Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Don’t you just hate when you go out in public and it’s full of people?!

YABU - and you don’t know the circumstances. They could be out for a regular meal or they could have had the worst day ever and this was a meal the parents looked forward to for ages and then the sitter cancelled half an hour before so they decided to take the kids and it was a nightmare, not helped by some grumpy mare shooting darts at them from across the room.

Given that there were multiple families in that night, you picked the wrong spot.

Clearly those young children weren't enjoying themselves if they were crying for that long. It's not reasonable to inflict your kids' noise on other people and expect them to tolerate it without the slightest objection. That is a large level of entitlement and it really is not ok.

YANBU OP and I am shaking my head at all these posters endorsing the mother cursing at you.

We definitely go out to eat at that time. I mean usually we would book more like 6.30pm to eat so it’s a bit earlier and we are gone by 8/8.30pm.
But a) we don’t have a babysitter. The only people Ds is sometimes left with are our friends who also likely are joining us for dinner. B) Ds never sleeps before 9pm c) we aren’t in uk and I think 99% take their children out for meals. D) I don’t leave him screaming e) it’s not £150 per head type places, but regular restaurants f) deliveroo doesn’t exist here

I wouldn’t personally take Ds to £150 per person place as that’s more Michelin star vibe and he’s fussy. But there’s no actual reason kids aren’t allowed so many will pay that. So I wouldn’t ever expect a place to be child free.

This.

Mine are 5 and 10 and they're in bed by 8. If we go out for dinner we go during early sittings so that we can get home.

A baby passed out in a highchair is a clear indication that child should be home in bed.

I half agree. We didn't take our children anywhere in the evenings, and they were in bed at 7 until at least aged 7, then at 7.30 until they were at secondary school. I even took my baby daughter out of a Pizza Express in the afternoon once to walk her around outside because she was getting unsettled.

But, these are my decisions for my children. Other families do things differently. I think I was probably overly concerned about other people rather than my children, so I hope these families are having a lovely time with their children and not constantly worried about upsetting people like you, as I was.

Wow, the replies on this thread.

YANBU at all, OP.

I live on the continent which is supposedly much more kid friendly. I would expect children in restaurants at lunchtime, maybe very early evening, but not at that time. Especially in a high end place.

If your child is falling asleep in their high chair over their evening meal, you should take that as a sign that it's too late for them to be out.

So many entitled parents these days.

And if you're going to make rude gestures and say "fuck off" to people who are annoyed by your child in a restaurant, you're not classy enough to be in a nice place and you should stick to Toby Carvery.

It’s not the time of the day per se, it’s that children who are crying should be taken outside until they settle down. At any time of day. I can never understand how parents aren’t completely mortified to be ruining other people’s meals. It’s the height of bad manners.

Sure, but the OP' behaviour was also really rude, so perhaps she should have stuck to Toby Carvery as well?

Yanbu for not wanting your meal spoilt by crying children but you should have checked the restaurant's policy if you're so easily disturbed by this? Surely you're aware that not everyone subscribes the idea of putting kids to bed really early to get them out of the way?

Next time could you just look up a restaurant that is not so kid friendly?

we usually don’t take LO out so late, except for occasionally we have had a big family event (50th wedding anniversary etc etc) that went on late so sometimes the little ones are their too. But usually the drunk grown ups are loudest 😝
We do soemtimes just book out our own room thoug!

When you are on a trip away there's not somewhere you can conveniently leave the kids. We often end up arriving late, going to wherever has space regardless of price.

Our kids were fairly biddable though... thankfully...

On the rare occasion dh and I go out for a meal in the evening, if we want to avoid children being there we go at 8 or 8:30. This hasn't happened for about 5 years though, although it will next month, woohoo! Children shouldn't necessarily be in bed at that time but shouldn't be out if they are obviously tired and should be taken out of they are disturbing other people. And I agree with you OP that a restaurant that charges £150 per person is a very special treat. I would expect to pay a bit less than that for our family of 7 who mostly eat from the adult menu these days if we go out for dinner.

You seem to have your anger directed in the wrong direction. Its your fault you chose a restaurant that allows this to happen AND chose to pay a lot for the pleasure. If the parents of children turn up and get turned away by the restaurant, that's the one you should be going to if you feel like this.

From your op it doesn't seem as though the families were particularly problematic anyhow but i full agree with your right to a child free night. Make a better choice in future, especially if you are paying more for the privilege.

The fuck off woman sounds like my type of gal 🤣

Obviously not so fine intimate adult dining as you thought if they allow kids.

£150 a head so £300+ for a meal

What did you eat ?

Misses point of post 😂

What was the cost of the children's menu and what food

Wondering how costly their chicken nuggets were if they did them .....

Seriously tho yes I think young children need a regular early bedtime and if crying /falling asleep in highchair indicates tired /had enough

Not an issue to take children out to dinner but as above if tired /crying /grumpy take them out or bring stuff to amuse them

How do people expect children to learn to behave in nice places if they take them to Toby freaking Carvery?

We have always taken our children out to dinner, whether they slept or not. No screens. They regularly go to bed at 8.30-9pm in the week so a 9.30-10pm weekend night is not unusual. My 9 year old would shudder at the idea of chicken nuggets and chips in a restaurant and loves to explore new food tastes (me, I quite like a nugget or a Nandos).

That said, I'd not allow my child to cry and ruin other diners experiences. I'd take them outside until they were calmer and ready to enjoy the occasion again.

YABU to expect children not to attend nice restaurants.
YANBU to have expected the parents to parent their children better.

You need to work on your game face though if it's visible you are pissed off.

People do this at concerts too. It makes me really cross when I think of all the times we either did not go at all, if we could not get a sitter, or we paid for a sitter.

Fuck, what restaurant starts a bottle of wine STARTING at £60?
I would want my food served by Gods and have music played by jewelled fairies. It would contain no calories and i would never be full

I think the fuck off woman knew she'd fucked up by how she reacted.

I don't care when kids go to bed but no one wants tired irritable kids at evening meal. Stupid idea.

Me too. If we’d had a babysitter cancel and were struggling with crying Dc in a restaurant, we would have tag teamed taking them out and just got through the meal as quickly as possible.

We would not have let our DC disturb other diners and then mouthed swearing across the room. That on its own tells you all you need to know.

YANBU. I remember a very rare night out to a local fine dining restaurant on a Saturday night. Between the food, wine and babysitter that night probably cost us close to £300. I could have wept when a pram pulled up across from us.

Some places aren't for small DC.

Brilliant reply 👏👏👏👏👏

There is a time and a place for small children and it doesn’t sound like this was it. I can’t stand parents that think their kids are more important than everyone else in the universe and don’t consider the impact their parenting has on others. If they are grouchy or asleep at the table then they absolutely should not have been there. Must have been rubbish for them too!

Yes it does. Parents really need to parent their children properly in a restaurant.

The children’s menu at Le Manoir aux Quat’ Saisons is only £25 a head, and spectacular value for money if you ask me, given the cheapest adult tasting menus at lunchtime is £320 once you add the basic wine flight. It’s available in the evening so they obviously welcome children. For a grown up dinner I wouldn’t expect to be sitting down before 8:30 at the earliest, and in parts of the world that’s still very early and children are up until 10 or later!