to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

My mind never ceases to be boggled by the number of people who think everyone experiences everything the same way. I mean, on the one hand you've admitted that your husband is different from you because he likes to sit down at gigs, whereas you like to stand. But yet you still can't get your head around the fact that everyone experiences pregnancy differently. Some women can barely move from a seated to a standing position, let alone stand for hours, while others are sanding floors and building sheds at the bottom of their garden. And everything in between.

I agree.

Realistically, fabulous as the gig may be it doesn't sound as if you've fully thought this through and are worrying too much about the tickets. -

1. its in another country ( a hotter country, in the summer?)
2. in your third trimester.
3. Have you checked that you will be able to fly? Some airlines wont allow it. Some will ask for GP's permission.
4. Have you checked you will get travel insurance?

No one knows how things will pan out. It will hopefully go very smoothly, but what if you need some medical help towards the end.. Quick access to this can often alleviate an issue and stop it becoming a problem. Will this be possible whilst travelling? What if you go into early labour?

Shouldn't you prioritise erring on the side of caution so that you don't stress yourself in the run up to the birth? You don't know how you might be feeling. It would be different if it was in your home country, and it was a short journey, but you've already said up thread you are swollen and waddling. I was pregnant during a heatwave.

What does your midwife say?

Who would be helping you? If your friend is already being self centred about the tickets, how helpful would she be to you if she had to miss part or all of the concert in her VIP seats to help you out in an emergency?

Your baby is more important. Taylor Swift will gig again.

This is a sad situation but what do you want Ticketmaster to do? Take tickets from another person with accessible tickets so they can’t go, in order that this person does?

seating is almost always finite at these venues, not a case of adding in an extra chair?

You are in control here; you get the tickets in her account, she doesn’t. You need to be firm. ‘Look friend, I’m going to need the 2 seated tickets. You and friend can have the other two standing tickets. If this does not work for you, I’ll sell all 4 and pay back your ex bf. Sorry about this but there is no other way, hope you understand!’

I don't know why you're bringing your miscarriage into it. I understand that your baby is important to you (as everyone's is to them!) but if it was THAT important, you wouldn't be flying to a Taylor Swift concert, you'd be staying at home, in your own country. What would you do if something happened over there when you don't even speak the language? You said in your OP that you can "only just" fly, meaning you'll be quite far on. If it was me, I wouldn't go at all.

Ask your friend to swap by all means, but if she doesn't want to, there's not much you can do about it. I hate standing at gigs, it'd completely ruin my experience of it, so there's no way I'd want to be swapping.

They always have extras, they are never completely 100% sold out. In the case of the poster’s daughter with stage 4 cancer with a poor prognosis, they could do something.

Not true.

I picked your 8.17 post moments after it appeared when refreshing the thread. Had it already been changed, I would have simply scrolled on by.

I get you are having a hard time. I am too. Posting a comment and then realising it was a mistake happens to us all. It’s really not that deep.

I would give your “friend” one more chance and then sell back the tickets…but also I agree with the people saying that even with seats, this may not be a good idea. DH dragged me along to an outdoor concert in summer when pg, as it was very close to our home - it was prob May or June and DD was born late July. No matter how close to home, there ends up being a lot of walking, standing, sunny day so quite warm etc. I ended up in the medical tent feeling faint/unwell, nothing was specifically wrong though and one of the docs gave me a lift home when their shift was over:- it was quite clear the medics all thought it was irresponsible to attend anything like that in late stages of pregnancy.

good luck 🍀

I know someone who works for a Ticketmaster legal team and she said not every single ticket is sold for every single event. Some are held back. The artist has the power, especially a superstar like Taylor Swift.

And not every venue is owned by Ticketmaster. They are a ticketing agent, not the promoter/venue owner. It differs everywhere. I work in this industry and have been on the receiving end of abuse from people wanting accessible tickets for sold out events. If the accessible seat physically doesn’t exist because other people, with accessible needs themselves, have bought them, what do you think is the solution?? There are H&S regulations preventing overcrowding in these situations, for everyone’s comfort, enjoyment and safety.

No I know but maybe the daughter in question doesn’t need accessible seats, she may just not be able to stand.

I have accessible TS tickets but I got additional dates and I would never dream of being abusive when I initially didn’t get tickets.

There probably aren’t loads of people who sadly received a very serious diagnosis like that, so it would be nice if there could be a way to accommodate. I know it’s not the case of chucking in extra chairs but there will be some seats not 100% sold out. It’s worth an ask!

It's really simple. You can go unless seated. She can't go unless you go. You literally HAVE to swap.

You just need to be direct with her and stop dragging this out, it's not worth the energy is it.

