School allergy policy and cosmetics - AIBU to think this is overkill?

[Areolaborealis]

DD has extremely dry skin and hair, and after trying various chemical-laden and expensive products, we've found using natural oils in the bath to be the most effective management (rapeseed, coconut, and castor oil usually). We've been doing this for years.

DD9's school has a very strict no nuts and seeds policy that has recently been extended to cosmetics. After a recent bag inspection, DDs moisturiser was sent home because it contained castor oil (I actually didnt realise this). I have no issue with not sending this to school but it got me thinking about whether it's irresponsible to still use these oils at home given that she will presumably take traces into school with her. FWIW, there are no known nut, seed, coconut or castor allergies in her class but I don't know about the rest of the school. I hate the idea of sending DD into school covered in an allergen but I'm not sure how much I want this policy to dictate what we use at home. DD has become anxious about this and has started checking all our product ingredients.

AIBU to think this is overkill?

“and this is a very legitimate risk I think) they go to secondary school and suddenly people have peanut butter sandwiches and that experience crippling anxiety because they've never learned how to be safe around their allergen.”
@CelesteCunningham you are right ,this has actually been identified as an issue in research with people with peanut allergy, as their anxiety response to being around peanuts and their fear of airborne risk is actually more triggering of symptoms than what is triggered by the peanuts themselves… “AbstractBackground: Allergic reactions to food allergens usually occur after ingestion. However, fear of reactions to airborne peanut is a common concern for people with peanut allergy. There are no scientific reports on severe reactions with airborne peanut allergen.”

There’s a big misunderstanding that allergies can be serious or mild. Reactions can be serious or mild, but someone can have mild reactions to an allergen and then without warning have anaphylaxis. All allergies are potentially fatal.

School don’t have to disclose if or which child has an allergy, in fact they aren’t allowed to due to GDPR legislation. They can’t even say there’s a kid in the class with an allergy because of the potential for identifying them. You don’t have a right to know other people’s medical history, but that shouldn’t be a requirement for you to follow a request like this.

Yes I've seen that before.

I once saw a woman incensed that a man was feeding nuts to the squirrels in the park. That's not a healthy level of anxiety to be passing on to her DC and I suspect stems from nut free schools and a false sense of security, and then poor risk assessment in the real world.

Your child may have a right to state provided education but a nut allergy does not confer any additional rights that infringe on or over-ride anyone elses rights.

If you were THAT concerned you have the option of home education but that would start to inconvenience you and I think you would baulk at that, wouldn't you?

Don't you think then, that it's strange that not only do all the main allergy charities not only not lobby for "free from" schools, but actively advise against this policy? If there was evidence that this type of strategy did actually save lives then one would surely expect the organisations who promote allergy awareness/safety would be pushing this agenda. But they don't. Because it's not the best approach.
The false sense of security doesn't only apply to the children, it applies to the staff too. It's impossible to police a free from policy 100% consistently and it's more dangerous to think that your school is nut/seed/whatever free than to acknowledge that it isn't and learn how to manage that. I mean obviously you'd expect them to be sensible about it - I'd not be impressed if my DS's class had been asked to make nut roast in a cookery lesson for instance - but you cannot eliminate allergens completely and consistently.
My DS had his first anaphylactic reaction when he was less than 2 years old and by the time he came to start school we had identified a further 5 potentially life threatening allergens so I was initially quite alarmed to discover that the school didn't have a "free from" policy. But both his Consultant and everything I have read from reputable sources reassures me that this is in fact the most sensible approach.

My god though it must be an absolute fucking nightmare as a parent to have a child with an allergy that could kill them at any time. I don’t think I’d ever sleep for the worry of it.

@LauraNorda

What an absolutely ridiculous response. I'm sorry, but you clearly don't have a child with an allergy (and you also seem to be lacking empathy).

Do you think most working parents are able to home school?

Schools keep children with food allergies safe, in a similar way to how they help those with SEN and how they care for kids with other medical issues like asthma. It is very achievable.

Even if parents could home educate, would this be a suitable education and life experience, equal to that of the child's peers, regardless of who the home educator is?

Why would kids need to take skincare products or cosmetics into school? They are only there for a few hours a day.

You can’t guarantee a ‘whatever allergen’ free school. It’s not possible. Look at what happens when schools ban junk food. Parents would pack the stuff just because they’ve been told not to.

My comment was just offering a reason as to why some schools choose to go nut free. It’s easier for them to manage as a blanket approach.

I’ve taught in nut free and non nut free schools. Parents put what they want into lunch boxes and no one is checking them as they come through the door. Add that to ‘May contain nuts’ which is now on virtually everything.

I’m not campaigning for an ‘x allergen’ free school. Like I’ve said, my 3 year old knows he can’t eat food from other people (unless it’s me or his dad, or nursery) and as he grows up we will continue to help him manage his allergy, but at the same time school have a duty of care to prevent those children with allergies being exposed to them. So far only one hospital admission and I want to keep it that way.

Airborne allergies are less common (I hesitate to say rare because there’s a question about how much of this is down to careful allergy management in limiting exposure) but do exist. How schools choose to do that is up to them. No one has to follow school rules. If people don’t like them they are free to send their kids elsewhere.

@Ontarioontario yes, I've read quite a lot about airborne allergies and it seems as if there is very little evidence to support the idea yet it's widely believed to be a common problem. I'm sure it's not impossible but certainly not as common as is believed. It's now thought the majority of in flight reactions to nuts/peanuts have not been airborne at all, but due to residue on seats, tray tables etc. Turn around times are so short these days that proper cleaning isn't done very often, so a peanut allergy sufferer is probably more at risk if someone ate a bag of peanuts in their seat on the flight before than from a passenger in another part of the plane opening a bag on the same flight. Cleaning the seat, especially the arms, and tray table is probably the most important thing to do to prevent in flight reactions.

