School allergy policy and cosmetics - AIBU to think this is overkill?

[Areolaborealis]

DD has extremely dry skin and hair, and after trying various chemical-laden and expensive products, we've found using natural oils in the bath to be the most effective management (rapeseed, coconut, and castor oil usually). We've been doing this for years.

DD9's school has a very strict no nuts and seeds policy that has recently been extended to cosmetics. After a recent bag inspection, DDs moisturiser was sent home because it contained castor oil (I actually didnt realise this). I have no issue with not sending this to school but it got me thinking about whether it's irresponsible to still use these oils at home given that she will presumably take traces into school with her. FWIW, there are no known nut, seed, coconut or castor allergies in her class but I don't know about the rest of the school. I hate the idea of sending DD into school covered in an allergen but I'm not sure how much I want this policy to dictate what we use at home. DD has become anxious about this and has started checking all our product ingredients.

AIBU to think this is overkill?

Exactly, when you can die because your throat closes and your organs shut down, in the worst instances if it is in an airborne form - that is serious.

It is getting more common as it started with environmental factors and them messing with our food, but a generation or two on, it’s passed in the dna too. It can happen to anyone or their children and gc, so do not be complacent. Sudden onset is not unheard of either.

It is not just nuts. In fact peanut is not a nut. Peanut tends to be the most severe, and they can often eat other nuts even if they are allergic to peanut.

Egg, diary, fish are really serious too.

All other food preferences like religious or vegan, are all well and good but nothing will happen to someone if they eat the wrong thing, they might not even notice.

Peanuts are not nuts either, same family as peas and beans.

I was being facetious. But where does this thinking stop? If you isolate everyone who might cause you a slight inconvenience, where does it end? Who are you left with?

I read somewhere yesterday that, in the not so distant future, 1 in 2 people are likely to have food allergies. I guess that will make that isolating a bit easier 🙃

Actually your chances of having a fatal reaction can be higher or lower depending on the food trigger you're allergic to. Peanuts very often trigger severe reactions and are responsible for 30 -50% of fatal anaphylatic reactions overall.

That's why they're taken so seriously.

Of course that doesn't mean other allergies shouldn't be taken very seriously too and that dairy isn't a big problem in children in particular, even more so than nuts. The fact that people don't realise how serious reactions to dairy can be is problematic in itself.

But the fact remains that your chance of having a severe, fatal reaction when exposed to an allergen can vary depending on the allergic trigger (among other things) and that peanuts are one of the top offenders in places like the UK and US.

I don’t agree with isolating people as a general rule.

the only issue with allergies is that they can be heavily influenced by the people around you and it’s very very difficult to ask people en masse to start/stop doing/eating something.

if my child had a deadly nut allergy I would consider isolation if it meant keeping them alive.

You wouldn't though, because no parent would actually consider isolating their child for a manageable medical condition.

if my child had a deadly nut allergy I would consider isolation if it meant keeping them alive.

The fact that most parents of nut allergic children don't consider this a good strategy should tell you something. Other than on a very small scale (no, we won't be attending the party at Five Guys, thank you anyway) isolation is not the answer.

Sorry, yes, you're right, I was typing sloppily.

But it is frustrating seeing serious allergies to other allergens not taken seriously at all, and then people panicking when I mention peanuts.

Thank you for this. The language used by that poster is full of aggression and ignorance. I’d welcome anyone to observe a day in our lives to see that inconvenience is such a mild word for what we live with on a regular basis, how careful we are in selecting his education, how much more we spend on everything from skin creams to bread, and how much we compromise on.

To anyone who has a child with allergies, please don’t be put off by the aggression in this thread. Most of the people we meet are kind and want to help. We see this even before they find out that our child is the one with allergies so we know that they aren’t simply being kind to our faces.

Yes, agree with that! We have a number of allergies in the family and some are definitely taken more seriously than others by friends/family.

Airborne allergies do exist for severely allergic people.

