To think most women on here hate men

[Tanyahawkes]

Sorry for the rant but I’m noticing a pattern on mn, any post involving a man and a disagreement results in multiple calls of he’s a narcissist, he’s abusing, he’s controlling, leave the bastard!

I’ll admit that a list of posts do involve behaviour that is not nice from dh and dp. So many posts also can be interpreted in many ways too, I just feel like a large number of women jump to the worst conclusion first about a strangers partner, having only one side of a story told in a short version.

for anyone misunderstanding me, if a post says the partner is hurting physically, calling names, cheating, putting the op down, then yes I agree, ltb (so long as the post is true) it’s when a post says “great relationship, today partner upset me and we couldn’t see eye to eye” and everyone calls the poor guy a narcissist etc

Well its hardly breaking news that 'some women' 'don't like' men, is it? There is surely so little controversy around that it hardly warrants debate. However, the statement we were invited to consider is 'most women on MN hate men'. A statement I think even the most committed misandry hunters on here have been forced to concede lacks any substantiating evidence.

@Missamyp if a woman hates a man it usually stems from a reactionary mentality due to the harm they have experienced that has been perpetrated by men, or out of a sense of fear of potential harm. Both instances are justifiable and actually sensible as women are having to constantly perform risk assessments in male company.

If a man hates a woman (as so so so many of them do) it seems to predominantly stem from either them not viewing women as humans worthy of respect, or being angry that women's expectations are now higher and they are struggling to match up. But at no point is it because women make them fearful of their lives.

This :)

@Missamyp Totally! And what I find a little disappointing is that they are not brave enough to openly admit it.
It's blatantly obvious that some women on here hate all men, no exceptions.

@strangewomenlyinginponds I can concede, however, that some women on MN hate all men.

The general feeling is, as evidenced by the vote, that this is untrue.

You should start your own thread. Oh wait - you took over this one no need 😂😅😆

Yes, I do completely agree that the original assertion has been proven repeatedly to be incorrect.

Glad we got that sorted. Ciao!

Does it take bravery to come on to an anonymous forum and admit to hating the opposite sex? If it does there's a whole world of unsung heroes out there openly hating women. Which begs the question - you and other people preoccupied with misandry on MN- are you equally concerned with misogyny? Do you also go on to male dominated forums 'calling out' woman hating? Because if you do, I'd have thought you'd have so much more infinitely serious content to deal with there, you'd have no time to be challenging women on here.
And if you don't, why not? Because it's by far the more serious problem. I'd personally find it 'disappointing' if those so ardently telling women off for sexism aren't brave enough to do the same with men.

What this thread has evidenced is that MN posters who don't like men have a bully approach to defending their views and that don't dislike men but also any women who don't agree that men as a sex should be hated.

Most posters who disagree will be clever enough not to engage because no matter what they say will be shut down by a few posters who get their power by the fuel of a few others who also hate men as a whole. The debate is totally futile and mist have better things to do in the real life where men are not hated by women.

@strangewomenlyinginponds Ah sprung! Yes, I'm a man. I HAVE to be because I don't hate all/most men and don't think that such a stance is justifiable(!)
A bit about me...
My first marriage was in fact to an abuser. I suffered for years of coercive control until I finally found the strength to leave. For years I blamed myself (and do now in my darkest days) for not just putting up with it for my kids.
I can be honest here and say that when it first happened I probably did "hate" all men; I was certainly frightened of them. I vowed never to let another man into my life. Would I, at that point, have openly admitted it like women are fearful to do on this thread? No.
But I sought counselling because I knew that wasn't a healthy place to be. It's not OK to hate all men because some men are vile.

@vivainsomnia Thank you. I agree. Apparently I must be a man (and a misogynistic one at that) because I don't hate all men. I also deserve be referred to as "it".
I find it hard to talk about my past (see above) but I felt it relevant here. I don't think I can add any more as, like you say, it's quite possibly futile.
But thank you 😊

66 percent of anonymous voters disagree.

