Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

549 replies

ticketproblems · 11/05/2024 22:45

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

OP posts:
Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 12/05/2024 07:42

I'd do option C today.
Tell friend right now she chooses either swop the tickets or she can't go.

Either she swops
Or

You sell the standing tickets, send the appropriate amount to her Ex and then you go with the seated tickets.

Wither way you get what you need, she just needs to decide if she's going to cut her nose off to spite her face.

justasking111 · 12/05/2024 07:42

I hope it's not Madrid, Lyons will be cooler.

Morningcrows · 12/05/2024 07:43

You just go with your friend and both sit and then sell the 2 standing tickets.

You and DH can still travel together for a few days but he misses the concert. Would this be an issue for him?

Tamigotxh · 12/05/2024 07:45

justasking111 · 12/05/2024 07:36

If you're swollen and waddling now I honestly think health wise you should sell the tickets if you can't sit down. Have you checked the average temperature for this country at the time you will be there.

Check your insurance for what happens if you become unwell. Carry that insurance to the concert. Make sure you have enough money on credit cards to pay for immediate care.

Baby's more important than Taylor Swift.

Show quote history

Well that’s the whole point. She doesn’t need to sell the tickets because she will always have the option to sit down since two of the tickets on her account are seated.

Why would she miss out on TS because her friend isn’t being decent enough to offer to swap?

Good thing is she can choose which of the seats she wants from her account. Problem solved. It just sucks her friend isn’t offering.

PadstowGirl · 12/05/2024 07:46

I have no time for people like her.
She wouldn't even have tickets if you hadn't got them for her. You need to sit and are offering her an upgrade! Blimey a real friend would take a downgrade if it meant you could still go.
Can't believe there are people on here criticising the OP.

AlisonDonut · 12/05/2024 07:47

I would have kept the better tickets in the first place.

Boysnme · 12/05/2024 07:47

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 12/05/2024 00:06

I don't understand why you can't be direct.

"Ticketmaster can't help and as I'll be 7 months pregnant, there are only two options- I take the seated tickets or I'll have to cancel- which works best for you"

This message is perfect. Reasoned and factual.

Bunnycat101 · 12/05/2024 07:48

I think the best option is you and you friend take the seated tickets and the partners the standing. If you’re sharing accommodation, they’ll be spending time together any anyway so won’t be strangers/ potentially less bothered by the whole thing.

I would just say to her that you need one of the seated tickets and then her choice whether she takes one or swaps both.

NotOnnMyWatch · 12/05/2024 07:51

Morningcrows · 12/05/2024 07:43

You just go with your friend and both sit and then sell the 2 standing tickets.

You and DH can still travel together for a few days but he misses the concert. Would this be an issue for him?

This is a good solution

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 12/05/2024 07:53

I don't think your friend is being that selfish. I think it's complicated. I agree that I wouldn't have been able to cope with standing for 3 hours in the summer in my third trimester so I sympathise. But I also hate standing at gigs even when not pregnant, plus I would never choose to stand near the stage as I find the noise overwhelming and hate being jostled. I don't like any band or singer enough to take those tickets. So if I were your friend, it would be a choice between seated tickets and not going for me, too. I don't know if you've thought of that (there's probably more thread to read!).

InSpainTheRain · 12/05/2024 07:55

Have a blunt conversation with her: either you get the seats or you aren't going and you will cancel all 4 tickets.

By the way this will all seem so irrelevant and petty in a few weeks your wonder why it was important.

5128gap · 12/05/2024 07:57

It would have been nice of her to offer, but a bit harsh on her to expect it. You had the choice initially and chose what was best for you at the time. Its not her fault you are now pregnant and want something different. I also think if you ask for a swap you need to offer to pay her the difference. Its irrelevant that it wasn't her who paid initially and that the tickets were gifted by her ex. They were gifted to her, so she owns them.

AlisonDonut · 12/05/2024 07:57

AlisonDonut · 12/05/2024 07:47

I would have kept the better tickets in the first place.

