Spending summer together knowing they will break up

[Knightd]

DS is 18, he's been with a girl for 18 months, she's lovely.
His grandparents gave him money for his 18th, £15,000. He was told this is for fun stuff not practical. So travel, car, game console or similar. He bought a little run around car, some new tech for uni next year, has a fair amount left.

Today he told me they are going to break up after summer. She is taking a gap year, he's going to uni in Scotland (hopefully). They have discussed it and are happy with this even if it makes them sad.
They have stopped seeing each other now for exams anyway.
However they have decided they are going to spend the summer travelling Europe together, not normal hostel travel though, staying in hotels and having nice meals etc.
I really think this is an awful idea but DH thinks it's up to them.

AIBU feeling like this is a terrible plan?

I think that’s quite a sad attitude. I have lots of lovely memories with my ex. I do not regret breaking up with him and I love my husband very much but I also don’t regret my relationship with him one bit, he was a great guy and my first love. Just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean it was a bad relationship and all memories with the ex are “tainted”.

Though at his age I also would be going for hostels rather than hotels even if I had the money - maybe private rooms in hostels rather than dorms.

I think it sounds great.

They've obviously decided it will work for them and both paying their own way.

They may become great friends for the rest of their life,or even get back together at some point.

Don't "rain on your sons parade "

I think this sounds so lovely and a wonderful use of fun money.

Sounds fine. Maybe they'll stay together after all?
Who knows.

Anyway, he's lucky to have this cash, so I hope he enjoys it.

They sound like incredibly responsible young people.

They've each got a sound plan for their futures and next steps - and yet realise a long distance relationship is not going to work.

They're both obviously fond of each other and firm friends - hence 6 weeks travelling together.

Willing to bet they both want to be remembered as that one and only "first love" - and secretly hope no one else ever measures up to them.

I think they deserve a round of applause.

Then why is the concept of waste even entering the equation? He’s literally been told to fritter it away!

Life's short. It would be more of a waste NOT to do it.

Not everyone wants to slum it backpacking. It never appealed to me when I was younger, I just waited until I could afford hotels. Wish I’d been able to afford it at 18!

@Chardonnay73 thats actually so lovely to read. Agree with all the posters saying make happy memories!

I can see pros and cons to both sides. But I’m going to side with your parents/son on this because he’ll enjoy his trip abroad without financial constraints. He’ll probably be safer for it too.

He is 18 and an actual adult

He's a kid, still at school and his controlling grandparents have given him a huge amount of money to squander.

Good on them. They have a lovely relationship and want to make great memories together. Ok they may not longer be romantically linked but they enjoy each others company. Personally if my son came to me with this scenario, I'd be really happy for him. I'd rather he went with a good friend and had a great time in great accomodation rather than slog it out backpacking in hostels.

It isn't as if they no longer like each other. They're breaking up because neither wants to sustain a long-distance relationship. Which is probably not a bad thing. Rather than tainting the memories, it may add a lovely, bittersweet tone to it all. You have no way of knowing which it will be, nor do they. Let them have at it.

It’s not a waste; they’re good friends making lasting memories. It’s likely they will reunite down the road and how nice to have this shared memory.

Sounds like a fine idea to me!! He's lucky to have someone who cares about him so much.

I think it's a great idea- sorry! They both have the means to do it- they e made a logical decision to break up because they don't think the relationship is sustainable long distance, but have to conflict with each other. They want a nice holiday, not a back packing one and both can find it. Seems pretty perfect to me.

They care for each other, enjoy each other's company and will presumably remain friends- this sounds brilliant!

Sounds amazing he's a lucky guy!

He will have great memories.

My DD and her boyfriend decided they were going to have the summer together before he went to uni and then split up, but by the time it came the relationship was so strong that they stayed together and had a long distance relationship whilst he was at uni and she was doing an apprenticeship at home.

If you take your logic then every relationship under 25 and everything you do with them is a waste as you probably won’t be marrying them. Let them be young and care free!

I so agree with this!!

And they love each other and enjoy each other's company. They hade time, money and companionship to travel. It couldn't be better. They'll make memories to look back on fondly on a Friday morning when they're 50. They might become friends for life. The type of friends that may not see each other for years, but slot back together like it was yesterday when they do. They might realise that they want to stay together. It sounds like an absolutely marvellous plan to me.

OP I'm going to offer a perspective and opinion that I think you will understand considering the circumstances.

I have two DS, there was 7 years between them. My eldest past away age 16 when his brother was 9. It was a tragic accident and before that he spoke about how much he wanted to see Italy.
My son met another kid, a little girl who had lost her mum at a lovely charity run group for children who had lost people. They hit it off and were friends for years until they started dating at 16.
We had money saved for our older son, for uni and the such. My eldest son always wanted to travel and he loved Italian food. The girls mums favourite places in the world were Naples, Sardinia and Lake Como.
So between them they went off to Italy for 7 weeks after their A-levels, started and finished in Rome stopped in Naples, got the ferry to Sicily then Sardinia then Genoa, Milan, Lake Como, Lake Garda, Verona, Venice, Florence and Pisa before finishing in Rome again. They stayed in hotels and it was expensive! We aren't well off at all, however this was a tribute trip to the people they lost that brought them together. My son was 18, the girl was a late August birthday so only 17 at the time.
When they got back they did their own thing, DS went to uni, the girl took a gap year and did more travel (always in hotels I believe!). They broke up about 4 weeks into the uni year. It was very amicable they stayed friends and decided if it was meant to be they'd come back together but they wanted the freedom to find themselves as individuals.
Now they are 22 and 23 respectively and while they haven't ended up back together but are very close friends, we've had her new boyfriend round for dinner and whenever they are both home they meet up.
They absolutely cherish the memories of that summer and even though it wasn't backpacking it taught them a lot, they still had to budget, deal with cancelled trains, they learnt a fair amount of Italian for it, they went to loads of museums and I believe they really honoured the people they lost and did a trip they'd be proud of.
No one knows how long we have on this planet and there is no time to travel like being young. The energy and ability to just absorb everything like a sponge doesn't stay around forever and memories are worth more than £10,000!
Let him go, let him make memories, it's worth it!

Surely friends are allowed to go on holiday together.
What's the problem.??