Kids playing in park

[Pickingmyselfup]

Kids are soon to be 7 and 9, they have started playing alone in the park next to the house. I can see the majority of it through various windows/can hear the kids because they are noisy and see them by poking my head above the fence.

They know to stay in the park and there is a sensible older boy who will be in high school this year who also plays with them and keeps an eye on them.

It's lovely, they get freedom, I get peace and everyone is happy.

BUT

How do I start to relax?? I think my biggest fear is them being taken which is also the most unlikely scenario that could ever happen! It's a small kids park on a village estate, not an inner city crack den!

My youngest is only allowed out alone with his brother unless I'm outside pottering. All in all the risk is low but letting go is so hard! I'm constantly checking on them like every 30 seconds (mostly this is just me poking my head out when I can't hear them)

I don't want to be a helicopter parent, I had a lot more freedom but looking back I was capable of being sensible (ish) and mine are boys and a bit hyper so I'm not sure how sensible they are!

I did catch them once outside of the park away from the house and I promptly dragged them inside telling them that they were told to stay in the park itself, if they were to not listen then they would have to stay in for the near future. As I said to them it's not about where you were but I told you to stay in x place and you didn't do that so you have broken my trust.

I feel like this is a great starting point for their independence but God its hard! How do you deal with this??

Those videos are really useful even if they were terrifying and I think they should be shown in schools. The world is full of dangers and kids need to know about them sooner rather than later.

My 8 year old heard about those boys so we took the opportunity to go over how dangerous frozen lakes are with both of them and why you should never step on them. I wouldn't trust him near one at the minute and we don't live near a lake either but it's still necessary to discuss things for if/when the eventuality happens.

It's difficult to put an age on playing out because there are so many variables. Whilst everyone can agree a 2 year old should never be unsupervised it can go the other way and not letting your year 7 child out of your sight is also too extreme.

Something more in the middle has to be child/area dependent and only the parent can judge what is appropriate (and still worry even if they feel it is!)

Has anyone seen those videos about the most dangerous ways to go to school?

Some of the stuff those kids have to deal with alone is insane but yet they seem to do it so well. The parents have obviously got a lot of trust and feel they can cope alone but in a lot of cases they don't have a choice, they either do it alone or don't go to school.

I've shown my older child some of the old British warning videos, though we have no farms near us so I expect she's in no danger of drowning in a silo any time soon! But they are very good at making the dangers really stick in your mind, much better than just telling a child what's dangerous.
Frozen lakes are a bit more of a grey area as we do go on them when its safe (ice thickness gets reported - DD once had a class trip on the frozen lake, to go ice fishing, but at that point the children were old enough to understand that just because it was safe that day, with their teacher, didn't mean it was safe every day) so that grey area makes it more confusing for children.