Put your frikking babies to bed!

[Plsdiscuss]

I went for a very exclusive dinner Saturday night. I'd been looking forward to it for ages. £150 per head place, which is a huge splurge for us.

A family of 4 were seated next to us at their 7.45pm arrival. The (about) 3 yr old was 50% pacified. The (about) 9 month old in the high chair squawked for about 30 mins then fell asleep, looking very uncomfortable slumped over the side of the highchair.

If their noise wasn't bad enough, I could hear another child crying in another part of the restaurant for about an hour. That child's noise got louder as they were pushed in their pram crossing the restaurant to leave around 9pm. I commented and gestured to my partner. I wasn't as subtle as I thought in this, as the mum looked cross, waved her arm at me and mouthed fuck off.

When my now adult children were that small, they were in bed by 7.30, unless there was an event like a wedding. We got babysitters for evening meals out...very rare as very hard to get babysitters. I would never have dreamt of taking my under 5s to quiet intimate adult spots, then letting them cry for the majority. For 1, I wouldn't have enjoyed my food and 2, neither would those around me.

There's a reason deliveroo exists. Use it. And stop being so frikking selfish. Babies need sleep, not fine dining.

Totally agree. Mother sounds rude and defensive (suggesting she knew that she had upset lots of people around her).

Well actually I think times really have changed. A large part of society seems to have forgotten the aim to not be inconsiderate of others and there’s a far greater tendency to act defensively and aggressively if anyone has the temerity to request any consideration at all.

Probably down to the afternoon siesta and extra long lunches

It so grim. This idea that anyone can behave as they like and sod anyone else around them, who might be inconvenienced, upset or otherwise bothered.

I do not think for a minute that Continental high end restaurants are full of babies

To be clear, I wasn’t offering DD up for interaction: people would come over to see her and she’d inevitably end up roaming around the place being entertained by other adults. Nobody was forced to interact with her.

(she was walking at 9 months so relatively unusual being so little but so forward.)

Christ on a bike. Nobody wants to entertain other people's precocious toddlers at dinner 🙄🙄

Roaming around the place?? 🙄🙄You're deluded. Sounds unsafe stop.

Of course they aren't!
Nannies are hired for this very reason.

A couple wanting a nice evening à deux will not be trundling a baby or toddler along to fill it's nappy and disturb the ambience..or Heaven forfend..BAWL.

No , in Portugal there is no siesta and kids go to bed after 11 pm and school stats at 8:30 am

Grim indeed. Seems so very prevalent, sadly.

Christ on a bike. She wasn’t roaming around until someone else interacted with her. She’d be happy in her playpen or sat/stood on one of our laps looking around an other people would interact with her. It happened ALL THE TIME. She was a very cute and engaging baby. Not everyone in the restaurant would come over and I wasn’t walking her around and shoving her in people’s faces.

The Welsh valleys are a pretty friendly
place where most people know someone who knows someone else. It’s a community. We aren’t all sitting there pretending nobody else exists.

i had no reason to change her routine. She slept, we slept. It was literally NO ISSUE for her to sleep those hours (and nap in the day too).

My other comments in this thread were to @SiousieSoo. That you've replied in the first person to a comment I sent her shows that you're either drunk or @mnhq have missed the fact that's your sock puppet account.

I've taken my kids to all kinds of restaurants from afternoon tea at the Burj to McDonald's. But not past bedtime which this clearly was. YANBU.

A question for all the clever clogs who think finding adult only restaurants is easy, what searches do you use? Because the algorithms do not help in this area. Most places tolerate kids. Doesn't mean it is okay to fuck up other people's night out. OP is correct. Get a fucking baby sitter or stay home and get a takeaway.

I used to take my baby to cafes and family friendly restaurants because I had no close family and this was me meeting friends for my sanity during normal working hours. Sometimes he cried and when he was older wanted to run about and cause havoc, which I had to guide him through using an outdoor play area cafe. I needed it or I’d have gone crazy.

Not fine dining though! That would seem inappropriate. But when you want to spend all day with baby but it be trapped at home with no friends, yeah we had a hot chocolate.

Im never really bothered by other peoples children in restaurants- mine is 5 now and is generally very well behaved although he does sometimes sit under th table pretending to be a dog being given scraps. In a cafe this is fine - it’s not disruptive. Dogs are allowed too.

In fact the worst behaved he was was the day 2 other kids had iPads and were watching cartoons and he was trying to watch their cartoons before starting to make a big fuss. We ended up leaving as a family meal out is no fun of one person is not participating.

I think children should be taken to family appropriate places not fine dining, but to be fair the worst screaming baby had nothing on a drunken hen party shouting, swearing and falling their chairs, or angry arguing couple, both of which I encountered on honeymoon in a fine dining experience.

I have a 3 year old and a 14 month old, i absolutely would not take them to a restaurant that charges £150 per head, if I’m paying that amount then I want to enjoy the meal never mind all the other customers! We do take our children out to eat, usually early evening, but we go to family friendly pub/restaurants not fancy restaurants.

The entitled part is doing nothing about their prolonged crying spoiling other people's meals, then mouthing "fuck off" and gesturing at the very idea you should be parenting your own children.

Massively this.

The mother who couldn't be arsed to parent her own child with her "fuck off" sneering and gesturing, and those clapping along to this loutish behaviour are those who will try and insist; It's what children do.

No, it's not what children do. It's what some children are allowed to do when their parents are spectacular ignorami with no consideration or respect of their surroundings or the other people within them.

A 730 bedtime was what kept us sane when we had 3 under 3 ! DS 1 regularly fell asleep in his high chair at a yr old! By time DTs we’re in a high chair we fed all of them at 530 pm then bath & bed!
I just don’t think taking wee ones to a restaurant in the evening would be enjoyable for anyone ! Get a sitter & enjoy some adult time! Or if kids must be involved for a family celebration or whatever do it at lunch time or early evening 6pm!

I must say I only know of one. And even that isn’t fully child free. I think they allow 8 and over? Or under 8 if you pay for a private dining room. And this is a Michelin star place in Baslow.

So glad you found what worked for you.

it’s not the same as what worked for us.

and that’s okay.

You take a playpen to a restaurant? Please tell me I've read that wrong!

I did take a playpen once to my sister's wedding reception....

I presume she said it was OK though.

But to a restaurant, where staff are having to navigate their way around it?!

I must have read that wrong. Surely.

Sorry - meant highchair!

Oh! Phew. I'm quietly relieved to hear that 😂