But even if the school is nut free, there will be parents who will not (or cannot) comply with that. And what if a child does bring nuts and no one notices. I mean that must happen loads.

You are relying on other, unknown people to guarantee your child’s safety. How does anyone get on with their life with that over their head? I’d want my child in a plastic bubble. What a nightmare.

Ok yes, sorry I misunderstood your point.
I agree that some schools probably see it as an easy way to be "safe". I hesitate to say it's a lazy approach as I am sure some schools put a lot of resources into trying to police such policies but it has crossed my mind that some might see it as a "well we told all the parents, that's our responsibility dealt with" type thing. I think a large primary school is probably the most difficult setting to manage and I can see why a ban would be attractive to the staff, but its also the type of environment where a "free from" policy is most likely to fail and cause a problem.

How is it ridiculous?

Mainstream school. The clue is in the name. Schools that cater for the overwhelming majoritys needs (>97%). Those that cannot attend mainstream school, such as the severely disabled go to special schools that can meet their needs.

If your child has a potentially fatal reaction to common things like nuts, dairy, wheat etc, that seems to me to be the very definition of disabled. Apply for DLA and get them into a special school that caters for them.

But no, you won't do that, will you? You just palm them off to the nearest school, then start demanding that everyone else bend to suit their needs and stamp your foot in a temper tantrum when anyone objects. Thats the very definition of selfish. Making everyone change things just to suit one.

You wouldn't want your child in a bubble though, because there's zero quality of life in that. It's like anything else in parenting, it's your job to teach them to be safe and risk assess. So you teach them to check labels or ask a trusted adult, only leave them with adults you trust who know how to use the epipens, ensure the meds are always with them.

What you don't want to do is give them any sense of an allergen free world - because when they're 14 and their friends want to go to Five Guys, they need to be able to advocate for themselves.

Some children will have skin conditions which means they have to have medicated skin stuff applied during the day (although at primary school I’ve always known it to be kept with all the other medication and given only when they need it, not carried round by the child).

Castor oil is not a nut, it’s a vegetable oil. It’s not one of the major allergens, and I can’t find any references to it causing severe allergic reactions if it’s just in the room, so I think the school is over/reacting unless there is a child with that specific allergy and it’s a severe allergy (as opposed to contact dermatitis).

She will be fine to use the products at home. My kid has a tree nut allergy, but has to eat peanuts regularly to prevent further allergies. She eats peanuts virtually every morning for breakfast, and has a kid in her class with airborne anaphylactic reactions to peanuts, and it’s never caused an issue. I make her wash her hands and face before school though.

We welcome a nut free school policy. We don’t assume that the school is completely nut free and as my son has multiple allergies we know that his other allergens are present. We teach him safe practice around his allergens constantly. It does reduce the risk for him though and we appreciate everyone who participates in that risk reduction.

He does not have anxiety when around his allergens and we have never promised him that his surroundings are allergen free. There is a lot of misunderstanding around allergies and how to manage the risks for individuals.

You are woefully unaware of the life of an allergy parent.

If your kid reacted to nuts in the room, would you be happier to send them to school knowing there’s a no “nut policy” that might occasionally get broken by a parent who’s forgotten, or would you rather send them in knowing that there will definitely be that nut in someone’s lunchbox.

Nut free schools keep children safer whilst they are learning to keep themselves safe. It’s a process.

Are you suggesting I'm throwing a temper tantrum? That's uncalled for and rude.

I advocate for my child and expect nothing from other people because I know from experience the vast majority don't have a deep enough understanding of allergies to keep him safe.

My son has severe eczema, asthma and 14 life threatening allergies. Guess what? He does not qualify for DLA. Educate yourself before commenting.

I think this is a slight over reaction!

@LauraNorda (forgot to tag)

Except that there's no evidence that rates of serious reactions are lower in nut free schools.

Yeah I know I am. I never said otherwise. My post was coming from a place of incredulity that people have to live that way. That’s all.

As pointed out by @MrsAvocet allergen bans are not a recommended approach.

Allergy UK who have written a model allergy school policy with leading allergist paediatricians on how best to support children with allergies in schools.

https://www.allergyuk.org/living-with-an-allergy/at-school/for-schools/#:~:text=Many%20parents%20and%20schools%20try,snacks%20brought%20in%20from%20home.

Many parents and schools try to implement a ‘ban’ certain foods (such as nuts) from school premises. However, we do not recommend a ‘no nut policy’ in schools, as it is not possible to guarantee and enforce a nut free zone, as staff cannot monitor all lunches and snacks brought in from home. A free from environment creates a false sense of security and does not safely prepare children for environments where nuts may be present. School would need to consider other children with different food allergies and it is not practical to restrict them all. Therefore, school’s should have procedures in place to minimise risk of reaction via cross contamination.

I don't have a child with a nut allergy! I never said I did. I'm just one of those people who genuinely cares about other people's children (and I'm a primary school teacher, so have experience in managing the safety of children with allergies).

I will repeat that the right to being safe at school is more important than the right to have nuts in your lunchbox, and I would find it very hard to respect anyone who believed otherwise.

Edited to add: Your response to @Alloveragain3 was really quite alarming- is there any reason you're being so angry and aggressive in your comments, and making quite so many assumptions about other people's lives?