

Pottedpalm · 12/05/2024 08:33

jolies1 · 11/05/2024 22:58

Just be direct and explain you won’t be able to attend if you have to stand… you understand if not but would she be willing to trade her seated tickets for your standing so you can all go to the concert?

This!

Coconutter24 · 12/05/2024 08:37

ticketproblems · 11/05/2024 23:00

Exactly, I’m not travelling to the country to show my ID and my phone and then say bye!

Show quote history

Have you told her this?

PointWriter · 12/05/2024 08:37

Cityandmakeup · 12/05/2024 08:29

Why should they? Everyone would come up with reasons to change. Buy insurance

Show quote history

The worst of mumsnet right here.

cuckyplunt · 12/05/2024 08:39

Ask her, but be cool if she says no.

Ace56 · 12/05/2024 08:39

Hang on, so the tickets are in your name, you went through all the effort of buying them and if you don’t go, she won’t be able to get in either?

In that case I don’t think you even need to ask her tbh - I would just say ‘btw I hope you don’t mind but as I’m pregnant now I need the seated tickets, so I think we’re going to have to swap. I’ll of course pay you back the difference. Unless I can sit I really can’t go anymore which as you know means none of us can go!’

RoseUnder · 12/05/2024 08:40

Ace56 · 12/05/2024 08:39

Hang on, so the tickets are in your name, you went through all the effort of buying them and if you don’t go, she won’t be able to get in either?

In that case I don’t think you even need to ask her tbh - I would just say ‘btw I hope you don’t mind but as I’m pregnant now I need the seated tickets, so I think we’re going to have to swap. I’ll of course pay you back the difference. Unless I can sit I really can’t go anymore which as you know means none of us can go!’

The seated tickets are the cheaper ones - the other pair are standing which are more expensive.

Funnywonder · 12/05/2024 08:41

neverbeenskiing · 12/05/2024 08:17

Hi Friend,
I've contacted Ticketmaster multiple times. They won't help as from their perspective I already have 2 seated tickets in my name, so we need to sort this out ourselves. I won't be able to stand for 4+ hours so the options are
1 ) We swap tickets.
2 ) You and I take the seats and the boys stand.
3 ) I don't go, which means you won't be able to get in either as the tickets are all in my name.
What do you want to do?

Edited

Perfect. Succinct and spelling it out. This is what I would say right here.

Nanaof1 · 12/05/2024 08:41

Decoart · 12/05/2024 08:01

@Nanaof1 We have tickets for Liverpool in June which is 4hrs away from us. Luckily we have family we can stay with and seated tickets. Anfield have said to speak with Head Steward on the day for help.

She will of just finished a Chemo cycle so hope she will be well enough. Accessibility tickets would have helped.

Swapping to Wembley would have given her more time to recover. Ticketmaster didn't even pretend to try and help. We can show her diagnosis was months after buying the tickets.

Her survival rate is less than 30%,.probably more like 15% in the next 5 years, so not even a case of waiting for next TS tour.

I hope everything goes well with the trip and concert.

I am very sorry to read about your DD's diagnosis. I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for your DD, you and the rest of your family. 💔💔

FortunataTagnips · 12/05/2024 08:42

@Decoart That is really shocking of Ticketmaster. If your DD didn’t mind the publicity, I’d be really inclined to talk to the media about this.

Bestyearever2024 · 12/05/2024 08:42

Ace56 · 12/05/2024 08:39

Hang on, so the tickets are in your name, you went through all the effort of buying them and if you don’t go, she won’t be able to get in either?

In that case I don’t think you even need to ask her tbh - I would just say ‘btw I hope you don’t mind but as I’m pregnant now I need the seated tickets, so I think we’re going to have to swap. I’ll of course pay you back the difference. Unless I can sit I really can’t go anymore which as you know means none of us can go!’

This ^

It's pretty obvious that the tickets are yours. In your name, organised by you. 2 are paid for by her ex. So, zero tickets belong to her

You just tell her that your GP says you can't stand for 8 hours. If you have to stand, you can't go. If you can't go, all 4 tickets must be sold

I'm really not sure why there is an issue with any of this

IncompleteSenten · 12/05/2024 08:44

PointWriter · 12/05/2024 08:37

The worst of mumsnet right here.

Show quote history

I know. Someone talks about their daughter's stage four cancer and that is the way they put their response? It's disgusting.

Beautiful3 · 12/05/2024 08:45

Just tell her straight, the options are we swap tickets or I sell all 4 tickets. As you won't be able to get in without me. See what she says, and update us. Congratulations on the pregnancy.

TrailOfTime · 12/05/2024 08:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Ace56 · 12/05/2024 08:45

RoseUnder · 12/05/2024 08:40

The seated tickets are the cheaper ones - the other pair are standing which are more expensive.

Show quote history

Great, even better then. The friend is essentially getting a free upgrade.

Beautiful3 · 12/05/2024 08:46

Funnywonder · 12/05/2024 08:41

Perfect. Succinct and spelling it out. This is what I would say right here.

Show quote history

This is perfect.

PineappleTime · 12/05/2024 08:48

ticketproblems · 11/05/2024 23:00

Exactly, I’m not travelling to the country to show my ID and my phone and then say bye!

Show quote history

Well in that case it's easy! You tell her the only way you can all go is if you swap seats, otherwise you'll have to sell them all. No option!

3luckystars · 12/05/2024 08:49

Sell the standing tickets.

Go with ‘friend’ and both of you sit.
Your partners/boyfriends probably don’t mind not going.

Get the money back and spend it on the trip.

You are getting a seat, end of story.

Stop being a pushover here, tell her, not ask, if she wants to either swap both tickets and 4 of you go, with you and your dh sitting, or you will sell 2 standing and you and your friend will go and sit.

End of story. Those are the 2 options.

64zooooooolane · 12/05/2024 08:50

PointWriter · 11/05/2024 22:57

"I'm struggling with this pregnancy and can't go to the concert and stand for hours. Contacting them has been fruitless.

We could swap tickets, or I'll have to sell all of them as you need me there to access yours. Which would you prefer?"

Literally this especially as swapping means they all go. I just don't get what the actual issue is here that's got 8 pages of advice when your one comment is obviously all it comes down to.

CandiedPrincess · 12/05/2024 08:52

Bibbitybobbity70 · 11/05/2024 23:03

Have you bought them via ticketmaster? Or similar? Needs to be original purchaser I.e. present on night with ID to get entry anyway, so assuming it's on your account the it s up to you

That's not correct. Ticketmaster confirmed it wasn't a lead booker event so it didn't matter who booked the tickets.

Mountainhowl · 12/05/2024 08:54

The perfect solution is surely that you and your friend go, sell the standing tickets and bam there's plenty of money for the guys to have a night out doing something they would surely enjoy more and sort an uber/taxi for you both for after.

You are friends, you seem to both want to sit, at least one of the men doesn't like the artist, unless your partner is a huge TS fan and really looking forward to going I can't see why that wouldn't be preferable to the original plan anyway, who wants to go to a gig with someone who hates the artist anyway? That would ruin it for me!

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