Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Just park it until they are older get a babysitter. Eating out with teens is genuinely a pleasure - albeit an expensive one!

YANBU. A lot of places once taken for granted to be childfree are now full of children. There are so many child friendly places that it would be nice to have adult only places as well. I would happily seek them out as children do change the atmosphere.

Nope dumb dumb ask @mnhq who will be able to confirm that this is not the case. Try harder.

Like the flight with that kid constantly screaming. It can take just the behaviour of one child to change things.

Children should not be roaming around any restaurant, at all, ever. It's dangerous.

Signed,

A former waitress who used to fucking hate it when stupid parents let their children do this.

Like the flight with that kid constantly screaming. It can take just the behaviour of one child to change things.

But you could say exactly the same about adults. Just takes one drunken idiot to make things unpleasant for everyone else.

Flights are fine in my book. There are no other options. Everyone has to rub along with each other. Babies and children may not be able to be pacified despite the parents full attention, and they can't exactly take a walk outside.

There were so many other options for these selfish parents on Saturday than taking their overtired children to a high end restaurant and leaving them to cry/sleep bent double.

SHE WOULD BE HOLDING SOMEBODY’S HAND.

FFS. She wouldn’t have made it to her teens if I’d done what people here have assumed. 🙄

I’m not grasping to justify anything, that wasn’t me in op’s restaurant. Calling me pompous with that response? Hilarious.

Has there been a incident of a eatery staff member or another diner been injured by a kid who keeps running about?

Oh great so there would be two people meandering around aimlessly, getting in everyone's way. That makes it so much better!

I do agree to a certain extent. However I think that parents that do choose to bring their children out should be mindful of others around them. If my baby cries like mad (and I’m a “new age” parent) then I would leave with them or take them somewhere quiet and sort them out before coming back to the table again.

I personally only take my children to child friendly places - it’s ideal for me and ideal for them and I wouldn’t want to pay a massive bill for waste food - which has been my experience of parenting for over a decade and taking DD to nice restaurants - she barely finishes her food.

I believe that one of the main reasons that kids run about in restaurants is they don't sit to a table to eat at home. They probably don't have a table to eat at in their home and not part of their routine.

If your children can't sit to a table for the duration of the meal, don't take them out until they do this. I allow them to leave the table to visit the loo and if the place has a buffet/self serve soft drinks machine - that's it!

A few years back I watched a colleague have a plate land on her head and become covered in hot food purely due to a parent let their child run about. The poor waitress lost her balance as the child slammed into her legs from behind as she was serving.

I'm sure there are many other hundreds of incidents like this.

It’s pointless taking children that young to a restaurant and they will disturb other people at some point if they start to cry. Should just get a babysitter really.

To be fair, I don't think the 2 are comparable. There aren't any "family friendly" aeroplanes, once you're on you're on, it's not like you can take them out for some air or give up and go home like in a restaurant.

No it’s not selfish, how ignorant are you? What is important is following a good bedtime routine, and they’re getting x amount of sleep. 9.30pm- 7.30am is no different to 7.30pm-5.30am. Lots of the world put their kids to bed at 9 or later, are they all selfish because they aren’t following your little self imposed rule that it must be 7? This is a very western (mostly British) idea, simply in my opinion, because parents want a break from their kids! i can assure you it is not superior to force them into bed at 7, have all the battles and upset that come with a too early bed time, then complain when they wake at 5. Much happier children go to bed at a suitable time for them, 7 might work for some children but for some it’s far too early. We find around 9 is much better for our children, we actually get to spend some quality time as a family, eating dinner together and not having to rush through bath time and bedtime stories. We can have time for lots of cuddles and to discuss our days. No idea how you would do that with bedtime at 7!
Just because people do things different to you, it does not make them wrong.

So to have a playpen in a restaurant meant it was one you worked at or owned? Not exactly what you implied in your op.. therefore you decided a sleep pattern that fit your life it wasn't your child's and nothing to do with being ND just what was best for you....Welsh valleys don't tend to have a lot of choice.

Several fine dining restaurants near us now say no kids for evening service. TBF, if I'm paying £150 for a tasting menu, I would appreciate a nice, relaxed, quiet atmosphere. So I'm kind of with you on this one OP.

I used to take my kids out a lot when they were younger (around 3/4) but always through the day and to more casual restaurants eg a pizzeria. Personally I would rather have had my kids in bed at 8pm rather than in a restaurant. When we go to Spain and see very young kids up and about at 11pm I'm full of awe and secret admiration for their parents but then the atmosphere is very different, very family focussed. I wouldn't be able to do it though.

Our granddaughter is now 1 year old and her parents do the same, out and about through the day and if they eat out it's usually for lunch.

So in Portugal children all survive school on less than 8 hours sleep....hmmm

ODFOD.

I clarified that I meant high chair. I slept midnight till noon as a baby and so did my baby. You don’t know us, or anything about us, so keep your judgy nose out. 🖕.

Was the baby being loud, or was it just a baby at all you objected to?

I have to say I wouldn't expect small children at 7.45 pm. They are tired and fratchy and just need to be at home if not in actual bed. I'm reasonably tolerant but not to the tune of £150 and DP just couldn't cope at all and the evening would be miserable. We'd probably have left.

because everyone wants to hear your waily baby. Lovely.

You sound charming ( not)

I can only assume you don’t have a job and your kid will never have to get up for school so you can continue this utter madness.

if your kid was wandering around a restaurant I’d ignore it and hope it went away. People were probably just being polite and you sound unbearable!