Is anyone vulnerable still isolating? Covid

[KindredPoodle]

My father was told to isolate years ago during the first wave of covid, because some immune suppressant medication he had to take every few years made him temporarily clinically vulnerable.

Years later, he is still following this advice and claims that he still had to isolate for safety . He sees nobody, insists on washing the food delivery in bleach solution, quarantines the post and doesn’t allow my mum to go into anyone’s houses or get close to them. It suits him because he’s naturally antisocial and quite controlling, but it’s destroying her life.

So my question is, is ANYONE else who was told to isolate (back when covid was a big scary unknown threat, and we had no vaccines or knowledge of how to treat it) still isolating? My sense is that very few are, and my dad is doing it out of some combination of fear, mental health and habit

Your mum needs to ignore him and crack on with her life .

Op, what are you looking for, you know full well if anyone still is it is due to other factors,,like your dad. The question is why is your mother choosing to,live like this. As it is a choice she’s making. Not just him

Yes.

And this.

God no, no one I know!
Your poor mum.
Your father is mentally unwell and your mother is being abused.
What been done to try and improve the situation.

I don’t know anyone who isolates due to being vulnerable anymore.

My mother is on immunosuppressant treatment for breast cancer (and will be on it for life) and hasn’t isolated since 2020.

He sounds like he needs some psychological help. Or other than that, your mum needs to leave. His behaviour is not normal.

He’s eating food with bleach on it?

My parents are still doing exactly as you described
My mum would also like to stop it.
I think it is equal control and fear. Sadly I have no answer

@Harara Listen, Trump said to inject ourselves with it, so eating it isn't going to be bad at all.

I am clinically vulnerable and still wear a mask if in a confined space with others and use anti bac. I don't go to busy places anyway but wouldn't want to.
But I am not isolating as such just exercising caution. Your father sounds extreme to be carrying on like this.

My mum is still immunosuppressed and was throughout COVID, was extremely cautious during the pandemic, but even she is now going out and about and absolutely not doing what your dad is doing.

Has he had recent medical advice about his vulnerability/lack of vulnerability? It very much sounds like either he is mentally unwell and /or controlling your mum.

Your poor mum. Can you get her out of there? 😥

My parents were simply due to age
I am sure there was at least one change of advice to stop isolating once vaccines were available.
By isolating he is promising them both more vulnerable....they don't get exposure to anything even low level. As soon as they have to go to a doctors waiting room or hospital they will be bombarded with all sorts of what should be fairly innocuous bugs, but they have had 4 years of no exposure.

I’ve just have covid jab 9 as I’m in the most vulnerable group. Am working in a very busy place and am exposed to people (and their pathogens) from all over the world on a daily basis. Is he still on the immune suppressants? If so how are his blood results? I have mine done v regularly due to the meds so know how at risk or not I am most of the time.

Is your mum aware he's abusing and controlling her? Does your mum ever see you? Or come to your house?

https://www.england.nhs.uk/coronavirus/documents/information-about-the-end-of-the-shielding-programme-and-managing-the-closure-of-the-shielded-patient-list/

Shielding for CEV (clinically extremely vulnerable) ended

But in fairness immunosupressed adults are still advised to take certain precautions....not to the extent your father is.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-people-whose-immune-system-means-they-are-at-higher-risk

& don’t forget to shine a bright light on it!

Im on immunosuppressants and had chemo though covid. I don't have any covid antibodies despite jabs and boosters and am eligible for antivirals.

I don't shield I or wash shopping or avoid anywhere or anyone. I do antibac and mask during hospital visits but it's more that I know how much of a pain it is to get antivirals rather than a fear of covid.

I know a lot of people with similar conditions both irl and online and don't know anyone who is still taking the precautions your dad is. Your mum needs to go out and live (not that easy I know) would it be worth a gp or nurse phone call to reassure your Dad?

Could you write to his GP, they won't communicate with you but should note your concerns and then suggest he talk to his GP about isolating. Encourage your Mum to involve medics too.

No one I know is still shielding now. Both DH and I (both pensioners) got covid recently. But we were both up to date with our injections and it wasn't that bad - just like a bad cold really.
If your dad has been vaccinated, there is no need for him to shield.

I guess I’m looking for evidence that most of the people who were given the same advice as my dad at one point, have either been told they can stop shielding or have stopped on their own. So that I can show it to my mum. Because she half believes him when he says they still have to follow all these precautions to keep him alive and I need her to wake up and fully realise it’s in his head.

To those saying what have we done, it’s very challenging to do anything much because they won’t allow us (siblings) to come and stay unless we isolate for five full days beforehand. And if mum comes to stay with us she has to isolate from him within the house for five full days before their “normal” life can resume. And they live in a remote village. Four hours drive away (none of us can drive) or accessible via two trains and a taxi (and if you go on trains you’re not isolating are you). Dad won’t discuss the subject on the phone, and if you try to bring up stopping or relaxing the isolating he either claims we don’t care if he dies or shuts down the topic and then refuses to speak to you (sometimes for months). He goes to his doctors appointments alone, so we don’t know what his doctors are telling him, but he claims he still has to isolate because they can’t 100% guarantee he would be fine if he got any infections.

I think he’s lost his mind, out of a combination of fear and wanting to control the fear by doing all these protection / isolation rituals, but it’s incredibly hard to do anything about it given that we can see him very rarely, can’t access him via doctors and can’t get him to talk about it on the phone. So trying to get my mum to break the situation herself by convincing her he isn’t in danger, and that the short term silences and anger he will subject her too are worth it if it breaks them out of living in isolation in the long term, is the only recourse.

They are wiping the outside of food packets in a watered down bleach solution to kill any (imaginary) viruses. Lots of clinically vulnerable people were doing this in the first few months of covid but my dad has never stopped

It’s impossible isn’t it. Anytime we talk to dad about trying to relax or stop the isolating and protective behaviour he claims we’re telling him to put his life at risk.

I find myself almost hoping something bad happens, like he breaks a leg and it makes him to go into hospital for a bit or have to get in carers - just because it would change the situation and force him to reengage with the world.

Your DF is mentally unwell; equally, he won’t accept help or change, so he’s a unsolvable problem.

Your DM chooses to live like this and can presumably see it from your perspective. She can choose to leave your DF to his fearful, paranoid existence, or she can choose to go along with it. If she wants to leave and you can help her, this is where I’d focus my energies (if I were you). If not, then she’s made her choice and will have to live with it until she breaks free.

I only know of one person still isolating.

It's not someone I know personally. But someone I've followed online for probably 15 years plus because of a shared hobby.
Pre-covid she was a photographer, out and about, travelling the country, very popular and in-demand.

But now she's made her continuing isolation her ENTIRE personality. Every little twinge, tiredness, head-ache is because of her covid after-effects. Of course, she had no vaccinations.

Every single post she makes on her instagram now is about how sad she is that no one else around her is still isolating. Hell, she, her dd and dh went to the beach recently. She stayed in the car for the entire day, posting "woe is me" instagram stories. She can only "handle" being in public for 15 minutes at a time, before "it becomes all too much."

I mean, she's clearly had some sort of mental health crisis. She has 4 adult children, 3 of which seem to have completely washed their hands of her.