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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I need a sex-hat?

155 replies

NCobligatory · 30/04/2024 11:56

I’ve woken up to lightly matted hair again and I find myself thinking that I don’t have the time to detangle this bird nest every time. Do I do I need a sex-hat? Is that even a thing?! How do other people avoid the nest of shame?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Aswellisnotoneword · 01/05/2024 05:03

DarcyHargrove · 30/04/2024 21:49

Put it in a plait.

Theb you can Pavlov him into associating plaits with sex and just whack one in to signal you are ready for sex.

I fear this is exactly what has happened with DP and my Blowjob Ponytail. Which is a problem when I need to tie my hair up to clean the loo, for example.

TomJonesHuhhh · 01/05/2024 06:17
Wink
TomJonesHuhhh · 01/05/2024 06:26

<Muses over millinery>
(Flick your) Beanie
Sombrer-oh
Hardhat
Bucket (fanny)
(reverse) cowboy
(go on) top hat

I amuse myself

NCprivatelife · 01/05/2024 06:38

JudgyGarland · 30/04/2024 22:11

Isn't that what these are?
Royal Sex Hat Line.

I imagine them both just pissing themselves getting ready for this event.

"My hat is the ugliest hat I could find!"
"Mine too!"
"But no-one will say anything about it..."
"Because we're fucking princesses bitch"
Peals of mirth

Wigtopia · 01/05/2024 07:22

Sex hat seems a reasonable solution, but what happens when you take it off? You’d be left with sex hat hat hair.

Then although people won’t be thinking:
that lass has sex hair

everyone will be thinking: that lass has sex hat hat hair

a true conundrum!

Wigtopia · 01/05/2024 07:26

WildBear · 30/04/2024 23:00

Depending on what your after, you need to wear one of these to boldly signify that you are 'in the mood'...

The one on the right looks like a tuna steak 🫣

Jk8 · 01/05/2024 07:55

Took the liberty to edit up a little before & after....🤣

To think I need a sex-hat?
CarInsurance · 01/05/2024 08:06

Wigtopia · 01/05/2024 07:26

The one on the right looks like a tuna steak 🫣

She looks like she's stumbled into a warped version of Pokemon Go and isn't sure she should be there. Not sure I'd muster a smile with those on my head to be fair.

SamuelDJackson · 01/05/2024 16:14

TomJonesHuhhh - Chapeau

Thanks Thank You GIF by PuyduFou
Missingpop · 01/05/2024 17:46

Just cut your loses & go on top

Missingpop · 01/05/2024 17:49

Limth · 30/04/2024 12:11

< Dis u, OP?

Absolutely pissing myself that’s enough to send the old man flaccid & shell writing in he doesn’t fancy her anymore😂😂😂😂

NannaKaren · 01/05/2024 17:51

Limth · 30/04/2024 12:11

< Dis u, OP?

😂

Skylermarie · 01/05/2024 17:52

Oh into Classics, PLEASE!

AntisocialPotNoodle · 01/05/2024 18:03

Skylermarie · 01/05/2024 17:52

Oh into Classics, PLEASE!

Why? What qualifies it as a classic?

Skylermarie · 01/05/2024 18:06

Because 🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣 it's up there with Penis Beaker

Rookangaroo4 · 01/05/2024 18:08

Separate bedrooms works for us and he’s not allowed in mine 😂

Skylermarie · 01/05/2024 18:14

How about this

To think I need a sex-hat?
DonnaBanana · 01/05/2024 18:24

Why aren’t you showering after sex

ClaudiaWinklepanda · 01/05/2024 18:29

How does the falcon wank bonnet actually work? Does it put its willy into one of the little holes? I confess I have no idea what size a falcon’s tallywhacker is.

AitkenDrum1970 · 01/05/2024 18:59

Brilliant thread - really need a laugh today 🤣

SpiritOfEcstasy · 01/05/2024 19:26

Is this some sort of stealth brag? 😂 he’s banging me so hard my hair is clumping??? Or are we in ‘There’s something about Mary’ hair gel territory?

LovelyButteryBiscuitBase · 01/05/2024 20:38

Bed time plats work for me when my hair is on the longer side.

Ourshoddyhouse · 01/05/2024 20:42

Am I the only one that thought it was a hat you wanted to put on as a signal to OH you were up for some nooky.

Bit disappointed ngl 😔

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