To not want DHs toys all over the fkn living room?

[BeepBeepYh]

DH is a geek. He collects figures, lego, character statues etc.

When we had a smaller house his stuff was all over the living room. Shelves of them, cabinets, on the mantle piece etc... It caused a fair few arguments.

We've moved to a new house and there's a small room upstairs that's currently got boxes in that haven't been unpacked /sorted that we agreed would be his room for his collection.

He can put shelves up, lights, a cabinet. Anything he wants as long as the door shuts.

It's been close to a year and he's not sorted the room out.

His collection is all still in boxes in that room and the loft.

Only since we moved he started a new collection. A certain series of figures and he's been buying them.

He must have bought 30 of them.

My livingroom sideboard has been filled with the empty boxes (he won't bin them) and the shelves I put up in an alcove has been taken over by the figures.

My kids are all teens now and I was really looking forwards to having a 'grown up' living room.

I said to him yesterday that he needs to move all the toys and set up his room.

He says that I have things on the shelves so why can't he? My things are picture frames, dried flowers, ornaments and candles.

It's hardly the same is it?

It's not like I'm saying he can't collect them. I don't give a shit. I'm just asking that he sorts the room upstairs out so he can put them all on display there!

He said that it's not fair that I've got the living room and bedroom for my stuff (I've got absolutely nothing on display, I just want a NORMAL living room and bedroom that doesn't look like ToysRUs. It's not like I collect things and have all my stuff everywhere. I just want a minimal bedroom after decades of toy clutter) and he has to just have the office room.

I said most blokes would love have a whole mini room to have their own space and the living room or bedroom isn't the place for his collection.

AIBU?

Imagibe 30 x 6" marvel figurines stood on your living room shelf??

I'm not in a good mood today and reading this post of another lazy selfish man doing his own thing without thought of it's impact on anyone but himself is peeing me right off.
Tell him to get his stuff out the living room and sort out his toy room or u going on strike and start playing hardball with him.
It's ridiculous for a man to leave his toys in the grown up living room when he has a space upstairs. It's absolutely NOT the same as a vase of flowers or normal stuff. Rant over.

He lives there too……he has just as much say as you. Why not behave like an adult and compromise.

LOL this is how I feel about my 3 year olds ever growing car and super hero collection, however I am happy to accommodate him. OP you picked him maybe you can choose the cabinets/ shelves in your style and colours as a compromise. Store and organise some in stylish boxes. More space, more room for things

More of a compromise than pre agreeing with him before moving that he would get an entire room for storing and displaying his toys, plus already acccepting his 30+ plants all over the windowsills?

I'm not sure OP could be more compromising, tbh...

He sounds like a complete whelp; does he kiss them all goodnight before bed; kick him to the kerb & get yourself a real man girl not some knob hockey who collects dolls for a hobby

Why not compromise and agree on a certain amount of shelf space for him to display the things that bring him joy? He definitely needs to clean up the empty boxes though, that's not on.

If you have ornaments, he should have a limited number of figurines in there too.

I ended up buying the shelving for my son. The boxes are stored in IKEA kallax storage boxes as part of the shelving unit...

I do however have a Miku on my dressing table so I'm probably not the best person to ask!

LTB

👆🏻this!

My HP collection is in our downstairs loo and my craft collection is in the study. They do not venture into other parts of the house unless I need build space and then they are moved to one or the other when complete.

These things are fun, but they are not aesthetic!!!

my husband also has stuff in the study for his golfing, that does not come into the communal spaces either!

Hobby items are not the same as decorative pieces that enhance a space and family photographs.

No fucking way would I put up with that but no offence I wouldn’t be attracted to someone who collected that stuff! My 5 year old would!

An ornament is for aesthetic purposes though, hence the term ornamental.

A Hulk figure is NOT ornamental. We’ll l don’t think it is. It’s ugly and plastic. Happy to be proved wrong!

How about a compromise. He can have some of his collectibles on display, his favorites perhaps, on a shelf or 2 in the living room. Having his own room is not the same as they will not be seen by him or anyone else. You want to see your favorite things, so does he. Hopefully he will be willing to limit the number in the living room to tastefully satisfy you both.

I remember with joy the 2007 floods when so much of my husband's collectables were destroyed.

But - your living room is a neutral multi-functional living and entertainment space. His hobby does not represent you as a couple or you all as a family. It's just him and it's niche.

It's a bit like you going through the menopause and you putting up posters in the living room, because obviously what you're going through is important to you. But it doesn't really represent you as couple, or you as a family.

Your husband does need input into the living room. If he finds your choice of nick nacks annoying, you need to agree how the living room with be decorated.

But otherwise he has a spare room just to himself (not the case with the bedroom or living room) where he can take people. Just move his incoming stuff to his room, boxes and all.

Count yourself lucky. DP's collections are knitting machines, sewing machines, typewriters, books and figurines. All vintage. No space or table is safe from invasion. I have drawn the line at the bedroom, the kitchen and the corridor. I think it stems from childhood insecurity. It's kind of, 'I collect therefore I am.'

I’d take over the ‘hobby room’ and make that my sanctuary!

oh bloody hell OP. How have you tolerated this crap for 20 YEARS 🙄. This would give me the serious ick. Those toys wouldn't last five minutes in the sitting room or any other shared space in the house. Put them up in his play room with the rest of his shit. And bin the boxes too. I'm saying this as someone who doesn't much like trinkets and ornaments of any kind though. They just collect dust 😷

YANBU

You are living with a manchild. Nip it in the bud or he might start bringing home anime girl porn figures next

He has a whole room! YANBU and yes, manchild.

😂😂😂. This 👆

Why don't you just move it all up into his hobby room? Tough luck if he doesn't like it.

You know he's counting on you to set up that room.

OP, you have my sympathies. This would seriously drive me insane; I can’t abide clutter of any sort, and figurine clutter seems particularly bad. Especially, in a communal space like the living room. I think that in your case that you and your DH, perhaps, need to have a Marie Kondo sort of decluttering of the living room. Take everything decorative out, and then you both bring back the same number of items that you can put out for decoration. You can both individually decide on, say, 5 items each; or both collectively decide on a certain number of decorative items that you both like.

I suggest have him select two or three tasteful toys to display in the communal space and the rest goes to his personal space. He shouldn’t take over the entire house.

I think a couple of figures in the lounge. Tops. Because otherwise they will breed. He's basically being lazy because the shelves are already there in the lounge but he hasn't arranged to put some up in the little room upstairs

The issue as much as anything is your dhs total lack of consideration for you!
Why would anyone think it’s okay to spread their plastic tat across the communal areas where people need to relax and unwind and think thats okay?!

It’s selfish, indulgent behaviour. At best.