To not want DHs toys all over the fkn living room?

[BeepBeepYh]

DH is a geek. He collects figures, lego, character statues etc.

When we had a smaller house his stuff was all over the living room. Shelves of them, cabinets, on the mantle piece etc... It caused a fair few arguments.

We've moved to a new house and there's a small room upstairs that's currently got boxes in that haven't been unpacked /sorted that we agreed would be his room for his collection.

He can put shelves up, lights, a cabinet. Anything he wants as long as the door shuts.

It's been close to a year and he's not sorted the room out.

His collection is all still in boxes in that room and the loft.

Only since we moved he started a new collection. A certain series of figures and he's been buying them.

He must have bought 30 of them.

My livingroom sideboard has been filled with the empty boxes (he won't bin them) and the shelves I put up in an alcove has been taken over by the figures.

My kids are all teens now and I was really looking forwards to having a 'grown up' living room.

I said to him yesterday that he needs to move all the toys and set up his room.

He says that I have things on the shelves so why can't he? My things are picture frames, dried flowers, ornaments and candles.

It's hardly the same is it?

It's not like I'm saying he can't collect them. I don't give a shit. I'm just asking that he sorts the room upstairs out so he can put them all on display there!

He said that it's not fair that I've got the living room and bedroom for my stuff (I've got absolutely nothing on display, I just want a NORMAL living room and bedroom that doesn't look like ToysRUs. It's not like I collect things and have all my stuff everywhere. I just want a minimal bedroom after decades of toy clutter) and he has to just have the office room.

I said most blokes would love have a whole mini room to have their own space and the living room or bedroom isn't the place for his collection.

AIBU?

Imagibe 30 x 6" marvel figurines stood on your living room shelf??

All of this!

How does he really feel about having his things shoved in a room out of sight OP?
It sounds to me like he might be resenting you a bit for forcing this decision onto him because let's face it, it must have been your idea to provide him the small room for his collections. I get that if he has boxes of the things, they need to be stored away but to deny him of having anything of his own in a shared space is completely unreasonable. He lives there too. Let him have a few things on display in your shared room.

I don't think that your candles are any more worthy than this figurines.

Perhaps a glass display cabinent that he can fill, and limits the dust issue?

His candles. He bought them. To cover the smell of their smelly dogs.

My livingroom sideboard has been filled with the empty boxes (he won't bin them). At the very least Id be chucking the boxes in his display room or in the back of a garage/shed if you had one. Empty boxes in the living room is not reasonable at all.

My ex boyfriend had a similar hobby-painting little gnomes from world of war craft or some such. He also wanted to 'display' them in the lounge. I lived in a small but lovely 15th century house at the time. It actually gave me the massive ick. I'm an adult woman, I don't want to look at 50 garish gnomes on my mantel piece. Him (and they) had to go in the end. I don't regret it.
There's a big difference between a vase of flowers and a few family photos and an army of bloody goblins obviously.

I wouldn’t put up with this OP, it’s a living room, not a kids playroom

Interesting how few people comment on the strange infantilisation of so many modern males. A man with a room piled high with cheap (in the tawdry sense) toys, action figures? I can’t help feeling there’s a WTF? element missing here. Can you imagine your father or grandfather having such a room?

He really needs to get on with it and get his own room sorted out so he can display things in there properly.

Maybe send him some adult toy rooms on Pinterest to inspire him

@BeepBeepYh I hate candles and flowers so I’d be the one saying why do you have those out?! The fact that you call his figures toys probably annoys the heck out of your DH, especially as they’re not play things to him.

Why can’t you force his hand and kick off sorting his room out, show him some display cabinets tell him that’s what you’re ordering, then he has no excuse when they arrive.

Also choose a few things of his you can bear to have on display downstairs with your flowers and candles. The rest goes upstairs.

We have a mix of things on display, some of it my Halloween stuff, some Lego, some normal stuff.

Living room and bedroom are shared space, I'd gather them up and stick them in his room. If there is one or two that are nice and you like stick them on a shelf near the candles or photo frame. He's being a child.

It's the fact that he won't discuss and make a plan for them. That's as much of an issue as the actual stuff.

Can you help him to set his display room up? Maybe he’s struggling to get going with it? Surely once it’s set up there’s no excuse not to use it.

I swear everyone going on about a compromise has missed the bit where he already has his considerable plant collection all over the windowsills, that the OP has already compromised on.

There is already compromise and it's not enough for him - he wants it all.

Tbh I wouldn’t let him keep any in the living room! Those figurines are like Japanese bindweed - you let one in pretty soon the whole room is covered by them..

I’d also insist the boxes go in the loft. He can crate them if he likes. But I bet this is one reason he isn’t putting them out on display.

Actually, on second thought, I wouldn’t even compromise on 2-3 figures, if they’re similar to the one I’ve posted below. Such crap does not belong in communal living spaces. All of it needs to be upstairs — pronto!

He lives s in this home, I think he has some rights. Is your living room meant to be a formal room or a living space. He must of course dust them himself.
You shouldn't touch them

Yes because poor diddums can’t possibly unpack a box by himself.

Yes not ideal but at least it’ll get his stuff out of her way in the long run.

Same here except mine would be “Needmoreshelvesforlego” 😂

@FlatWhiteExtraHot I need more shelves too...
Currently having a rotation of the sets on display in preparation for new release sets 😂

Dump him!!

Yes I can. I know many men of my dad and grandfather’s generations that collected model cars or model trains.

I know quite a few retired men that had whole rooms dedicated to their model trains. A friend of a friend spent ££££ converting the loft just to create a big model train space.

Other men had model planes or they painted army figures (no one I know but I’m aware this was also popular).

It’s not really any different. Geek figures aren’t toys, they’re collectibles. Some are really valuable. And have you seen the price of Lego kits?! 😳

It’s not what I’d choose as decoration but the derision from some on this thread is really unfair. My DP is a geek collector and a big Lego fan - we compromise about what’s on display. The rest goes upstairs. There needs to be space for the things I like but how can it possibly be fair for me to tell a grown adult that in his own home anything he likes must be shut away?!

I do understand the fact that it’s not your preferred decor but if you’re living with someone there has to be compromise.

@SpidersAreShitheads yes I regularly go to collector fairs.
At age 48 I'm one of the younger folks there 😂

It's totally different having what amounts to toys all over the sitting room, as compared to vases, flowers, photographs, etc.

The man has a room of his own in which he can display and store his toys. He had agreed to do it but is presumably now too lazy to sort it out. So the small room is being used for storage of his stuff - but he is also taking up lots of room in the sitting room.

I would be furious. It's this sort of childishness and selfishness that gradually erodes relationships.