To think husband is being unreasonable? a bra is not taboo/inappropriate

[brabrablacksheep]

I get dressed in the bathroom each morning after a shower. The night before I lay my clothes out on the radiator in the bathroom, including my bra so that they are warm when the heating comes on after I get out of the shower.

My husband had removed my bra this morning when he got up before me and put it in our room. When I asked why he said it was inappropriate because teen stepchild in the house so not right to leave it "lying around"...

Am I unreasonable to think this is really ridiculous? It's just a piece of clothing that 99% of women wear every day. It's not sexual it's a bloody bra. Not like I left a flipping vibrator lying around the bathroom?!

@Whatdoido1987

Well I have never been a teenage boy so I don't know but from what I've heard, many of them do find seeing women in swimwear quite arousing/ awkward/ embarrassing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't tumble dry my bras. Or my daughters. Non of the males in this house, or visiting males, have ever batted an eyelid if they happen to come when we are on a drying frenzy. It's a bra. It's an item of clothing that most women wear, it doesn't need to be hidden. What the fuck are we saying to men and boys, that even our underwear is a shameful item of clothing that needs to be hidden?
Tell your dss to pick his dirty undies up off the floor too. Ugh.

I'm more worried about what we're saying to our daughters with this, tbh.

So what if some teenage boy feels awkward? He can sit with his feelings, it won't hurt him.

But ...how ever will he cope on a beach then? And tbf some of the tiny crop tops and shorts I've seen people wearing aren't any more concealing than a bra!

Of course teen boy will be happy to see pretty girls in skimpy clothing. Seeing some girl on the street is not going to be the same as seeing your step mum.

Now, I don't think an empty t-shirt bra is particularly sexually appealing, but if the comparison is to be made, there's your answer.

Is everyone missing the point that this is an unrelated male step-child.

Keep your underwear somewhere private and accept you are in the wrong on this one.

My almost 17 yo came home from school the other day and asked why there was a bra on the stairs! To be fair I'd just bought it that day and had put it there to take up later.
My husband found it somewhat amusing!

@WaverleyOwl No? Why are you ignoring the many posts - including mine - that say that shouldn't make a difference? What exactly makes it wrong? It's a piece of clothing.

Here - I'll repeat it here for you:

If a teenage boy is embarrassed at seeing a bra not currently worn by anyone then fine. He can be embarrassed.

It's completely irrational and he will grow up and realise that - unless the adults in his life pander to this and hide the offending clothing from his sensitive eyes.

@SpudleyLass in your rush to be outraged, you appeared to completely miss the part of my post where I said "or a dry buddy" which is basically just an enclosed airer with a heater.

So a bra is out publicly on a clothes horse?

How is that different from it being on a radiator?

Oh well so long as the boy doesn't see a piece of clothing, whether in a dry buddy or a tumble dryer, couldn't have that.

@SpudleyLass again, no, it's enclosed - as I've said twice now 🙈

I don't think any teenager needs to see their step-parents pants laying around the house, no.

It's not like they're blood related - it's a whole different relationship.

Guess I'm too working class to have that monstrosity in my living room, especially as I hinted at before - space is at a premium.

You do you and I'll do me. I'll fetch the smelling salts for any male relative having the horror of seeing an over the shoulder boulder holder on a radiator.

@SpudleyLass it takes up no more room than a normal airer? It's just enclosed so that the heat is trapped and the clothes dry faster - you can dry a load of laundry in an hour or so.

Quicker and cheaper than having everything bunged on radiators to dry, and no issues with damp or mould either 🤷‍♀️

Seems like an odd thing to get offended about and I'm not sure what class has to do with it either but you do you I guess!

Yep. Posters will seethe at your second sentence though you know that right? Boys and men's feelings are to be put first at all times according to Mumsnet.

It sounds more like you’re having a little fantasy of your own, to be honest.

Yes, teenage boys like tits. That doesn’t mean they’re wanking over their stepmum’s bra when it’s drying on a radiator, however keen people here (rather creepily) seem to be that this is the case. Boys see bras every bloody where, they sell them in the supermarket ffs. They’re really not a novelty.

Teenagers really don’t need to look at random boring underwear if they want to think about boobs. I guarantee you this kid knows where to see things a lot more exciting than that, simply by looking on his phone.

I understand that but I think if they are getting aroused at seeing a bra on a radiator then there's no hope. Bras shouldn't be so sexualised to the point that a teenager can't look at one. If she had a massive dildo attached to the wall in the bathroom then fair enough but it's in the same vein as saying a man can't have pants on the radiator in the bathroom because his penis goes into them ! I've never felt the need to hide bras or pants from ds/dd

I’m sure he won’t be doing that with your underwear when he is 14. Not the same is it.

I find it a bit odd that a grown women can’t just take her clothes into the. Bathroom in the morning just before showering.

As a teenager I wouldn’t have wanted to see my parents underwear draped around the bathroom, I’m sure my brothers would have found it ick too.

Because whether you like it or not a 14 year old will associate your bra with sex. He’s going through puberty, what the hell do you expect.

If it’s a nice set, and if you are what he would consider “hot”, he might well of thought about it and you in a sexual way, you are his step mum, not his mum. It’s not like he’s going to tell you.

I already prefer not to use my clothes horses - clothes herself? - so no way would I buy one of these - seems very enviro unfriendly to boot!

See also, energy bills.

Ordinary dryers take up too much space.

Just easier to tell young lads to ease their way into viewing bras as a normal piece of laundry to be quite honest. Not sure why people are pearl clutching at the very idea.

Its an early teens boy thing, generally they dont want to see Mum/SM underwear around and No, it doesnt make them weird. Theyre allowed to not be into that. This thread is off key, so many goading OP to leave bras & sani's out for him to see. Why would you do that, unless you're a bit of a creep? Which is what a man would be labelled if he left his undies out daily and his SD didnt much like it, so he came here to make a Post to gain support.

OP assuming your bra is dry, Im not sure why your bra would be cold on leaving the shower unless your house is freezing or you keep it in the fridge.

Just start walking top less between the bathroom and the bedroom because you can't put your clothes on before your bra.

😉

I’m not pearl clutchy?

You asked how people dry their clothes in winter, I answered and you turned it in to some kind of bizarre class issue 🤷‍♀️

Nobody 'needs' to see anyone's clothing laying around the house.

Why is it less appropriate because they're not blood related? The bra is a piece of clothing, this one with no body in it. Why does it matter that the person who will eventually wear it isn't blood related?

Creep

Yanbu. We dry washing on radiators here all the time 😂 pants and bras on the line for all the neighbours to see all summer. How is it ANY different