Nobody has said that no women hate men or that no women on mumsnet hate men. However, the OP's original statement has been thoroughly debunked.

Bullying is an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that intends to cause physical, social and/or psychological harm.

https://bullyingnoway.gov.au/understanding-bullying

Women saying "No, you're wrong" even repeatedly, is not, of course bullying.

Please provide links to examples, thank you.

If you have a sufficiently compelling argument it simply isn't possible for you to be shut down by the way people with opposing views express themselves. Because your point would be made and people would see its value for themselves, assuming it had one. I've been called names, including 'stupid' on here, but if im confident of my position, its water off a ducks back.
So, I'm sorry, but along with 'I've got better things to do' and 'it's futile', accusing people of silencing you, so it's smart not to engage, just comes across as making excuses to retreat from a debate when you have no rebuttal to the points raised. No one is forced to participate in any discussion, but to come on to threads, drop your sound bite then retreat complaining of bullying when people put forward a counter argument isn't what debate is about.

@strangewomenlyinginponds Who used the word "bullying?" @vivainsomnia didn't?!
That's very revealing.
But I shall take her advice. This is futile.

This is well articulated.

If you have a sufficiently compelling argument it simply isn't possible for you to be shut down by the way people with opposing views express themselves
Haha, good try! Would be lovely if that applied in reality. Sadly, manipulation by power and fueling on it is very much a thing.

I have used the word 'bully'. There is a lot of bullying on MN. It's the subtile use of words, getting more and more insulting post by post, again fueling on the posts by others.

It's there defending a number of 'ism', but feminism always seem to attract the strongest responses.

That's partly because people don't post on this site to tell everyone How wonderful things are so you're only seeing the worst.

No one is forced to participate in any discussion, but to come on to threads, drop your sound bite then retreat complaining of bullying when people put forward a counter argument isn't what debate is about
I have posted here already. I related to what is as closed to a fact as can be with 'there are two sides to a story', but passionate posters are not interested in such debate.

Much interested in using a discussion about whether some posters are too quick to conclude that the men described in posts are bad and need leaving or punishing, to jump into discussions about the abuse of men daring from 100 years ago, citing rapes, all that have absolutely nothing to do with the situation stared in the threads that are the subject of the initial discussion.

I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't understand what you mean about power? This is a forum of anonymous strangers talking from behind screens, there is no hierarchy as we are all no more or less than who we chose to say we are, and are no more powerful than our words on the screen. Yes, you will come across people who name call and insult, but that's not power, it can just be ignored. The only real power i see comes from the strength of argument.

I am fairly new here but my impression is that people from all walks of life seem to post here and it seems a well represented breadth of opinions. I have been on some other forums that are way more of the echo chamber variety, whereas MN is thriving in comparison.

AIBU definitely has its own tone though and that’s with any subject that comes up - people can be very direct and do not mince their words in telling you exactly what they think, including insulting posters and accusing them of being “drama Ilamas” etc. But I have already noticed that if you go to the quieter sub forums there is more patience and nuance in the responses. So there is something for everyone.

It’s a good thing to expose your thoughts and arguments to test them out. And it’s good for people to disagree with you and argue back. It doesn’t mean they are shutting you down when they do this. I have changed my minds on a few things using that type of discourse.

Its not as bad as you make out.

@vivainsomnia Alternatively, when you present an opposing viewpoint, they can throw all their toys out of the pram and say "I'm reporting you!"

@WalrusOfLove I think the focus on finances by some women is definitely linked to the vulnerabilities they will face if they have children. There's so much research out there about how damaging maternity leave etc can still be to a woman's earning potential, plus add in either the vulnerable position that being a SAHM can put women in or conversely, the huge amount of money childcare costs if she decides to return to work, then I think it's a case of sensibly focusing on self-preservation.

Interestingly, in my friendship group, the vast majority of my friends have chosen to remain childfree, and none of them are married. They are in LTR but their choice of partner was not necessarily focused on finances but on shared values, as a lot of them spend a lot of time travelling etc. And actually, all of my female friends have their own assets-we are big on talking about finances and investments 😁