Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

[Sugarandmoresugar10]

I had a first date with someone yesterday after work, it's someone I've already met as a friend of a friend, and we've always got on very well/I felt chemistry.
The date was about 2 hours, a drink and very quick bite to eat. Conversation flowed super well, we had a good laugh. I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest, but I have felt that attraction previously so I'm willing to give it a try.

So he made comments about wanting to do it again, I agreed, and I sent a casual, good to see you, hope you got back ok. The convo naturally ended .

Wondering if I should hint at meeting him again? There are a ton of films coming out that we were both talking about that are out this month.
Should I text something like 'It'd be cool to see one of those films we talked about soon'

So to imply I want to see him, but it still lets him arrange details?
Or is that chasing/desperate?
I'm pretty paranoid now tbh, but I'm also paranoid that he got a vibe I didn't find him that attractive, even if I do like him.

Oops! ☺️

Well done for sending the text. You got your answer and you can discount him now. I don't think texting him will have put him off. Waiting and playing games with someone who is lukewarm or unsure is just such an energy drain. I hope you meet someone who is ready for a relationship with you soon. You sound really thoughtful and caring. Good luck!

Just send the text. Something like 'oh that film has come out, do you fancy going to see it?' If he doesn't answer, well you have your answer, don't bother contacting him again.

At least you didn’t have to wait around wondering if he’d text you. I don’t think you put him off. I think men make their minds up quickly.

2 hours seems a short date. Did he finish it or you?

I think it’s right that if a man is interested he will let you know. He won’t want to cut the date short, he will text you later that evening, he will want to see you again really soon. You learn the signs.

Text him! He will be agonising over exactly the same dilemma. Most men would love a bit more clarity and directness and are as fearful of seeming desperate as you are.

Maybe reach out to him in a way that doesn’t initiate another date?
eg “I just passed a billboard with an advert of that movie we were talking about- does look exciting!”
and leave it to him to follow up with “ah nice, wanna go see it sometime soon?”

For those that haven’t read the thread she texted it’s done. A helpful tip is to click on the OP’s posts.

I’ve reread your OP and I wouldn’t have sent the text straight after the date either saying ‘good to see you’ I think that was unnecessary and then you don’t know if he would have texted you later that night or not (that would then have given you more of an indication of whether he was keen to see you again).

People get a bit text happy. I don’t think it’s a good thing. Leave it a few days next time.

Yeah I'm now feeling like I messed up with the good to see you text :(

Don’t worry, if he’d have been interested that would not have put him off. But you can tell when a man is interested - they’d be arranging the second date on the first one, texting to see if you got home. If you were really getting on then the date would have been longer than 2 hours. You just need to learn to read the signs.

It feels desperate, I would personally leave it a few days and then get in touch.

If a man likes you he’s not going to be put off by you texting him to say it was good to see him, did he message you back after you sent that message? If not I wouldn’t have sent the second message. Also he hasn’t said no he maybe is genuinely busy and needs to check work schedule or something, who knows, try not to feel bad anyways plenty more out there

I ended it as I had stuff to do, it felt like a correct amount of time for the first meetup.

No stop this now. You sent the text and that was a nice friendly thing to do. If he either wasn't interested anyway, or was bizarrely put off you for being nice and friendly then that's frankly his loss. It's really not a game, you haven't broken any rules. Just be yourself - that will win some and lose some! And that's fine.

Thank you, yes he did message back right away saying the same, but I guess it was just friendly not flirty, and at that point I should've got the hint.

I would just move on. Don’t overthink it.

If I never made the first move I would never have met my hubby face to face, never mind marry him! I don't believe in all these 'dating rules' and I was even the one who proposed to my hubby (not on a leap year either).en aren't psychic, and who is to say he isn't having the same do I text her, don't I? Going on in his head. If he's interested he'll agree to meet, if not, at least you've tried and you know where you stand.

Apologies I didn't read all the updates, but at least you know where you stand. No harm no foul

My and DH similar. Knew each other as friends since we were 11. I text first. He arranged the first date. Similar sort of first date. I got home and text him about meeting up again soon. He took the hint. The rest as they say is history. Bite the bullet. Send the text.

No. Definitely don’t text.

“Hey, you mentioned wanting to see the new xyz film with wotsisname in it. I’ve just seen that it’s on at the Roxy/Vue/picturehouse/wherever on Thursday and Friday. I was going to go see it; if you’re interested, we could maybe go together?”

I’ve now read the full post and can see it was a no. Never mind, you know now. Good on you for going for it though. Next time/next one will be easier. Good luck x

Nail hits head.

He might not be telepathic, but if he doesn't bite in the first text, don't flog a dead donkey.

It's not a hard and fast rule that I'd never text first or never ask someone out. But if I'm thinking 'should I or shouldn't I' that's a clear sign not to text. When you really like someone and it's mutual, there's an excitement about getting in touch and being in touch. You arrange the second date while you're still on the first date. You message 'shall we go and see a film' and they message, 'I was just about to ask you!' It's easy and natural.

Whereas sitting and stressing about whether or not a text will be well received, when you don't like the guy that much in the first place and the date was okay but no excitement to meet again - nope.

Dating can be a lot of fun, but not if you're stressing about whether they like you or not. I agree with pp - date multiple men at the same time, meet up quickly, and don't pursue them.

Exactly.