To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

[EWAB]

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

The Holocaust deniers, that is a line in the sand for me. I wouldn't align with anybody or any party that had that as a belief. There are a few lines in the sand but that one is an absolute for me.

“I’m not racist, my best friend’s Asian.”

Ben Habib is a Pakistani man and is co chair of Reclaim. How do you square that off OP. Are you having a visceral reaction?

Isn’t that Labour? Are they still that bad..

Is that the Ben Habib who said that he would let immigrants drown?

Omg. Stop.

So @EWAB are you planning to tell us which party you’re on about? 🤔

I’d love to see a quote when he said that and in what context. People just can’t cope when a man/woman of different heritage/colour isn’t far left.

it’s almost as if people expect them to be weak, penniless and need the saviour white man to rescue them instead of successful and have different opinions

Are you telling me that Labour has this policy? I haven't seen that anywhere but yes, it would change my vote.

So, I can't vote for conservatives, or labour... liberals et al won't get in by dint of size. What do you suggest? I'm genuinely a voter without a home, I loathe them all.

What do you suggest?

Spoil your ballot or don't vote

OneTC, spoiling my ballot is the only option then as I wouldn't ever not vote.

In theory, what would happen if spoiled ballots were in the majority? Would it have an impact or would the incumbent stay in power?

I once asked that @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe and was told the incumbents would stay in power (I asked our council Elections team (corporate and governance) btw

Why can't you just say which party it is?

OP are you pearl clutching over The Reform Party?

I'm an academic in Politics and if you analyse the contents of manifestos for the non-banned parties in the UK, none of them would come close to meeting the definition for extremist, fascist, communist or any of the other insults that get thrown around. Labour and Conservative are nowhere near as far apart as people like to think either. People vote centrist in Britain, whether a little to the left or a little to the right really isn't the point. The reason everyone gets so het up is because the first past the post system means they have to try to present themselves as different and demonise the other party/parties. It's all smoke and mirrors.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe a spoiled vote doesn't 'count' and is ignored. So whichever party got the most votes would win.

Shock horror, not everyone's a lefty!! Who knew?

As you won't share, we don't know if you mean the Reform party (right wing) or the BNP party (fascist).

My lovely, kind dad, with a number of immigrant friends, would vote Reform in an election. I'll likely vote Labour myself. He also voted to leave the EU. I voted to remain.

I have the maturity to mix with all sorts of people with views different to my own.

Absolutely this.

Thanks Judellie, that's what I feared.

So, if I assume then that labour are Holocaust deniers then my realistic option is to vote conservative. They haven't said anything about the Holocaust but who knows what the hell they really think? I do know that conservatives will erode everything that made life worth living for most of us.

Any other parties however honourable will not get it done because they're too small.

Clear cut then... vote for the living or the dead? What a choice that anybody should have to make.

We need abolishment of the government in its current form. Start again with proportional representation and and overseeing organisation that is entirely non-political. It will never happen...

Thanks, historiccastles.

Can I ask, what would your voting suggestion be?

This isn’t aggressive; it’s factual.

For God's sake OP, I thought you were going to say that they had gone to prison for committing a crime, not that they have different political views to you. Stop being so dramatic!

I don't understand people who say that the values and beliefs of their friends are irrelevant.

And yet so often we see posters on here suggest you drop friends who act in ways you find immoral.

Your values and beliefs inform your morals, and vice versa.

For example I could never be friends with someone who finds it funny when disabled people have their benefits cut - whether it's the Tory MPs who guffaw performatively in the commons when such bills are discussed, or the right wing dickhead who does similar in the pub.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I can't possibly advise someone on what to vote. It depends on the kind of election, where you live and what the parties on offer are.

But I would encourage people not to vote tribally, it shouldn't be the case that you've always voted for X and could never vote for Y. Parties evolve over time.

Read the manifestos, vote for the party whose aims most closely align with your preferences, or vote tactically to keep out the party whose aims are furthest from your preferences.

The UK as a whole tends to be small c conservative, and long term voting trends shows a preference for right-of-centre politics. I'm a pretty solid lefty, but I also have the maturity to know that other people think differently to me, and even vote differently - obviously as we've had a Tory government for quite a long time now!

This left = good, right = bad is an utterly ridiculous way of thinking and only contributes to the polarisation and trivialisation of politics. I'd much rather we went the other way and had more conversations about what we have in common, which is quite a lot actually, and then thrashed out the details of how we achieve it, which most of the time is the area of. difference between Labour and Tory parties.