To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

[EWAB]

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

Good posts from @historiccastles as someone who knows another country very well it’s interesting to see the difference in narrative around similar policies

Labour are not holocaust deniers. Absolutely ridiculous nonsense. There are a lot of Conservative bots on Mumsnet who'd like people to believe that though.

It really does.

I'd love to say "who cares" but realistically, I'd feel weird about that as well.

I'm not infatuated with the current left politics now, I can totally tolerate tory people, I may roll my eyes at my far-leftist friends but still love them, I could probably have a nice time with a Republican in the US, heck, I even have a French royalist in my family, so disagreeing with people I love is totally fine for me, but far right is just a step too far, I wouldn't be able to see beyond that.

I would not judge someone on their political leanings, I would judge them on their actual conduct.
I probably would judge them also if they were judge other people for which political parties they support.

I think in some cases it absolutely does.
I don't see how anyone who is a member of a party that encourages division can be a good person.

I get you OP.

I ditched my ex when I found he'd voted UKIP (the idiot was Polish, not sure what he thought he was voting for...).

Also couldn't look at my friend the same way when he proudly told me he joined the Tories on his 18th birthday and voted for Brexit.

I don't want to live in an echo chamber but for me, having generally similar politics is important in forming friendships/relationships.

Why are you not saying what party it is op 🤔

I would regard this as a moment of personal growth for you that people can have views you disagree with, or even do things you disagree with, but still be good and decent people.

I had a similar revelation when I was about 19. Its stood me in good stead.

Because it's quite obviously Reform, or the Conservatives, the milquetoast of right wing, and centre-right at best, and not the BNP .

I think you'd be hard pushed to find someone who thought it was 'funny' for a disabled person to have their benefits cut. That's such a childish and extreme example to give of the callous collective mind of the dastardly right!

What you're more likely to find is a lot of people who, whilst empathising with disabled people and thinking many are worthy of support, and that support should continue, the numbers of people with a diagnosis who are currently being supported are not sustainable over the long term.

'I loath the left', because of 'their absolute intolerance of anyone who doesn't think like them'. THEIR intolerance?

But someone's political leanings does define them. Because it shows the type of society they want and their belief systems.

I am perfectly fine. To use the name of of evil who slaughter 6 million of my people on an industrial scale in this context is horrendous. This word alone strikes fear into millions of people. Please have some sensitivity

Voting for the party which will give the society you want to live in is what democracy means...........

Because that name strikes fear into millions of people. It should only be used in context not as a figure of speach or a sarky comment

To add, I think you should use this to challenge your own prejudice about 'right wing' people.

You clearly have a view of what their character is, and now you are discombobulated because your prejudice is clashing with a reality you have experienced.

That should cause you to reflect on the accuracy of your prejudice, not cause you to dismiss the reality you experienced.

They really do not want the same thing.......read the manifestos, look at history, check the voting record of MPs.

I keep refreshing the thread to see if OP has told us what the party is yet.
I see there's still no word.
OP: None of us can tell us if YABU unless you say what party it is. And preferably what specific policy you think puts them beyond the pale.

😴 Can someone wake me when @EWAB makes the big reveal?

I haven’t decided who i’ll vote for yet but there’s lots of common sense policies I agree with from Reform and the Conservatives. I have friends from every background/countries all over the World. Its actually getting harder and harder to tell the difference between Labour and the Conservatives which is why they spend so much time accusing each other of stealing the other ones policies. So the whole ‘right wing’ and ‘left wing’ is actually not really true.

I dont choose my friends based on their politics (in fact we rarely discuss that). I choose my friends based on if they are kind, fun, similar interests, positive people, enjoy life etc.

My experience has taught me that, regardless of political party, all sides want a society in which people are able to prosper. They just have a different analysis of what the problems are and propose different solutions. But they are all think that are doing what is best for their country and its citizens.

I think you'd be hard pushed to find someone who thought it was 'funny' for a disabled person to have their benefits cut.

Not sure if you're being genuine and are just quite sheltered, but it's really not that difficult. I mean there are elected ministers doing just that.

And I don't know why you choose to belittle my views while defending the right, but I suspect it's a fair indication that we wouldn't make good friends irl.

What if none of them do?

If I vote Tory it means I support venal idiots spunking our money on dodgy PPE contracts.

If I vote Labour it means I support anti-semetic cowards who pretend women have penises.

None of the parties on offer are going to give me the society I want to live in. So how does who I vote for define me as a good or bad person, when I can only vote for what's on offer and all of it is very far from perfect? This kind of simplistic tribal thinking just doesn't work.

Please make some sense and explain your response to @Trainbother's perfectly reasonable post where she specified far right parties? Odd you're so keen to defend the far right.

You’re the one who ‘can’t abide lefties’. You’re the one who equates the SNP with fascism.

You should really work on being a bit more tolerant.