Maybe she's not taking the hint becuase she thinks it would be better for you to get moved to the accessible ticket area, and she thinks that's what you're hoping for too. But as that's not definite right now, you need to let her know what's going to happen.

@TorturedPoetsDepartmentAnthology believe me, anyone in the business of selling tickets will sell one if it’s available! No one is gate keeping tickets 🤣

Things do sell out, particularly something as hyped as TS.

Am I the only one stunned at the number of people on this thread whose pop culture knowledge seems stagnated c. 2011. TS early songs were poppy but her style has changed/evolved as she's grown older - that's literally the main thing she's famous for and what the 'eras' tour is based on!

She's got 14 Grammy awards and was the first artist to win album of the year 4 times. This eras tour is the biggest tour that has ever taken place. Ever. It's grossed over a billion dollars already.

I'm not a particular fan but by scoffing at her music as only relevant to tweens you just make yourself look ignorant.

OP I think you need to have a firm discussion with your friend literally spelling out:
"I cannot use the standing tickets now I am pregnant. If you want to go I need to be there as the booker. I am not going to fly out just to stand there and show your tickets. So either we swap and you take the standing tickets and I have your seated ones, or I'll sell the tickets back. What do you want to do?'

If she starts complaining it's not fair just say "I'm sorry it's a slight change of plans but it's not hugely unfair. If you choose to swap you're still getting to see TS, in fact you're getting more expensive tickets at a lower price. If you don't want to swap and don't go at all you're not in any worse position than you would have been if I hadn't got the tickets for you in the first place, it's not like you gave up seats you bought yourself for these ones, if I hadn't bought them you couldn't have gone at all.'

tbh it sounds like when her bf first asked you to buy the tickets it was literally a case of 'buy anything you possibly can' rather than 'please only buy seated tickets' so she could have ended up with standing originally.

The only thing it's not clear is if she's paid out other money - flights, hotel, on the expectation of these tickets, in which case if she really doesn't want the standing ones that is a bit unfair on her.

They have scrapped this now- for Dublin anyway. Was on the news a couple of weeks ago.

I hate standing, i get tired and grumpy! However if you were my friend and you did me such a massive favour I’d swap with you!

They will have tickets held back however they can't make exceptions for everyone. There will be hundreds, if not thousands of people who would have genuine reasons for needing assistance etc but they can't meet all their needs.

Yeah, my daughter's tickets still say you can't transfer (we bought via AX) and we have 4, none of which will be going to me. 1 for my daughter, 1 for her chaperone (a teacher who is a TS fan and would value them more than me) and 2 for someone is who is also a TS fan, has been extraordinarily lovely to my family for years now at a level that cost her paid opportunities. I've checked with AX and transfer will be available about 2 weeks before the event.

None of which changes the fact that the OP generously gave her code, and winning tickets, to a friend at face value when she could have sold them for literally thousands each instead. For the friend to respond to that by blocking any suggestion that she takes standing, and gives her now pregnant friend the seated, makes her a really, really shitty friend.

I don't think some of those responding have any idea how valuable Taylor Swift tickets are. Ours have a face value of £95 each, yet are on Stub Hub for £2000 each. We have chosen to give our two spares to someone whose support and kindness we could never repay in either money or gifts, because it's a gesture to show how appreciative we are, that she could never justify buying for herself. The OP was kind enough to help her friend out instead of profiting herself, and now her friend is refusing to put herself to the least inconvenience at all to support a pregnant mate.

That's not a friend and if I were the OP I would be sorely tempted to refund the friend, and sell the bloody tickets on in order to pay for a pram and a holiday.

will you be able to even travel by then

not same concert but i coulnt transfer my take that tikets till about a week before

I am in a group on Facebook for TS fans - they uploaded a screenshot from Ticketmaster saying they won’t allow transfer at any point. I’m very confused at how that’s possible

Taylor Swift tickets are like gold dust. Morally she should swap, if I were you I'd basically say that's what you're going to do. Either she swaps, or you refund ex-boyfriend or her the money. The tickets are in your name after all. I can't imagine in what universe I would not help a pregnant friend out!
Enjoy your show!

You simply tell her "We need to swap tickets or neither of us can go, which would you rather do"?

1. another country, not hotter. Similar to London.
2. yes
3. yes I’m allowed with a note
4. yes I have insurance, pregnancy isn’t something you need to insure specifically as it’s not a medical condition.

Midwife says fine at present, if anything changes that’ll be assessed. If I don’t feel well, I wouldn’t go.

my DH is there hence why I need him to come. The country has amazing healthcare so I wouldn’t be worried about that albeit a little scared.