Just to confirm, I'd NEVER go to a Taylor Swift concert - but if it was someone I wanted to see, I'd never have told them they got seated tickets at all.

Not 'I love Taylor so much I'd keep seated tickets to see her'.

TS13 · 12/05/2024 07:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

It has NOT been removed for many of the European concerts. I’m going to Munich and it absolutely IS a lead booker event. By the way I’m 52 and going with my daughter and I can’t wait. Side eye all you like. OP good luck, I could never stand for the length of a TS concert when heavily pregnant. I hope your friend steps up to help you out.

Decoart · 12/05/2024 08:01

@Nanaof1 We have tickets for Liverpool in June which is 4hrs away from us. Luckily we have family we can stay with and seated tickets. Anfield have said to speak with Head Steward on the day for help.

She will of just finished a Chemo cycle so hope she will be well enough. Accessibility tickets would have helped.

Swapping to Wembley would have given her more time to recover. Ticketmaster didn't even pretend to try and help. We can show her diagnosis was months after buying the tickets.

Her survival rate is less than 30%,.probably more like 15% in the next 5 years, so not even a case of waiting for next TS tour.

Yalta · 12/05/2024 08:07

ticketproblems · 11/05/2024 22:54

Mentioning: “if I can’t figure this out we may need to swap what would you think?”
her: “try to contact them again”.

Show quote history

To be honest I wouldn’t know what you are getting at with that

Ask her to swap her seated tickets for those by the stage as you need to sit as you are pregnant

Saying you can’t figure things out and then saying maybe we need to swap isnt saying what you want.

Your friend could be like me. If you don’t state exactly what you want then everything else goes over my head

Zonder · 12/05/2024 08:11

She's not a very good friend if she won't swap. If she insists on keeping the seated tickets I'd contact her ex and ask if he would like your floor tickets while you take the seated ones.

neverbeenskiing · 12/05/2024 08:17

Hi Friend,
I've contacted Ticketmaster multiple times. They won't help as from their perspective I already have 2 seated tickets in my name, so we need to sort this out ourselves. I won't be able to stand for 4+ hours so the options are
1 ) We swap tickets.
2 ) You and I take the seats and the boys stand.
3 ) I don't go, which means you won't be able to get in either as the tickets are all in my name.
What do you want to do?

Seasidesavvy · 12/05/2024 08:17

Editing because I think I woke up and made a grumpy comment

neverbeenskiing · 12/05/2024 08:19

Seasidesavvy · 12/05/2024 08:17

Editing because I think I woke up and made a grumpy comment

Edited

It's almost as if not all pregnancies are the same. With my DS I'd have been fine, with DD there's no way I could have stood for 4-6 hours when I was that far along.

Tumbler2121 · 12/05/2024 08:20

Haven’t read whole thread. Suggestion if not made before … sit next to your friend. Let the guys stand

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/05/2024 08:21

Seasidesavvy · 12/05/2024 08:17

Editing because I think I woke up and made a grumpy comment

Edited

Not everyone is the same. I suffered terribly with my one and only pregnancy and the toll on my body left me disabled. I would love to have had more than one child. You are very blessed in many ways to have been able to have 4 children.

IncompleteSenten · 12/05/2024 08:25

You need to be a lot more assertive here.
I need to sit or I cannot go and I'm not travelling there if I can't go to the concert. It's not happening. So choose.

Seasidesavvy · 12/05/2024 08:26

@Mummyoflittledragon @neverbeenskiing i know, I edited my post before you commented because I thought why am I being so grumpy. Also @Mummyoflittledragon please do not make judgements about my pregnancies, as much as I adore my children I have 2 children with disabilities one of them is profoundly disabled and will rely on me for care 24/7 for the rest of their life

Alwaysalwayscold · 12/05/2024 08:28

I agree you just need to tell her that either she swaps and you all go or she doesn't and nobody goes.

If she says no then sell the lot and refund her ex. She's a CF for trying to get out of swapping to start with when she only has them because of you and she didn't even pay for them.