to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

I had horrible pregnancies and couldn't have done this at all, even without the hearing issue.

And the person saying, "I'm having chemo and can do standing concerts!" well, bully for you: when I was having chemo I ended up in a wheelchair and was left with chronic fatigue, permanently as I managed to get glandular fever during as well. As with pregnancy, we are all different. I found birth a complete doddle - literally said, "Was that it?! I could do that again!" as soon as my eldest was out, but I don't pop up on threads scorning people who have birth trauma, because my experience is not their experience. This should not be hard.

As to Taylor Swift.... as mentioned, I have tickets, and have chosen not to go as I know others are desperate to, and I'm not. That doesn't mean she's not ferociously talented, and that I don't immensely admire her. You might as well judge the Beatles by I Wanna Hold Your Hand, or Love Me Do, both of which were bubblegum pop adored by teenage girls. Folklore, which my daughter plays on rotation, is more Joni Mitchell than Katy Perry. Her lyricism can be remarkable and she's extraordinarily good at what she does. I'm really glad my daughter is a devoted fan, too, because Swift also donates hugely to charity, stands up for herself (was groped and went to court to prove it when the little shit tried to sue her after being fired, rather than the easy pay-off, because as she said, if a woman with photographic evidence doesn't say, "no" who will?) makes no bones about wanting to make money and that there's nothing attractive about being gullible in business terms, and writes really moving songs about childhood and friendship, too. My little girl sang The Best Day to me with slightly altered lyrics, as her own brother is older and not younger, and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried.

I also thought she was bubblegum, from radio rotation of the big hits from a decade ago, and it's only having a daughter who is squarely in her demographic that made me recognise my error. Personally I prefer Billie Eilish of her big passions, and wish I'd known those tickets were on sale recently, as I'd have bought them and gone. But that doesn't mean I don't admire Swift, and recognise she's writing music that in 30 years will still have huge cultural heft, in, again, the Beatles sort of sphere - because her achievements now are in sales and awards terms on par with them.

I didn't grow up with her and so she doesn't have the gut punch pull for me she does for younger women, whose lives she has soundtracked, so I have passed on going myself. But that doesn't mean I don't recognise her own growth and development from being a teenager writing pop, to a woman in her 30s writing far more complex stories about her life, and her imagination, albeit in an accessible format. And it saddens me that other women dismiss an art form beloved of young women because that just seems such clear internalised misogyny. Why is it that being young, and a woman, means that liking something is inherently trite and demeaning? Or that older people can't also like and admire it?

Why doesn't your husband and her boyfriend take the standing seats and you and your friend the seated ones

Well, AXS sent me the attached. These tickets are for Wembley, next month.

Not all shows are sold out. I know a few people who got on the day Paris ones. I guess that poster’s daughter could try.

Of course. I found the venue I’m going to - and the accessibility line - really helpful. :) I am not criticising Ticketmaster.

Well if you don’t have a code you still can’t tickets! Or anywhere near them.
I can’t see anything on Ticketmaster as I have no code 😭so even if they become available I am still locked out.

I can’t wait till these Taylor concerts are over, I still feel very aggrieved that I wasn’t even allowed to line up for tickets. I had no code so never had a chance.

I’m still hoping for a miracle for 3 tickets last minute and I’ll bring my daughters!!

To the earlier poster who went to her concert in Paris last week, was it amazing?? Tell me!!

@ticketproblems It's black and white on the Ticketmaster website. You can tell the FB group they are wrong....

Tell us!!! What was it like???
Best night ever??

Came on to say exactly this, or even not go, if they’re not that fussed.

Accessibility tickets for Liverpool unless in the wheelchair section are no different than regular seats. They are just a certain number of seated tickets set aside and there is a free carer option. So if you have seats now you won't be worse off. Also if you bring proof of her health needs you can bring water (or any other non alcoholic drink) and snacks into the venue. I hope she has a lovely time.

You got a code if you registered for midnights you didn't even need to make a purchase. Why didn't you do that?

To be honest OP, I think you have muddled things up unnecessarily.

They are your tickets in the eyes of the seller as they are registered on your account. I’m not sure what more support the retailer can offer you. It’s something you need to sort with your friend.

