School allergy policy and cosmetics - AIBU to think this is overkill?

[Areolaborealis]

DD has extremely dry skin and hair, and after trying various chemical-laden and expensive products, we've found using natural oils in the bath to be the most effective management (rapeseed, coconut, and castor oil usually). We've been doing this for years.

DD9's school has a very strict no nuts and seeds policy that has recently been extended to cosmetics. After a recent bag inspection, DDs moisturiser was sent home because it contained castor oil (I actually didnt realise this). I have no issue with not sending this to school but it got me thinking about whether it's irresponsible to still use these oils at home given that she will presumably take traces into school with her. FWIW, there are no known nut, seed, coconut or castor allergies in her class but I don't know about the rest of the school. I hate the idea of sending DD into school covered in an allergen but I'm not sure how much I want this policy to dictate what we use at home. DD has become anxious about this and has started checking all our product ingredients.

AIBU to think this is overkill?

You must accept that there are things they cannot do and places they cannot go to

Yes, but school is not one of those places. All children in this country have a right to a state-provided education, and that is far more important than someone else's right to have nuts in their lunchbox.

Guarantee your response would be different if you watched your young child be excluded from things due to severe allergies that they cannot control!

No nuts in lunchboxes is reasonable, but it goes too far when things like dairy and creams are banned. My dd has prescribed creams, and she only has one type of reasonably priced suncream she can have. I’ve not looked at the ingredients but she will be taking those to school regardless as she needs them for her own medical condition. It’s not always reasonable to expect others to avoid allergens in places like schools.

I'd like to see you repeat this statement if you had to watch your child's airways begin to close up!

Why is no dairy too far? Some people are allergic to dairy- is so hard to have a dairy-free lunchbox? Your kids can glug milk by the gallon at home if they want to.

Any why does your daughter only have one type of suncream she can use? Is she allergic to the others, by any chance? Do you not see the irony of insisting your daughter's medical condition is more important than those of other children, including those which are potentially fatal?

She is yes, but the difference is that we wouldn’t insist others don’t use different suncreams. We use the one she can have. Dairy is too far because it is an important part of children’s diets and for families in low incomes alternative lunchbox items are very expensive, and in some cases schools are the only places they get adequate nutrition. Also if both dairy and nuts are banned, what cheap, quick and readily accessible alternatives are suitable for vegetarians?

And no it’s not more important, but it is important and she will be having her medication at school as prescribed by her doctor, and obviously she will be wearing her sunscreen.

Allergy uk actually discourage these sorts of bans, including nut bans. Its poor practice. The world has allergens everywhere, and its really important for people to learn good practices like not sharing food, checking packets and washing hands, than assuming they live in a safe bubble & can let their guard down.

Airborne allergies are actually really, really rare so the idea that people will suffer a severe reaction simply from being in a room with an allergen is overkill.

What cosmetics or creams ate allowed, what do the staff use.

I mean how on earth would a moisturising cream even get aerosolized through normal use and you wouldn't expect cosmetics to be shared or ingested

Barmy

It's only one meal, plenty of dairy free and vegan products are available.

Why is no dairy too far? Some people are allergic to dairy- is so hard to have a dairy-free lunchbox? Your kids can glug milk by the gallon at home if they want to.

Read the advice on allergy uk. Banning foodstuffs in schools is not best practise.

Better to promote food checking, clear labelling, good standards in food preparation, no sharing and handwashing. The world is full of dairy, nuts, gluten, soy, seeds, anything can be an allergen and its better to learn how to live safely with it.

OP - from the Allergy Uk website :

‘No nut’ policies and allergen bans

Many parents and schools try to implement a ‘ban’ certain foods (such as nuts) from school premises. However, we do not recommend a ‘no nut policy’ in schools, as it is not possible to guarantee and enforce a nut free zone, as staff cannot monitor all lunches and snacks brought in from home. A free from environment creates a false sense of security and does not safely prepare children for environments where nuts may be present. School would need to consider other children with different food allergies and it is not practical to restrict them all. Therefore, school’s should have procedures in place to minimise risk of reaction via cross contamination.

