No shorts at my wedding

[MumOfHals]

I'm getting married in Spain, in a really formal venue. I want to ask the men NOT to wear shorts for the ceremony, AIBU lol?

How can I word on the invite NO SHORTS?

Dress code:

Summer elegance for the ladies and matching formal attire for the men. NO SHORTS ( just doesn't flow well LOL)

Would a pictorial guide as an insert work.

Ok = pic 1 pink short suit
Not ok = pic 2 garish board shorts
Preferred = pic 3 black tie elegance

Actually yes, shorts are much more commonly worn in hot counties, it’s fairly common office attire . My brother lives in the south of France and they think we’re mad that office attire is a shirt and tie. Chino style shorts. At his extremely hot wedding there were most certainly shorts .

I think that it’s a whole different ball game if people have travelled , if the bride and groom choose a hot country and for everyone to spend a fortune getting there for them then to impose restrictions which may make people really hot and uncomfortable. I actively encouraged shorts at my wedding, it was 28degrees, my husband changed straight after we’d cut the cake!

My guests enjoyment and comfort was more important to me than anything else. I’m not self obsessed or selfish. My focus was the people I loved celebrating our day, not insta worthy or pretentious or wanting to control everything!

IF the OP wanted a really formal wedding with suits etc she should have just done it at home!

I think you might get the odd woman or two wearing a shorts/blazer ensemble. And certainly dresses above the knee.

Personally I think it's ridiculous to dictate what people wear. Particularly in a hot country. Surely the comfort of your guests is more important than your insta pics.

This.

I have never been to a wedding in Spain, but I have been to many weddings in very hot weather and I have never seen a man in shorts.

This is all just so so wrong.

I actually hate this about life atm.

Why not just let people wear what they want? They're your friends aren't they? You like them?

But no, looks are far far more important.

At my wedding, my friends wore whatever they wanted.

Your priorities are skewed.

If your guests aren't Spanish and you're getting married in Spain - in a hot month - then I'd relax the dress code.

If you're all used to that weather / it's in winter, then it's a totally normal request!

Can anyone on the ops side articulate why what the photos look like is more important than their guests comfort?

I can’t stop laughing at the craghoppers parka, a relative of my husbands turned up to ours in old cords and flip flops so I know how you feel. Tell me the parka is in your wedding photos.

OP it’s stuff like this you’ll look back on and remember, absolutely ban the shorts. Does the venue have a dress code? Hopefully it has wording around “long trousers and collared shirts are required for men” that you could include?

You can ask whatever you want it's your wedding but they can also politely decline to attend if they're not happy with the conditions.
If dh saw no shorts on the invitation his reaction would be fuck that, I'm not going then and I would not be attending in a breezy summer dress while dh sweated in suit trousers because I know I'd enjoy myself while he sweltered uncomfortably (he'd hate it and not enjoy the day) so if you don't want all your guests to be there make whatever conditions you like.

i think most weddings in Spain are later, so not in full heat so the bride and groom and guests are comfortable in more formal dress. That said when I went to a hot wedding dh got a linen suit and short sleeve shirt. We would have been fine with lounge suits for ceremony please

Even kids?

Not uncommon for men to wear linen shorts for a hot weather wedding. DH looks great in linen shorts with a loose shirt.

I, genuinely, had someone in speedos at my wedding. Was in South Africa, super hot. It was my brother in law, who also made the speeches. I love him in my photos, he makes them rather than ruins them. To me, my photos show the important things in life, everyone is smiling in them. No one cared what he was wearing, it isn't important. But more than that, whilst I recount the story as I am here, no one on my then husbands side thought anything of it, it wasn't mentioned.

You can ask, but I think it's a bit of a piss take.

I assume it's going to be very warm?

Do you not trust your guests to be able to source formal style shorts?

What is wrong with shorts as long as they are smart? You are making people go all the way to a hot country and then dictating what they wear? Make it make sense please

The venue may have its own dress code so quote that if it does. If it doesn't, and you do feel the need to say something (I wouldn't bother) then make it simple, such as saying "formal attire please." People will know what you mean if they apply common sense.

I personally wouldn't have been too bothered about this when we were getting married over 30 years ago now. The only dress code we had was morning suits (dinner jacket, top hat and tails) for the main men. Other people wore what they liked, which generally worked out as lounge suits for men and dresses or skirts for ladies. Their choice entirely. I don't recall anyone turning up in shorts even though it was a pretty warm August day in the UK. I wouldn't have objected if they had though, and quite probably wouldn't have even noticed.

OP has fainted clean away after reading your post!

was the ceremony at home? can't imagine someone wearing speedos to an actual venue

Your wedding your choice.

Something like Dress Code: Formal Attire.

I would interpret that as no shorts

Keep your eyes on your prize, job done

Gosh people on this thread are nasty. I live in a HOT country. Frequently hotter than Spain,
which contrary to this thread has plenty of mild weather depending when and where the event is. Believe it or not, people in HOT countries are more than capable of conducting ourselves properly and wouldn’t dream of wearing shorts to a wedding. Has nobody here ever heard of linen trousers or cotton chinos?

OP - I would include dress code specifics on your website, but also specify a formal or cocktail dress code on the invitation. Don’t use vague language like “beachy elegance” or anything like that. Use terminology that is easily understood and standard.

Also, be considerate of your guests who may not be used to hot weather. Ensure there is plenty of shade for any outdoor parts of the event, provide plenty of cold drinks, and consider handing out paper fans.

I think this is fine.

Leaning back on the bar downing a pint of bitter or lager is an upmarket look, but sipping a double vodka and coke doesn't really make the style contribution your wedding deserves.