Do I lend him the money???

[Strawberryshortgirl]

My boyfriend of 2 years is starting up a new business and has contracts lined up to be started in the next month or so. So he should see payment by end of Q3 this year. In the meantime his savings have been used up and he’s basically ran out of money to support himself. We have both been very careful over the past year, knowing he is setting up the new business, to keep his expenses low and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. We don’t live together.

So now comes the hard part, he can’t afford anything at this point, can’t pay his rent or bills or child support. I have some spare savings. He wants to borrow a reasonably large amount of this until the business pays out. AIBU to hand over the cash to him for a few months? I find the entire this confusing as I’ve never lent money like this before.

Don't lend him any money! It's been 2 years and your relationship seems to go backwards, you're not going out or enjoying a new relationship.

It's completely irresponsible to stop working without a safe plan. Most people I know who start a business keep working their day jobs, do both jobs for awhile until the business is making money. He stopped working for a full year without a back up plan. Then, he has a child to support, how couldn't he think of that?

I don't see your relationship working, he will be too stressed and leave you without paying you back. No way I would sponsor all his payments. Time for a new boyfriend.

Don't be daft. It's too big a risk. You have to ask yourself why no one else will lend him money.

"However, if he has proper signed contracts due later this year, you could take ownership of these, get the money paid into your account, and then pay him whatever remains after he has paid you back."

What incentive does he have to work if the payment is going to someone else and he's only paid money after he's paid back the loan? He can't currently meet his obligations so this arrangement is of no benefit to him at all unless it is generating thousands a month in profits - which it won't be.

Then there are the practical issues of such a deal. Who issues invoices and chases for payment? Who does the business books and pays VAT, insurances, Tax and NI etc? Who is liable if he fucks up the work?

Neither the OP or her boyfriend appear to have the faintest idea about finances and business.

He's set up a business without planning properly... No business plan ever says run out of money and sponge off girl friend.

He's maybe not deliberately bad but this is a situation that will turn to shit for you very quickly.

Say no.

When he reacts badly you have your answer as to where you are in his thoughts.

You'd need to be careful about how that is set up or you could end up jointly liable for the businesses debts. Is he a sole trader or has set up a limited company? Shares in the later should be fine, but Id still check with a lawyer that works in the relevant area of law.

I think you need to read up on boundaries in relationships and think about what you want. In the first couple of years you ought to be doing some fun stuff, not buying him food, staying in, and working out how to subsidise him paying for his children. And him having some unfunded pipe dream which he presumably thinks will be the answer to all his problems. It won't.

😂😂😂

No I dont think I would. Its too big a risk. Why cant he get a bank loan.

4.5 months before any payment ?!?!

I wouldn't lend him a pot to piss in.

Absolutely not. You are not his wife and you don't live together.
Has he had a business before?
I'm thinking not or he would not have ended up in this situation.
Your kids are not his problem.
If you have children of your own absolutely not.
You will be the last person he pays back if it all goes Pete Tong - trust me I have experience of this, not me because I don't lend money but lots of friends.
You have no obligation to do this.
He needs to ask his parents or relatives before he asks you. He could dump you tomorrow and you'll never see that money again.
Its a huge red flag.

This hasn't suddenly happened to him. He would have known his money was running out and got a job.

Contracts paying at end of Qtr 3 could be September or October. He needs rent now.

Tell him to get a job. He can do the business part time.

Do not lend money you cannot afford to lose.

Me too- it's frustrating! But end of the day, it is her that will end up losing her savings so there will be consequences. It doesnt affect us in the slightest, thankfully.

He sounds totally irresponsible and unable to plan.

What about his kids and ex if he's not paying CS? The poor buggers. They're paying the price and no doubt so are you.

It's a BIG NO here (although I realise that could spell the end of your relationship).

Don't you ever watch Judge Judy OP?

NO

Absolutely not. You’ve had to curtail expenses for half of your relationship and he can’t now pay basic expenses? That’s not someone with a decent business head on him.
Legal agreements or not, you’ll not see that money again.

The only way I'd be helping would be if I could see him working 3 jobs to get some cash in and I may then loan him a few hundred to bridge the shortfall. However I couldn't watch him sitting on his arse while I funded him in a start up business that may or may not work. What was his plan if he didn't have a girlfriend with savings?

Oh yes and you are not "a couple". You are not married, you don't live with him and you don't have children together. You are a girlfriend.
He didn't plan properly and now its all falling apart - what makes you think he'll pay you back?

I have four jobs, one of which is a business which pre-pandemic made good money, the three other jobs help me afford to live. It’s perfectly possible to run a business and have a part time job, or three in my case!

Bloody hell some women are so gullible it gives me a panic attack.

The thing is if you do get him to sign a loan agreement for any amount you lend him and it all goes wrong, you still might not get your money back if he has no income or goes bankrupt. A court might agree that you are owed the money, you might even get a regular payment but that might be a very small monthly amount.

To me what is more pertinent is that he seems to have no idea about business and no business plan. If he did he would have realised he was going to run out of money before he’s even started. He clearly doesn’t have a clue and wants you to risk your savings while he figures it out. (If he figures it out).

Let him do what everyone else has to do- get a job that will pay enough for him to build up his start up costs

Don't tell him you have savings

That will mean absolutely nothing when he’s spent the cash and doesn’t have it to pay back…

No, absolutely not.
The bank doesn't think he's a reliable enough prospect because he doesn't have any income.
If banks and other lenders won't lend to someone that is because they have failed credit checks. That means they think the person will default on the loan. Therefore if you lend him the money, most likely he will default on the loan.

Do you own your own property? Please be careful that he doesn't do a hobosexual on you. Poor thing gets evicted by the landlord because he can't pay the rent. So you let him move in with him because you can't see him homeless. Even though maybe you aren't ready to live together and don't want to. It'll be only for a short time until he gets back on his feet, he says.
Except he never really gets back on his feet because he's supposedly waiting for the business to bring in money but it never does. Then he slides into depression (or says he's sliding into depression), can't work on the business and can't apply for other jobs because of his mental health.

And there you have it, a full blown hobosexual/cocklodger.

Just say no to the loan. And no to moving in.

Please don’t. You’re sleep walking into a disaster. Sounds like for a long time now he’s been sponging off you to live his dream. It’s not your responsibility to fund this. It’s very worrying you feel this is almost a test or condition of your relationship. Money should never be something you have to give to someone so they are with you.
He needs to get a job.
You are feeling pressured to do this as you feel it’s urgent but consider this: why has he let it get to this stage? The answer is, he’s used to you bailing him out.
Do not give him money. He could dump you tomorrow and you’d get nothing back

I did this with my first partner. Paid all of our living costs plus materials for his business/petrol etc etc. I eventually became fed up with it all. It wasn’t that he wasn’t working, which is what your work shy chap has done but he never got paid for that work in a timely fashion and wanted me to help do that as well as me working over time to keep us.

Ultimately, we didn’t work out. I never got a penny back.