Exactly, allergen bans aren't the way to go for the vast majority of children with allergies, including those with anaphylaxis.

I have a DD with a peanut allergy, I think it's important she learns the sensible precautions to keep herself safe at a young age. If we were to make home, school and after school club completely peanut free I would worry about her making the adjustment as she grows.

This particular case with the cosmetics is well worth a friendly chat with school.

Which many are more expensive and so not good for low income families, and also lots of vegan products contain nuts. Then what about the other allergies which are common? Eggs, gluten, soya? What if there’s a nut allergy, dairy allergy, soya allergy and a celiac? Which is more important? Surely all allergens or none should be banned, and it wouldn’t be possible for all to be banned.

‘Reasonable adjustments’ are not bringing nuts into school in your lunchbox. Not policing what shampoo and moisturiser someone uses at home. If the child really is THAT allergic that they will react if someone has moisturised with castor oil the day before, I agree with pp that they shouldn’t be in mainstream school, sorry.

Families on low incomes will be entitled to FSMs, and beans are an excellent source of protein. I do agree these measures should only be taken in schools where children have airborne allergies, but if they need to be taken, they should be.

My response was based on the poster insinuating that parents are selfish to try to prevent their children being exposed to an allergen that could kill them.

Come back when your child has been blue lighted to hospital because someone thought having a nutty snack or cosmetics were more important than not potentially killing the person next to them.

When this happens we have to use inhalers, inject our child twice with adrenaline, give them antihistamines and call 999, while fucking PRAYING (whether we believe or not, it’s amazing how quickly you find a belief in God when it’s life or death) it’s enough to keep them alive. This doesn’t stop the allergy, it just buys us time to get our child to hospital where hopefully they don’t die. It’s not the same or in any way comparable to managing ASD sensory issues. I genuinely couldn’t care less if you think my response was rude.

‘Reasonably priced’ I’ve heard it all now. What monetary value do you find acceptable? I’m just curious to know how much my child’s life would be worth to you, and how much exactly is too expensive if it puts another child at risk?

Haven't RDTFT but you're definitely not BU.

My DS has many anaphylactic food allergies and I'd never expect this level of "protection".

Frustratingly, he's highly allergic to dairy (anaphylaxis from it being steamed nearby and hives if it touches skin) and it wouldn't ever be removed as a food source. I completely understand why. However, it then does frustrate me that a school is banning castor oil!!

There's a thing called "peanut privilege" whereby nuts (and sometimes seeds) are actively prioritised over other allergens. Quite unfair as dairy is actually the food responsible for most anaphylaxis deaths in under 18s.

However many schools are nut free because having a child die on premises is far worse than creating a false sense of security.

Completely agree with this.

The way to throw a bomb into any peanut/nut allergy group is to state (truthfully!) that you're very grateful your child's allergy is to peanuts as they're so easily avoided.

The misapprehension that nut and peanut allergies are more severe or special does my head in.

That level of milk allergy must be very difficult to live with.

And when they go to secondary school and unthinkingly take a bite of their friend's lunch because they're accustomed to only being around safe foods?

Or (and this is a very legitimate risk I think) they go to secondary school and suddenly people have peanut butter sandwiches and that experience crippling anxiety because they've never learned how to be safe around their allergen.

By the time they are at secondary school they are old enough to understand they can’t do this and why not.

No one is saying don’t teach your kids how to be safe, you are being deliberately obtuse here. Mine isn’t even at school yet and he knows he can’t just take food from anyone. We are broken records about this because we don’t want our children to die. He only has safe food everywhere he goes because due to his age we and nursery can manage this, yet he still knows.

None of the allergic kids I taught had ‘crippling anxiety’ about their allergy. Their parents have been drumming it into them from a young age because we know that the general public will use any excuse whatsoever rather than accept allergies kill and just try to be a bit considerate when in contact with allergy sufferers.

If someone has a very severe allergy which could be fatal then I absolutely think every student should refrain from using that product but not a blanket ban just in case.