No shorts at my wedding

[MumOfHals]

I'm getting married in Spain, in a really formal venue. I want to ask the men NOT to wear shorts for the ceremony, AIBU lol?

How can I word on the invite NO SHORTS?

Dress code:

Summer elegance for the ladies and matching formal attire for the men. NO SHORTS ( just doesn't flow well LOL)

My male hairdresser wears shorts suits in the summer.

You also need to define what you mean by ‘elegant’ summer dresses. Given the sort of recommendations for dresses to wear to a wedding I’ve noticed, people’s ideas of elegant vary.

I was initially on the “bridezilla” bus but I’ve just re read the original post and noticed it says OP is getting married in a “really formal venue” therefore I do think it’s important to make the guests aware, they might not realise this if they are unfamiliar. Is it a Catholic Church or something OP?

Is it an outdoor ceremony? If not then I doubt people would wear shorts anyway. I got married in Rome, I never thought to ask anyone not to wear shorts and no-one did.

If however the ceremony is on a beach, in a hot climate, then I do think it's an unreasonable request. Most people would have enough cop on to wear 'nice' shorts (i.e. to the knee) rather than anything too casual.

Yes, this. It's ridiculous.

I’d be left wondering what “summer elegance” was - no visible tattoos? They’re not elegant.

but yes, usually formal restaurants in hot climes refer to “long trousers” for men rather than NO SHORTS. Also as per pp, if it’s in a church do you need to stipulate shoulders covered etc?

With the British weather, I suspect no shorts at the ceremony will be a relief... Pffft now I've got to buy formal shorts for the wedding as my Hawaiin board shorts won't cut it.
Ooh long trousers, goodie, I'll chuck the usuals in the case 😂

I think with what you've written re women, just add men - long trousers.

Some places do specify long trousers for dining abroad.

I'm just struggling with elegance... That's me not going! 🤣

It's my Silver Wedding Anniversary in 3 weeks time.

I have virtually zero recollection of what people wore. I do remember my friends and family giving up a sunny Saturday to come and celebrate my life choice.

I can’t imagine anyone I know over the age of 10 or so thinking it would be appropriate to wear shorts to a wedding, Spain or not.

Just put “formal” on the wedding invitation. Or don’t put anything at all. Most people are aware a wedding is a formal occasion anyway.

Surely you wouldn’t have so many guests with no idea of social conventions around weddings that it would be an issue?
One or two shamefaced chaps can hide their knees at the back, and thus not ruin the photos, surely?

Never mind the shorts conundrum, what the Jane McDonald is "summer elegance"?

You’re being unreasonable.

its a wedding, people will know not to turn up in their adidas swimming shorts, they will be in smart chino shorts etc.

are you also going to dictate that ladies dresses are ankle length? Stop dictating and focus on what’s actually important for your wedding day.

So why is it ok to see women's "wobbly knees" and not mens? Its a bit odd anyway to worry about looking at other people's knees at your own wedding!

I’ve never seen anyone wearing shorts for a wedding ceremony in Europe, unless the wedding was literally on the beach.

Just say something like “Our venue’s dress code requires men to wear long trousers” if you’re bothered.

I don’t really know why you’d care, though.

I think smart tailored short look great on a guy! Nobody's going to turn up in trunks are they? I don't see the problem with a nice tshirt, shorts, and light blazer for example.

Oh, there's always some dickhead middleaged middle manager who thinks he's incredibly edgy and individual in turning up to formal events, including in churches, (especially those for his wife or kids, he'd never do it where it could affect his career or reputation) in a pair of board shorts.

In my experience, whilst they're dressing like the dodgy IT bloke from Jurassic Park for their wife's important business meeting, they go on to turn up in a very expensive and sober looking suit on a leaflet for their attempt to become the local Conservative Councillor at the next election.

BTW you just put formal attire. If anyone's feeling brave enough for formal shorts then that's on them. It 99% won't happen.

Some people will ignore the formal request anyway

This is a very good point. I genuinely wouldn't know what to do with that instruction and would spend way too much of my life googling, stressing and discussing with friends how to interpret that as a dress code.

I got married in the UK on a baking hot August day, everyone wore trousers as it was a church/posh hotel type of wedding. The ladies' dresses were quite formal too and lots of hats. My best friend got married at a festival-type wedding, men were in shorts and the dresses were casual. Brits can dress for the occasion!

However, if I told my DH we were off to a destination wedding and the invitation was not clear as to how formal he may think of tailored shorts, a dress code message is needed, could it not be Summer formal, long trousers for men please.

As a note we actively avoid holiday destinations that expect long trousers for men and dresses for women but would make an exception for a wedding.

I come from a hot country, and I got married at the hottest time of year. No one wore shorts. Do people actualyl wear shorts to a wedding?

But surely if the venue is formal and you want fairly formal wear, you just say somethign like, "Dress code: smart" or "Dress code: elegant" or dress code/l lounge suits or whatever and thens urely people know that means no shorts.

I mean, the only time I can imagine wearing shorts to a w edding woudl be if it was on a beach and the dress code was specified as "casual" or "beachware".

Do you think Spanish men go to weddings wearing shorts??

So only dresses below the knee?

So if they turn up in shorts will you have them chucked out?

A dress code isn't so you only have to rest your gaze on the knees you want to look at. A dress code is there for the comfort of the guest, so that they have a guideline to follow and they can relax and know that they won't turn up looking like a dick on the day. You've got it the wrong way round.

If you're going to stipulate a dress code, which is fair enough, give a proper one, not a made up one, then you won't have to add any caveat regarding shorts. Sorted.

I lived in Spain for 20 years and attended a number of weddings, never saw a male guest in anything other than long trousers.

Shorts are far too casual for a wedding, for men or women

Congratulations 🥂
I am a wedding celebrant in Spain and have worked at some amazing venues.
I have NEVER seen anyone (men or women) wearing shorts.
What month are you getting married?
June/July/August and even September to request black tie is madness.
I would say nothing regarding dress at all rather than risk offending guests by dictating what they should wear.
They have gone to the trouble and significant expense to attend; be grateful for that and
have a wonderful day 💫 x

It would never occur to me to have to stipulate 'no shorts', or any dress code at all for a wedding.

Assuming your friends and relations are functioning adults, they will know what to wear to a wedding.