Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

[Sugarandmoresugar10]

I had a first date with someone yesterday after work, it's someone I've already met as a friend of a friend, and we've always got on very well/I felt chemistry.
The date was about 2 hours, a drink and very quick bite to eat. Conversation flowed super well, we had a good laugh. I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest, but I have felt that attraction previously so I'm willing to give it a try.

So he made comments about wanting to do it again, I agreed, and I sent a casual, good to see you, hope you got back ok. The convo naturally ended .

Wondering if I should hint at meeting him again? There are a ton of films coming out that we were both talking about that are out this month.
Should I text something like 'It'd be cool to see one of those films we talked about soon'

So to imply I want to see him, but it still lets him arrange details?
Or is that chasing/desperate?
I'm pretty paranoid now tbh, but I'm also paranoid that he got a vibe I didn't find him that attractive, even if I do like him.

Dear lord some of these views!

OP I am nearly 40 and have had three proper relationships in my life, including current DH. In all three cases I did the initial asking out and in all three cases they were mega flattered and happy about it (I was already pretty sure they liked me at that point!).

Just for avoidance of doubt those are the only three guys I've asked out! I'm not some predator going around asking out every half decent looking man I come across 😆

Forget the outdated stereotypes and go for it!. Good luck 😊

Same!

This is derailing OPs thread so please feel free to bring your comments to the other thread. I've already explained why I would question the MN stats. It would be strange not to question stats.

Really? I’ve asked men out on several occasions (albeit some time ago). I would leave it a couple more days then send a lighthearted text with a movie suggestion.

I'd give it a week, then send it.

It's not a male/female stereotypes thing, it's an economic thing. The (apparently) scarcer the commodity, the more desirable it becomes!

OP, I wonder if he's sitting at home thinking 'I really like her and I'd like to see her over the weekend, but she'll probably think I'm desperate if I contact her within a week, so I'll just let it go...' I imagine a lot of relationships fall apart because people think there are rules and women are told to be cool and let men do the asking. Sod that. Stop playing mind games.

Send a text saying 'I want to see XXXXX on Sunday do you want to come?' If he says he can't make Sunday but could do Tuesday, do Tuesday. If he says he can't make Sunday and leaves it there, you say 'I could do Tuesday if that's easier for you'. Value yourself as someone it would be good to go and see a film with. If he says no and doesn't set up another date, you'll have your answer — he's just not that into you. Nothing will have been broken or ruined, you'll just know where you stand.

Me woman you man, you have to pursue little me.

It’s this bullshit that ends in a #metoo movement.

I asked my husband out on almost every date, because that’s what I wanted so I communicated that to him. I have no doubt that he loves me as much as (and maybe more) than I do him.

I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants games and chasing and cryptic communications and so if he wasn’t into my communication style then I wasn’t into him.

In your shoes, I’d say “it’d be great to see X movie together. Shall we try and get something in the diary?”

I wouldn’t have sent a thing. If a man is interested, he’ll do the chasing.

" but apparently women should never ask men out in the early stages or even text first, from what I've read :("

That's absolute rubbish - why ever not?

I rang my now-DH the day after our first very drunken get together, and here we are 23 years and 2 kids later.....

Right I've sent it, and it's a no sadly.
Not an outright no, but a busy with no suggestion of an alternative. Ah well :(
Kinda wish I'd never sent it but it's too late.

If a guy hasn't got the interest/initiative/impetus to set up a date off his own bat, then how will he deal with initiating anything in the future?

Passive man never change.

They expect you to organise everything.

But hopefully, it's not a no because I asked him. It's a no because he was never interested.. hopefully..

This with bells on. If you're interested go for it!

I'm disappointed :(

I would have thought that if he was interested he wouldn't have said no for any reason.

I'd wait a few days!

If that was the case then he really is not worth seeing again anyway. Honestly, I can’t stress that enough.

Hopefully true, but I feel like most men think this way now, even in their 30s and beyond :(

Sorry to hear that OP but at least you know now.

Myself and DH saw each other every day from our first date. We texted and met up and told each other how much we were interested. We will be married 18 years this year. No games played just being true to our feelings. Its hard if it isnt returned but better to know from the start.

Sorry to hear that OP! :(
At least now you have clarity rather than sitting around wondering if he's going to text you which is frankly maddening.

He's obviously not the right guy for you (and nothing to do with your casual suggestion to see a film!), so onwards and upwards. <3

Sorry you are disappointed - logically if he was interested in you - he'd have said yes or suggested an alternative. If not - he'll make excuses.

I don't think sending the text will have mattered other than save you a week of waiting for a communication and then another week of wondering what went wrong / should you have texted earlier etc!

You weren't sure you were attracted to him anyway so dating him had a high potential to be a waste of your time!

At least you know that he's not interested

Tbh if he were interested I think he'd have suggested something definite in your text / WhatsApp chat immediately after the first date

Onwards and upwards