Do I lend him the money???

[Strawberryshortgirl]

My boyfriend of 2 years is starting up a new business and has contracts lined up to be started in the next month or so. So he should see payment by end of Q3 this year. In the meantime his savings have been used up and he’s basically ran out of money to support himself. We have both been very careful over the past year, knowing he is setting up the new business, to keep his expenses low and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. We don’t live together.

So now comes the hard part, he can’t afford anything at this point, can’t pay his rent or bills or child support. I have some spare savings. He wants to borrow a reasonably large amount of this until the business pays out. AIBU to hand over the cash to him for a few months? I find the entire this confusing as I’ve never lent money like this before.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Please do not do this, far too much risk involved. Tell him to get a business loan, that's what banks are for, not girlfriends. In fact, he should have done this initially, so that he wouldn't be in his current situation ie unable to pay for absolute fundamentals like child support and rent payments. His priorities are way off, another reason not to lend him money (that you may never see again, don't forget)

Sorry have read the thread, but not every comment.

Start up loan ?

https://www.startuploans.co.uk/

Not until Hell freezes over and the camels come skating home

My thinking too.
Pie in the sky

@Strawberryshortgirl

His family don’t have anything to lend him. I feel I can’t just let him fall apart when I can do something to help.

€€€€€€
And what happens when he's burnt through your money.
Did he do a business plan?

If he isn't in a position to pay his child support do you really think he will prioritise paying back his loan to you if he does get some money in his pocket?

People get business loans for businesses they haven't started yet, they just need a solid business plan, not proof of income.

I would tell him to speak to a bank. If he can't get a loan, tell him to get a credit card.

Does he have family that could help? I would say he should ask his parents or siblings before he asked you (although I appreciate not everyone has parents or siblings, and even those who do may not have parents or siblings willing/able to help).

Why can't he get a job? Any job to make a living while setting this up?
How long have you known him for?
Can you write down a witnessed and signed agreement if things don't work out that guarantees you will get your money.

I am not sure why he won't work.

It scares me how many women fall for these gold digging men.

I do get a feeling that if I were to say no that he would think I’m just letting him fail and not supporting him or being there for him in a way a couple should be.

This is a massive red flag.

If you give him this money you will never see him or the money again.

In a nutshell you need to decide if you'd rather lose your relationship or your money. Because if you refuse, I think its highly likely it will be the death knoll. He thinks you should agree or he wouldn't have asked, so he almost certainly will complain of a lack of support/ faith in him and so on.
Whereas if you agree there's a reasonable chance you'll never see your money again, because financial literacy doesn't appear to be a strength of his. In this scenario you could also lose your relationship because if he burns through your savings too and can't repay you, you may be a lot less keen on him.
In your shoes, given his failure to plan so he had a contingency that would at least mean he could eat, the fact you're only two years in, and that he asked rather than wait for you to offer, it would be a no.

Can you write down a witnessed and signed agreement if things don't work out that guarantees you will get your money

It wont "guarantee" anything. If he goes bankrupt or gets an IVA she wont get that money back. If she has to take him to court it will likely cost more to do than the loan amount.

How much is he asking for?

Quite. He is allowing himself to fail. No one else. Failing to plan is planning to fail. Simple as that, really.

Jesus F Christ. There are more red flags here than a Chinese bunting.

The OP hasn’t come back because a) she’s already lent him a frightening amount of money or b) she’s terrified if she says no then he will dump her.

to the OP, I would ask, why will you not disclose the amount he’s asking for? And also why won’t you say what his business is?

you know, and we all know this is a shit business idea and the amount is outrageous.

Just fucking dump him, you can thank me later. You have so many internal alarms going off but you keep snoozing them.

Don't lend more than you could happily afford to lose - preferably don't lend at all as he'll likely just come back for more. I believe all the warnings on here are right - and most likely your gut instinct is telling you the same although you are trying to find excuses for him. Don't do it.
(And who was going to pay the solicitors to draw up a legal agreement - you? - and you think that could be enforced??)

Universal credit in the first instance he needs some money for rent and food and they'll help with this
I'm not sure if I would lend the money to be honest it would depend on how much and having a agreement in place I do understand why you want to help but make sure you're prepared he might not pay you back and that's a risk only you can decide

I'm sorry, but definitely not.

He should have thought/planned for these contingencies.

What a f*cking idiot he is he's bankrupted himself and he wants to soak up all your savings

I don't think it's wrong to want to help, but if you do, you should be aware that you may not see the money again and accept that risk.

What? Universal Credit? For someone who has deliberately given up a job and burnt through their savings following a pipedream that they are not equipped to succeed with?

People have been advising the OP not to bankroll this loser who is prepared to let his child suffer financially, and now you think the rest of us should bankroll him instead by paying him UC! He can get a job if he doesn’t fancy being homeless and hungry, he had one before he squandered it.

Do you have children? Why would you risk their future and put them in potential poverty for a man with a non viable business that even his own family or banks won’t lend to? It’s not a true business investment, since your loan is not being used to enhance the income potential in any way such as buying assets. Your reasons are purely emotional.

Also the relationship will most likely finish too once the business folds, adding to the difficulty of getting your money back. And finding a new relationship again may also be a challenge, as good quality matches tend to prefer to only date financially independent people. Someone who took risks and lost their savings to a previous boyfriend without thinking it through would be quite off putting tbh.

What would he do if he didn’t have you? Or if you didn’t have your savings? Because whatever the answer is that’s what he needs to be doing.

Draw up a proper loan agreement. I borrowed money of an investment held by me and my sisters. I had a lawyer draw it up so they knew they would get paid back.

What guarantee do you have that the business will ever 'pay out'?

Nooooooo!

If someone has no money, then all the legally binding agreements in the world cannot cause them to pay it out to someone else.

There needs to be some form of security, a guarantor, some assets, something - and so far it appears this man has none.

So no matter how water-tight an agreement might be, he cannot pay her back if things flop, and it very much sounds like they will.

He also has other demands on his money, child maintenance, other debts and they will take priority over a private loan agreement, so even if there were any money in the kitty, which there is not, OP would always be bottom of the pile to get paid back.