Look at it this way, if you (a non allergic person) can be poisoned by a chemical if you eat it, are you saying that if I cook it and put you in a room with it, that the vapour won’t harm you?

Cooking the allergen is a risk as it becomes airborne.

The thing with peanut on a plane is different. That’s dust, yes it can be in the air recycled on a plane. In a normal room though, much less likely and most importantly you can leave the room. Allergic ppl can normally feel something is wrong and flee the hazard. Planes are a difficult place for allergy sufferers

To be fair, it’s not the allergy I lose sleep over, it’s the attitudes of other people. If my son has an allergic reaction I’m 99% sure it’s going to be because due to someone else’s careless, negligent, or selfish action.

You did not answer the question, just made a sarky comment.
Noot helpful

The point about 'nut free' environments creating a false sense of security is a good one as my mistake with the seed oil cream demonstrates. I would never have sent DD to school with a seed sandwich but I've been unknowingly slathering her with the oil and sending her in for years! I once sent DS to nursery with a few Chinese style soy crackers not realising that they were made with peanut oil. I felt awful when I realised this because there was a child with this allergy in the room. So, even with the best of intentions mistakes happen. Other measures like handwashing and not sharing food are critical for this reason.

There’s no evidence of a lot of things. I’ve never seen any data on this.

Considering you’re talking about the literal safety of a child’s life, why would you risk it? Nut free schools hurt nobody. Literally nobody.

Nut free schools don’t create a false sense of security.

You are comparing chalk and cheese. Castor oil is not a common allergen. It seems incredibly unlikely that someone would be anaphylactic to it.

Because the experts who know a lot more about this than me don't advocate nut free schools. The guidance has been posted upthread a couple of times.

As has been said, nut free schools can hurt people if it's assumed nuts aren't present when they in fact are, because people are human and make mistakes. Heck, I've come very close to packing my DD off to her nut free out of school club with her epipens for her peanut allergy and a hazelnut kinder hippo. It's easily done. Better to assume the allergen is present and avoid sharing food, wash hands etc.

OP

but it got me thinking about whether it's irresponsible to still use these oils at home given that she will presumably take traces into school with her. FWIW, there are no known nut, seed, coconut or castor allergies in her class but I don't know about the rest of the school. I hate the idea of sending DD into school covered in an allergen but I'm not sure how much I want this policy to dictate what we use at home. DD has become anxious about this and has started checking all our product ingredients.

AIBU to think this is overkill?
So you think it might be irresponsible to use them and you would hate to send your dc into school covered in an allergen .... but you also don't want school policy to dictate your life and wonder if it's overkill.

Surely it's your apparent concern about your dc covered in an allergen that would dictate your home life no?
You sound disingenuous. You can't be concerned and then in the next sentence state you are bothered by the interference

Not really. You can't mitigate if someone sits next to you in a place eating nuts. You can't expect allergic dc to not attend school. If you want to be in society you have to live in a manner that supports the society

@Gwenhwyfar

But we don't know if somebody does have such a severe allergy
Schools have hundreds of people coming and going. They can't implement rules when there is someone and remove them when that person leaves only to reimplement when someone else joins.

@RandomButtons I'm not saying don't ban nuts. I was agreeing with the point above that its risky to assume that because an allergen is banned it won't be in the environment. It might be there by accident like in my soy (peanut) cracker example.

Of course you can. You can say "Excuse me, I have a severe nut allergy. Would you mind wiping down the table when you're done and washing your hands when done (if you expect the person to remain in contact with you)?".

@tridento

Its a discussion about the level of risk and whether continuing mitigations outside of school is proportionate. Now I'm aware of the ingredients, I have no intentions of sending her into school with the actual cream but would like her to continuing using it at home - oil at bath time, and a lotion in the morning. Not sure what level of risk this poses, if any.

Yes I think I’ll end up making some mistakes come September, I don’t check the ingredients for food so unless something obviously contains nuts I might not realise.

Exactly what we do every time we go out, as well as having my own wipes for trains etc.