Reasonable to expect a surgeon to do this?

[Beeturpot]

ex dh is a surgeon. He became a consultant after we separated. I did all drop offs etc and was called in all emergencies and if dc needed collecting etc. He said he couldn’t leave if in work as it wasn’t the sort of job that allowed it.

I have recently been promoted. I’m feeling resentful that I am doing all the running around for dc. They live with me. Is he right that this is too difficult for him? He claims to start work by 8am and often leaves late. I don’t know anyone in his area of work and i don’t know if he’s taking the piss. He does do his share at weekends. Just feeling fed up.

you do know that anyone can put money tax-free into a pension - up to the (now) annual allowance of £60k p/a - how does the fact that a consultant has no choice but to do that mean that someone who has a choice is worse off?

And if your heart is bleeding - would you like a consultant to fix that?! 😁

It always amazes me the number of people with no clue who post online as though their imaginings are fact - and then you get a whole load of consultants here posting the reality and they are told that they haven't got a clue about what they earn / how much cash they have each month! It takes a special level of arrogance to do that!

As for these mythical multi-thousand bonuses:
To enable these reforms, unions have agreed to end Local Clinical Excellence Awards (LCEAs) going forward.
LCEAs are no more after the recent consultants pay settlement...

There is no doubt that a consultant is not on the poverty line and most consider themselves very fortunate to be paid what they are - however, neither are they wealthy - pay for a newly qualified lawyer in the city of London can be as high as £150,000 - when you consider that a consultant has been continually training for at least 15-20 years, and that they are often making life or death decisions every day, their pay is actually quite low.

As for the OP's original question:

• yes a consultant has flexibility - as much as many other careers / less than some, more than some.
• there are plenty of single-parent consultants, they work out how to manage
• no, a consultant isn't going to vanish from your operation unannounced to attend little Billy's egg and spoon race at sports day, but equally they might need to re-arrange if their child is unwell enough to need a parent
• no, they don't have the money to pay for full time nannies just in case, but yes they can afford some child care.

you do know that anyone can put money tax-free into a pension

Yes.

Idiotic to the highest level.
you are not a consultant, you are disagreeing with all of us who are.

Who cba arguing with stupid.

ignoramus.

Not read the whole thread, but many of the comments I’ve seen are so infuriating. There’s so much misinformation and assumption about what consultants actually earn. DH is a (fairly junior) consultant and we’ve had so many comments along the lines of “Why do you drive that [shit] car when you have his salary” or “surely you’ll be sending your kids to [nearby private school]”. While we’re not on the breadline, so many people clearly think he earns waaaaaay more than he actually does!!

In terms of taking time off at the last minute for poorly children it can be quite hard. He has three days a week where he really can’t take time off, but has two days where he can be a bit more flexible e.g. take the morning off then work late into the night…unless those days happen to be when his on calls fall, then it can be harder again. The way we do it, and I appreciate this may be harder to get an ex-husband to do, is he will take annual leave on the days when I have to be away for work / know in advance that I’m going to have a load of important meetings etc. That way he can do the various drop offs and pick-ups, but also be on standby if a child needs to come home. He also uses annual leave to take a week or two in the main school holidays and I use that time to work some very long days to try and get ahead! In short though, it’s really not easy to juggle.

I think Ibis might be confusing a bonus with a clinical excellence award. A CEA is sometimes/ rarely awarded to a consultant who carries out a large (unpaid) project or piece of work outside their contracted hours. This might be a teaching or research programme.
It is not an annual bonus for doing your normal work.

It's the arrogance and ignorance of some posters that is so wrong and frankly disconcerting. They are so convinced of something they have (mis)read online to the point where they think they can argue with people who are actually doing the job. It's a theme throughout the country sadly, people cannot or will not correctly interpret the information in front of them, continue to believe bogus information and the country just deteriorates on a daily basis.

Anyone can say they are a consultant on an anonymous online forum.

I beggars belief that £93k+ per year is such a low wage that a consultant doctor can’t afford to fund their 50% share towards childcare costs- a grand total of £600/mo out of £1,200/mo for a PT live out nanny.

It is triple the average wage and is in the top 3% in income.
How do you think the other 97% of U.K. earners manage?

Simple- their wives do the labour for free