To want to be consulted about DP's 8 Y/O DS being at the birth?

[PeedOffandPg]

She will be here for hols and there is no one else to look after her. Her mother is coming up with her and then going the next day and leaving her for five days.
He just assumes she will be there and be fine with it. But HE NEVER ASKED ME HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT.
I approached it today, asking if she will be fine seeing a birth. His response was, as I knew it would be, totally defensive. "I know my own daughter, if you dont want her there, she wont be, but neither will I"
His "issues" stem from thinking I want to do everything my way (long story)
BUT THIS IS MY DAY and I want to be put first. I think the visit should have waited till after I gave birth.
You know, the idea of her being there for her little sister's birth - that I am fine with.
But I am not fine with the fact that he didnt ask me how I feel about it. AIBU???

You are one brave woman and I wish you a quick and easy labour and a calm & peaceful recovery. Not sure where you are but I am in Glasgow & would happily pop by, make you a cuppa, bring you some shopping, keep an eye on the beautiful new baby you will have so you can have a shower etc. Anything you need. E mail : [email protected]
Good luck.

Best of luck to you - you have a lot of anonymous support here at mn. Enjoy your beautiful new baby.

Good luck, thinking about you this weekend, i'm so sorry you're going through all this..

Absolutely everyone agrees that you've done the right thing. As another person said you do not need 2 babies. He is a selfish, ignorant, bullying man who thinks only of himself. It's true - he can see his other daughter anytime he wants but he would only witness this birth once. He's too self-absorbed and he wants everything to be about him and he will not change for anything in the world and that is something you need to remember. This will be a rollercoaster of emotions for you from giving birth to raising a child but you can be strong and can do it alone. There is nothing worse than the wrong man in your life you need to concentrate on your baby and yourself and not him. The horrible things he has said shows you how low he will sink and that unfortunately is clearly his personality. I hope he stays away for your sake because your child does not need to be raised by such a man who will probably always but his first child ahead of you and your child. Make sure everyone knows how he has reacted if you don't take him back because he is bound to paint you as the bad guy - in his eyes he is always the victim. Stay strong and good luck to you. You deserve to be happy and supported. There will be someone out there for you who will love you and your baby for who you are and not for what you can do for them.

He sounds like a complete Moron and your better off without him.

He sounds like a complete Moron and your better off without him.

Good luck and best wishes for the Labour YOU want, a peaceful delivery and a happy healthy baby.

I am totally shocked at his behaviour, well done for standing up to him, I think you have made the right decision. He really has to prove himself to you and your dd now, but I think you are much better of without him. Single parenthood needent be so bad, I think too it would be preferable to a life with such a self absored pigheaded twunt.

And as Expat said, there is a reason he is not with his Ex, he was probably as unreasonable then as now. This has shown you a lot about his character. Keep it on board, and think carefully what role he has in your dds life.

what an awful situaution. It is not even a question of putting yourself first - an 8 year old girl has nothing to do in a delivery room. Any responsible adult would make arrangements for her to be looked after while you have the baby.
good luck with the birth and beyond.

Thinking about you - I sincerely feel you are better off without this "man", what a way to behave - I am stunned at his attitude and think he may have some mental health issues tbh.

Anyway do try to enjoy this wonderful time - I am so glad you will not be rushed into anything. Please keep posting. I think you are brave and amazing.

xx

Christ - I have just caught up with all of this and am open mouthed in shock. I had to add my best wishes to the mn chorus! You sound like an incredibly strong woman, but I am angry for you that you should have to prove this at such a time.

Best of luck XXX

PeedOff, I am near the ERI if I can help you in any way - [email protected]

I REALLY don't know what to say about your 'd'p.

Peedoff, just caught up with this.

Hope you can see that he was behavig like a twat because he wanted you to have had enough, ie provoking you into ditching him so it wasn;t 'his fault' and he gets off the hook of looking after you and a new child.

Mine did this but I was only 3 months gone. I did the same as you. I'm fine now (well sort of - but other issues not related to him!) and have my beautiful child and the man is nowhere to be seen.

I can tell by your posts that you can do it and have faith in your decision - very proud of you and rooting for you and baby XX

You will do a grand job, I am sorry that this has happened to you but you did nothing to deserve it and have no reason not to succeed.

Let us know if we can help in any way at all.
Thinking of you - well done, well done

As others have said, he's a nasty selfish fuckwit, and you're better off without him. How could you ever trust a man who came out with such vile nonsense? I wouldn't let him anywhere near the delivery room, or your lovely new baby.

Thinking of you - hope everything is ok.

So if you go into labour at 2am and are in labour for (worst case scenaio) 24 hours plus, she will be there the whole time!?!?! He sounds like an idiot (sorry) tell him to sod off if you don't want her there. I think as it is YOU giving birth you are entitled to do it your way with whoever you wish to be present or unpresent!

Message withdrawn

PeedOffandPg just caught up with this, wishing you good luck and hoping you're okay. Thinking of you and your baby xx

I wonder if the baby hasw finally arrived

I hope the baby has arrived, and then peedoffandpg will at least get some peace from mrtwatman! good luck POAP

Have just read this thread and think that you have been so brave. Will keep an eye out for your birth announcement. Take very good care of yourself. Thinking of you both.

well done. You have been incredibly brave. Now you can put yourself and your lovely baby first without any distractions. There is absolutely no excuse for his behaviour (stress - bollocks) and even if there was you do not want to live with someone who is that volatile and selfish. best, best of luck: you will have a gorgeous wee baby very soon xx

hope all ok

Well done, peedoff. You and your baby are much better off without this selfish git in your lives.

Good luck for a safe and easy delivery.

just read the whole thread what an arse!!!

Good luck for today hope all goes well all that matters is you and your little DD x