To not want DHs toys all over the fkn living room?

[BeepBeepYh]

DH is a geek. He collects figures, lego, character statues etc.

When we had a smaller house his stuff was all over the living room. Shelves of them, cabinets, on the mantle piece etc... It caused a fair few arguments.

We've moved to a new house and there's a small room upstairs that's currently got boxes in that haven't been unpacked /sorted that we agreed would be his room for his collection.

He can put shelves up, lights, a cabinet. Anything he wants as long as the door shuts.

It's been close to a year and he's not sorted the room out.

His collection is all still in boxes in that room and the loft.

Only since we moved he started a new collection. A certain series of figures and he's been buying them.

He must have bought 30 of them.

My livingroom sideboard has been filled with the empty boxes (he won't bin them) and the shelves I put up in an alcove has been taken over by the figures.

My kids are all teens now and I was really looking forwards to having a 'grown up' living room.

I said to him yesterday that he needs to move all the toys and set up his room.

He says that I have things on the shelves so why can't he? My things are picture frames, dried flowers, ornaments and candles.

It's hardly the same is it?

It's not like I'm saying he can't collect them. I don't give a shit. I'm just asking that he sorts the room upstairs out so he can put them all on display there!

He said that it's not fair that I've got the living room and bedroom for my stuff (I've got absolutely nothing on display, I just want a NORMAL living room and bedroom that doesn't look like ToysRUs. It's not like I collect things and have all my stuff everywhere. I just want a minimal bedroom after decades of toy clutter) and he has to just have the office room.

I said most blokes would love have a whole mini room to have their own space and the living room or bedroom isn't the place for his collection.

AIBU?

Imagibe 30 x 6" marvel figurines stood on your living room shelf??

Omg even looking at those toys would give me palpitations let alone them being in my eyeline when I'm trying to relax.

Wtf is he collecting them, he's not 8!

I let DH have a couple of his awful looking things or pictures out but even they annoy me. No way could I live like that OP!

My blood pressure would explode. Wth. My peep would also shrivel up along with my sex drive faced with childish tat everywhere. How do you actually cope? I am in awe at your self restraint. I would have got the bin bags out years ago.

If he keeps stuff in the living-room, I'd tell him the small room upstairs is yours and everything in it is going out.

Also if the ornaments, candles, flowers don't give you joy - chuck them out! It doesn't matter that he gave them to you.

Humm
Could be.
I mean if he loves them so much why are they all still in boxes?
This would be an absolute deal break for me.

OP just box up all the crap he considers "yours". Get a plug in air freshener or something for the dogs and remove the candles and ornaments and picture frames etc. Then put all his toys in his toyroom. Show him you're serious.

Have the living room bare until you can agree on a set number of items that give you both joy. So buy 6 ornaments together that you both love, or display 6 plants you both love, don't compromise on one joyless decorative piece of tat for you and one toy for him because your living space will still look like a child decorated it.

You have my sympathy. That is truly hideous.

THIS
(My dh is the same - though we've sold them now -)

Why? He has an entire room that's an OP-free zone. It's a binary thing - there's no 50%, as they're either in there or they're not.

Doll room - husband 1, OP 0
Shared Bedroom with dolls - husband 1, OP 0
Shared Living room with dolls - husband 1, OP and DC 0

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. You’re adults, of course its inappropriate for toys to be on display in a grown up space. Normal home decor like candles is not the same as comic book figures and anyone who thinks it is is a child or a troll. Toys - for any age group - don’t belong in a communal living space.

Just stick them in a box and put them in his room when he’s out. When he brings it up remind him that he agreed to this when you moved house.

Sounds like he's being lazy. He can't be bothered to sort the room out so he's started to put stuff back in the lounge. I'd be fuming with his attitude. I'd give him 3 months to sort the room or you're taking it back as a room for you. Put his boxes up in the loft and change the purpose of the room.

He can't have it all ways. He either uses it or loses it. Man child.

ToysRUs 😂😭

I think he's being very selfish.

Do not give in.

If I collected teddies (which I don't), I wouldn't expect other people to have to suffer them.

I agree with you. My husband has similar collections and we have things displayed on rotation. The difference is he would never expect to just clutter the surfaces with his stuff. It would look shit.

I would put them in a box and place it in his room that he needs to do up. Ask him to pick just one or two for the mantelpiece or something.

l think it’s alright for him to put the figurines on display in the living room but not a whole shelf. You wouldn’t load up the mantelpiece with 30 scented candles.

Excellent idea.

Mmm...

He is being a dick not sorting out his room. Yes.

However I think you are also being a dick by deciding that your decor tastes/style trumps all.

Why not tell him he can have ONE area in the living room to display his current favourite pieces, and the rest have to go in their own room. He can then cycle through them as he chooses.

It would absolutely piss me off if to look at my lovely lovely things, I had to go and sit in another private room to do so. It would also piss me off if the whole house were cluttered in stuff I don't like.

Chuck them all out and tell him there was a massive battle and sadly no one survived. Actually maybe you could leave one giant Orc or something and declare him the victor.

I would not tolerate this. Pack them up in boxes and shove them in his office room.

If he moves them back, I second the PP who suggested getting a really snotty friend round to help you 😆

YANBU OP. I’d hate this. Every time he puts something up in a communal room, can you take it down and put it in his hobby room? Take them all down, put them in a box and put the box in there! Then keep adding to it if he adds any more. It’s okay for him to collect them but they’re not decor.

This would be 100% no for me. Those figurines are hideous. I would give him one warning and then throw them all in a box (and in the bin).

YABU to keep referring to them as toys. They are not toys, you play with toys. They are display collectibles, and in essence are no different to picture frames, candles, and other types of decorative ornaments. They are also not just for kids or people under a certain age, you are infantilising your husband and his hobby by how you keep referring to them, while thinking of yourself as "adult" and "grown up" by your decoration item choices.
My partner is a huge collector like your husband, of specific intricate lego sets you build once then display, funko pops, solid resin moulded figures, and a few action figure types. He also keeps all of the boxes, and certain limited edition releases never get unboxed, and even get special protective boxes to keep the original packaging pristine. It genuinely upsets and offends him whenever his mum comes round and berrates him for having them, or notices a new one, tells him to sell them etc. I wouldn't be surprised if you're hurting your husbands feelings too.
You're trying to restrict him and his personality to one hidden room nobody else would go in, how would you like that? He might equally dislike YOUR choices of candles, ornaments etc. You're a partnership in a jointly owned and lived in home, you have to compromise and allow both of you to have aspects of yourselves in shared rooms. He needs to find somewhere to store the boxes sure, but the figures themselves aren't unreasonable to display in the livingroom, as long as you BOTH get an equal ammount of space for your decorative choices.

I can assure you at almost 35 i'm neither child or troll. Some of us genuinely like this stuff and wouldn't have a problem with it, or even, merge our collections!

I have a large collection of Doctor Who stuff - models, signed pictures etc which I love - but they live in my study - I do understand OP - it's my thing but not the other 3 people I live with - so the communal spaces are TARDIS free!

I do however have my Hoptimist collection on the fire place but the kids got most of them for me so that's allowed!

Is anyone else hearing the father from Diary of a Wimpy Kid?

They are not toys, they're figurines.