In an industry where reselling tickets is rife, I wouldn’t be surprised if they do end up coming back to you and encouraging you to use your seated tickets instead of your standing tickets. With how far along you are in your pregnancy, you might not even be able to sit through the entire concert - it might be one of those ones you forego?

If you are at an impasse with your friend and you both insist on having the seated tickets and sitting with your respective partners, then ultimately your friendship might be impacted (if it’s not already). If that happens, just refund her and take it as a lesson to not mix finances and friends. In her eyes she’s genuinely purchased those tickets albeit her ex paid, so she should have standard rights to use them - it’s impersonal just like any other purchase. Your perspective is personal, you’ve done her a massive favour etc and she’s being inconsiderate. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s a solution where everyone gets what they want.

Not if she paid more for the seated ones. Imagine being this level of entitled.

Hi Op, It sounds like you've got that side covered.

I only asked because I went to the US at around 5/6 months preg (admittedly this was a v long time ago!) and there was a right fuss around insurance and GP notes etc.

We ended up doing a lot of walking across the city with friends, it was v hot, I was tired after the flight, and I couldn't keep up with their speed and felt awful. We hadn't stopped for food all day and they, reluctant at the pause, dragged me to a cafe they'd heard of (even further away). When I saw the massive flight of stairs, they expected us to climb, I uncharacteristically burst into heavy embarrasing sobs, in front of all the onlookers as I'd just reached the limit of my ability to carry on. Our friends were well-meaning but none, including DH, had any first-hand knowledge of pregnancies so they just didn't get it. DH is a sportsmen soldier on type of thinking in that if one can't see an actual injury, it's probably mind over matter and you just need to plough through it.

All I'm saying is there can be pressure to keep up and not spoil the group's fun, and its sometimes hard for others to understand that you will be more delicate than usual and may need to stop and have a breather in order to carry on, so if you do go, make sure they really understand that.

I know TS doesn't have a mosh pit going on but Your friend needs to realise that you cannot stand at the excited front line of a packed gig for several hours with all the buffetting you will get from jiggling and jumping in your third trimester.
If she's too self-focused to see that -- you have to, without any guilt, take the course of action that suits you and your baby's health as you are the only one who really understands what is best/or possible for your situation.

I was just thinking back to my experience in my post really and hoping that you had the bases covered, and back-up plans if you are not, in the end, feeling up to it. But wishing you all the very best and fingers crossed you will find a way.

Yes, but I didn’t know!! I’m a big ape!!

Just listened to Best Day Ever and the tears are in my eyes, it’s a great song. Anyway, as I said I’m still hoping for a miracle. Maybe loads of people have gotten pregnant in the meantime and I will get 3 tickets 😄

Sorry if it's already been mentioned but how would the men feel about missing the concert they could come but do something else during the concert and you and friend could take the two seated tickets and sell the standing two?
I agree friend should offer especially as you have tried phoning yourself as a friend I would of offered in this position if both her and bf haven't got a reason for needing seats themselves nothing to do with them being in your name just because your far along in pregnancy just ask friend outright to swap if she edge's round giving you answer again such as phone them maybe just you two going could be an idea.

YANBU @ticketproblems.

She's not much of a friend is she?

I'd tell her you're allocating the seats to you and standing to her. She'll be nearer the stage anyway.

Also was going to suggest this, or if they're not worried about going, sell the 2 standing ones and they can drop/pick you both up

If you bothered to read just the first post you would know the seated tickets are cheaper.

Personally, i would have offered the seats to you anyway as a friend...but your friend might be oblivious or just selfish. Ask her lol. Can i have your seat tickets ive contacted accessibility and its no go ...so can we swap and you stand because i will be heavily pregnant? Simple as that,

Good thinking

Yes I will be transferring my tickets to my daughter nearer the time. As I have just done with my Olivia Rodrigo tickets. It will be allowed. Apart from VIP ones I understand.

As they're in your account and only you can access them, I don't see why you don't get first dibs on the seats you want and she has to take what's left?

Friend didn't buy, she is not even fan of TS, her ex who is a fan bought them..

That....is literally OPs question
and the topic 320 people have responded to since
did you even read...anything?