to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

Tell her it's off, and instead invite the ex boyfriend and tell him to bring another TS fan.
Why are 3 people who aren't fans even going?! What a joyless night they'll have.

The Bf would not and isn’t ok with not being with friend. There’s a backstory here but he’s basically a red flag. So it’s not an option.

You're just being ridiculous now. Of course it's an option. Your friend's shitty boyfriend is her problem. She can go stand with him at the front if she has an issue.

This is fairly simple.

‘Sorry but I’m not going to be able to stand for the concert. As you know I need to be there for you to go on your tickets. So the options are a) you swap your seated tickets with mine or b) none of us go. What do you want to do?’

She is a good person ultimately.

On the male front, she is to unfortunately to blame for the ending of the relationships. They’re usually great guys, this one isn’t.

Ok brilliant, sorry if I came across as assuming you wouldn’t have your shit together. Obviously, I have no idea what country you’re a citizen of, but I was just a bit worried since so much insurance seems designed to almost catch you out, and then the differences post-Brexit. So glad everything is well for you! Then I would say go, and just tell your friend you take the seated tickets or no concert for anyone, and she can make her decision.

I’m not being ridiculous. I could suggest this is what happens but if the tickets are HERS and he refuses the alternative then either they both swap or neither. That is my point. I can’t dictate where he goes, only what to do with the tickets, and even then, that’s the point of the thread…

If the new boyfriend is a red flag it’s prob him putting pressure on your friend telling her what to do?

How good is this friend?

Only you can decide where the boundaries are.

If you’ve tried and failed to get in touch with the ticket retailer then email friend and let her know you’ve tried but you’ve realised there’s no way you can stand due to being pregnant and would she mind if you swapped the tickets over. And if she gets funny well you know she’s a friend not worth having…

But she can’t go standing whether or not she is sightseeing beforehand. It’s too long standing. That would be so painful for me at that stage of pregnancy after 40 minutes much less 4 hours or 8 hours. I’d have to sit on the floor until first aid could come remove me.

She can't use "her" tickets if you aren't there, and you won't be there without a seat, so she either accepts it or she doesn't go. It's really that simple.

Tough. The OP went through the trouble of getting the tickets (as pp have said, these aren’t just any concert tickets - to get taylor swift tickets is a massive ordeal with several different stages to go through before even being given the chance to buy online…) If it weren’t for the OP, the friend wouldn’t be going at all, so she should be thanking her lucky stars OP put the time and effort in for her anyway and was successful. Plus she can’t get in without the OP being there. OP can definitely call the shots - it’s a no-brainer!

The lead booker requirement was in place for the Swedish shows right up until very recently but have now been removed. Maybe the same thing will happen elsewhere in Europe. Doesn't necessarily help the OP but maybe useful for others to know

This is for SWEDEN though

"Are the Swedish shows ‘Lead Booker’ Events?"
"The terms and conditions of sale for tickets purchased for Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour shows in Sweden have been updated, there is no longer a requirement for the lead booker to be present and attend the show alongside their accompanying ticketholders."

"Can I transfer tickets to somebody else?"
"Yes, Ticket Transfer has now been enabled for Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour. You can sign in to your account to transfer a ticket to somebody else. 
Please note that the terms and conditions of sale for tickets purchased for Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour shows in Sweden have been updated, there is no longer a requirement for the lead booker to be present and attend the show alongside their accompanying ticketholders."

I wouldn't see that as a 'no-brainer' myself because it's a childish attitude to think well I got them and they're in my account so I can do what I want, I would see them as sold as soon as they had paid for them.

Chances are that the lead booker will be lifted or else it won't be enforced at all, it doesn't seem to be being enforced in Paris.

As a side note and not really relevant but if agree a way they can all go and it's enforced that's going to be extremely annoying as most likely there are different entrances for the sections so the OP will have to go join the long queue with her friend for her friend to get in and then go and join her own line at her own entrance after that!!

