Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

[Sugarandmoresugar10]

I had a first date with someone yesterday after work, it's someone I've already met as a friend of a friend, and we've always got on very well/I felt chemistry.
The date was about 2 hours, a drink and very quick bite to eat. Conversation flowed super well, we had a good laugh. I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest, but I have felt that attraction previously so I'm willing to give it a try.

So he made comments about wanting to do it again, I agreed, and I sent a casual, good to see you, hope you got back ok. The convo naturally ended .

Wondering if I should hint at meeting him again? There are a ton of films coming out that we were both talking about that are out this month.
Should I text something like 'It'd be cool to see one of those films we talked about soon'

So to imply I want to see him, but it still lets him arrange details?
Or is that chasing/desperate?
I'm pretty paranoid now tbh, but I'm also paranoid that he got a vibe I didn't find him that attractive, even if I do like him.

Send it. Why not. We worry over trivia! Just do it🌈

Send the text on Monday that doesn't look desperate

Why shouldn’t a woman text first? I’d send it, you’re not asking him to marry you. Just giving him the option of going to the cinema if he wants to.

If you want to see him again, send the text. Lot of nonsense waiting for the guy to make contact, that’s so old fashioned. As long as you’re not declaring undying love after 1st date, definitely make contact. Good luck!

I don't see a problem with this at all. You will know one way or another by his response. He may well be thinking the same? Good luck! Xx

I did exactly this 30 years ago ( well it was a phone call not a text). And yes, it worked out well for me. Very well. Go for it!

I'm sorry OP but are you a teenager?

You keep saying how you being nice or sending a polite text etc etc messed things up. As an adult, you would surely understand these sort of things shouldn't be messing 'budding off relationships' up?

Everyone commenting on this thread now and saying 'send it', can you not see the date this thread was created?

There's also a function on Mumsnet where you can read all OPs updates.

If I liked someone I’d be sending that text it’s hardly desperate you go girl

It's taken me years (I'm now late 40s) to get to the stage where I don't fuck around waiting for someone to text me or overthinking. If I like someone I text them and that's the end of it. It isn't always successful but it prevents me getting into a tizz and wasting precious time and energy on all the does he like me or not stuff. If someone doesn't like being asked by me and is put off by that then the whole thing is on a hiding to nothing.

Well done for asking him. Yes, it's disappointing, but now you know, so you can move on from it.

Don't be disappointed OP. Sending the text would not have put him off. You have simply saved yourself a lot of time and a lot of wondering by cutting to the chase.

Send the text. Take the initiative. It's 2024!

Don't let him know you went on Mumsnet to ask

I would send the text if you feel,you would like to see him again.

Goodness me, do people not even bother to read the ops updates.

You haven't messed up OP. It's not weird to send a text like that. You can't control what other people think. You haven't done anything odd or off-putting.

I know! Driving me mad 😂

It's not desperate to ask for a date 2!!

Just prepare yourself that he might not want a second date and that is ok. You've probably tuned down second dates too. Better to ask him and then you'll either go on another date with someone you like, or you'll know to move on with the next one- don't over think it!

There's been 340+ replies, do you not think the thread has moved on?

Fucking hell. Why comment if you're not even interested enough to read the OP's updates?

Courtship is a game, of course it is. In every species it is. It is about display and appearances, it is a kind of magic.
so you have already sent him a friendly text didn’t you say? And he hasn’t responded so you want to send him another? It’s hard. It’s really tough to sit on your hands and be patient, but I would. If you want the magic to begin.
If he doesn’t contact you it is either because he doesn’t want to take it further or ? What? That he is too shy? Mmm …give it a week at least

I absolutely can't fathom how it comes to pass that a poster hasn't noticed at least one of the following:

1. The date of the OP
2. There is a "see all" function to read an OP's follow up posts
3. The number of pages' worth of replies since!

Any of which offer a clue that perhaps "it's 2024 go for it" etc might not be the most relevant or in any way original comment by now!

Ok lessons to take away:
You are thinking too much instead of feeling. This is one of the best bits of relationship advice I ever got: How do they make you feel? You were not attracted to him, and you ignored your own feeling because you were thinking maybe it had potential in other ways. You must listen to your feelings. The right situation will feel safe and comfortable.

You should not have texted him or invited him out after the date because the fact you were questioning whether to do so meant that you had picked up on the fact that it would be unwelcome. When you're having to question yourself in this way it's not the right situation

@Sugarandmoresugar10 Don't let this let down stop you from doing the same in future. Why not just say if you like someone. I went out with 13 men I met online before meeting my DH, some you click with, some you don't. It feels shitty when you think you've clicked but they don't, but keep your head held high and move on. Bigger and better things await.