They'd probably end up giving you a seat then to be fair 😅
The fainters etc always seem to be accommodated from what I've seen at gigs so they must keep some seats free for that, either in the main section or in accessibility.

Quite frankly, having read most of the thread and all your updates OP, this stress can't be helping your pregnancy and in your place I'd just not go at all. Your 'friend' who isn't even a Swiftie, is more than capable of standing as is her boyfriend and if they can't see that a pregnant woman needs a seat more than them, they aren't friends at all.

Of course she should swap with you, definitely ask her directly and remind her that the front standing tickets are better!

Otherwise I'll happy swap my crappy seats at Wembley for your standing ones!

So be direct.

Ticketmaster have said as I have seated tickets, I cannot swap my other tickets. Therefore I'm ordering for us to attend, I'll use the standing tickets with Husband and you and Boyfriend can have the standing tickets. Don't worry about the price difference, the important thing is us all going. Let me know if you want to discuss this further.

If she comes back and says she wants seated say
"If I can't sit, I can't go which means we can't go. I assume the lads don't want to be standing alone all night without us. If you really can't do standing, I'm happy to sell the tickets and refund Ex"

But you're able to access toilets on demand (well ok you have to queue), can sit and rest, can get access to to drinks,can stand out the way. Entirely different to a concert where you're queuing to get in then standing through support,if you leave for the loo or a drink you're squeezing through tight crowds, where you can't sit on the floor, where getting out is an all for oneself squeeze.

I feel the same - especially flying late on in a longed for pregnancy after miscarriage. But I realise this TS tour is a massive event to people (even tho I think she's really mediocre)

If they're really good tickets could you post on that FB page and find someone who wants standing tickets, but has seated and do a ticket swap on the day? Might be a little risky, but it could be a way to go.

"DH would still be fine with enjoying the city (he loves it there) and selling his ticket. The Bf would not and isn’t ok with not being with friend. There’s a backstory here but he’s basically a red flag. So it’s not an option."

I did wonder whether this was a BF problem.

I think you need to circle that back round with your friend then. If ultimately you can't stand (which IMO is reasonable and sensible), AND they need you there to get them in, AND "they" won't swap you for a seat, then there is no way for them to access their 2 seated tickets is there? The lead booker thing means this very much becomes their problem.

What would happen if you put it to your friend that you can't go without the seat, so without one you will be forced to cancel the entire booking? Leave the ball in their court to find a way. They seem to think that at the moment the default is you get them in and you stand, but maybe the default is that no one gets to go.

Personally I flipped from totally fine to travel abroad to really uncomfortable with it overnight, like a switch flipped in my brain, at 28w. So I would be wary of committing to travel that others are depending on, late in pregnancy. That was work travel though - fun travel may well be different.

If the concert is where I think it is then the OP doesn't need to fly.

Sounds like a simpler answer here (unless your DH would be gutted to miss it), is that you and friend take the two seated tickets, the boys go for drinks/ food elsewhere whilst you're at the concert and you sell the two standing tickets?

If that's not sounding good, the sensible thing is to actually say to her 'Friend, I cannot stand through the concert, so I will be taking one of the seated tickets. Either you and your BF can take the standing tickets together, or you and I can take the seated ones, and either Husband and BF can stand together, or if they'd rather not bother I can see them/ invite two of the girls from work who'd love to come'.
The tickets are in your name, and she hasn't paid for them, so it's realistically touch luck for her.

There will be loads of room at the back and no need to squeeze at all. Just stay at the back.
The back of standing is probably the most chilled and roomy place at a concert.
And you can easily see if there are queues for drinks and go when there's hardly anyone there.

I said in a previous post I never sat at a concert in the sun, but I've been at matches in the sun and it was horrific being restricted to a seat, you could go to the toilet or bar of course but then you'd miss it. Also depending on how far into the row you are and how big the baby bump is it could be an absolute pain if you have to keep getting up and making your way out to the toilet squeezing by everyone else who is seated.

YANBU
I would have offered for my best friend before she would even have to ask!

Agree 👍🏼