To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

[Weallknowfrogsgo]

White non markedly Muslim or other wise woman and a Muslim man together, clearly in a relationship? What do you think?

as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest.

after that thread about the woman marrying and arab, it strikes me that a lot of people have some quite strong opinions on this, and the convert to Islam threads on here also have been quite telling

disclaimer this is me, despite living in a very multicultural place, we do get looks here and there and boundless questions on our relationship that tbh aren’t very appropriate to ask a stranger whenever we meet new people. And if we go someplace less diverse the looks are more apparent.

My white non-practicing Christian dad married a Muslim woman. He was told he had to convert. He said he had, to keep her family happy, but did not. TBH, the way she treated him and then ran off once she had her visa (only coming back to hoover up all his money once he’d died) she was not really bothered about his religious leanings as much as she was about her gravy train ticket.

I think, with her insistence that a Muslim woman wouldn’t marry a non Muslim would she the OP is projecting her own prejudices on a slightly goady thread. Most people on MN would not look twice at a couple where the man and woman are visibly from different ethnic backgrounds (and let’s face it, there are enough white Muslims and brown Christians around that she is clearly asking about couples who look different, not couples where the man and woman are from different religions.)

Over on the other thread, people are concerned about a young woman taking part in a ceremony that will change her legal status in a culture and country she is not familiar with not because it is what she wants, but because it is what her fiancé wants in order to placate his family. It does not matter what culture or colour the man is, there are certain situations in a relationship which raise red flags, and this is one of them.

If someone came to me asking advice about what to do if they were either the man or the woman in this scenario, then I might ask some questions about the other person, work out if they seemed a good person with the right intentions, would the respect the other etc. But that’s different to seeing people in the street.

Because of where I work, I’m aware of lots of couples like this and the male is married. Telling her that he wants to be with her, it was an arranged marriage etc, and I feel so sorry for both women.
I know a woman who had gone through IVF with her DH, got pregnant by the lover, then had an abortion. It was so sad.

All the "how could I ever possibly know that someone was a Muslim?!" posters have never actually been outside right?

That’s what a male friend of mine did too! Just said, oh yes I’m converting etc. Didn’t change a single thing in his life. His wife (my friend too) isn’t really religious though.

I've never seen someone wearing a cassock outside of a church service and never seen someone wearing a hijab in the UK (and that's women isn't it?) I thought turbans were traditional national dress (Turks and Indians) - didn't realise it was religious.

I would find a man in traditional dress, beard and cap with a woman in western dress with no hair covering quite odd tbh. It’s nothing to do with Islam - I’d find any couple with mismatched “lifestyles” indicated by their dress to be striking.

I didn’t say that, I said I wouldn’t necessarily notice because I wouldn’t be thinking about “oh he’s wearing Muslim dress etc” Obviously some people wear traditional dress etc and others don’t, so that also depends even if you were looking around at others’ clothes.

I know it’s a typo but v interested re these Romans!

My daughter is a white British woman married to a Palestinian/Jordanian. There is absolutely no way you could tell that he is a Muslim by his appearance - he is very fair skinned for someone from the Middle East and speaks English far better than most people I know, with very little accent. They have recently moved back to live with us in the UK for various reasons, mostly work related, but also because of the extreme racism they experienced living in Turkey for the last two years.

My daughter dresses very conservatively and wears a hijab that covers every bit of her hair, and wears no make up or adornment apart from her wedding ring but she doesn't cover her face. They have only been back here for a couple of months but my daughter has already had some quite unpleasant experiences and encounters in shops and markets, and while travelling to work. We live in a very multicultural part of south London and I'm surprised by how much negativity is shown towards her.

I think rightly or wrongly people see the woman in this scenario as having thrown her freedom away.

I wouldn't know a man was Muslim by looking unless e dressed very traditionally.

My attitude would be dependent on his attitude. Two white friends of mine are married to Muslim men, both happily so but neither have converted to Islam and neither man seems particularly religious. That said, one friend's husband locked her in a bedroom once when he didn't want her to go out with friends, and she escaped down the drainpipe. I was horrified. She thought it was an adventure. The other friend is married to a man who is lovely - dotes on his child, doesn't have any of the issues with women being independent that would be warning signs to me.

But she can marry a white man who is a muslim. Which I have done and unless we are sat in a mosque people are quick to assume he isn’t muslim especially since the advent of hipster beards!

This.

So if man looked as you described and he was with white woman in say shorts and a t-shirt (clearly Western type of clothes) l would be very surprised as they clearly looked like people with different values (one very religious and the other not religious at all)
If it’s not your scenario how this woman is dressed? Because it makes the whole world of difference.

I personally don't care if a purple creature from Mars married my elderly neighbour as long as they were happy.
But if it was one of my dc I would be more concerned over culture clashes and potential gc being 'taken over' by inlaws / family with strong beliefs.
Again if dc was happy that would be good enough for me, but I'd always keep the door open for dc whoever they married or lived with.

So you're later have added that the the man would be dressed and groomed according to Sunna so quite an observant Muslim with a wife with a White woman.
Some Syrians and Palestinians are White. Even if he married a Christian or Jewish woman religious Muslim men would ask her to cover her hair up, if they married her at all because there would pressure from the community that he persuades her to convert to Islam or to marry a Muslim woman. If she is Muslim, an observant man will be pressuring her even more, or not marrying her at all if she won't wear hijab. Community pressure will be against him to persuade his wife to wear a hijab.

So it depends on details really. Either way I would just know we would have less in common and disagree on fundamental things in life so I'd be polite because religious freedom is law but I would also give them a wide berth.

If he wasn't wearing something to indicate that he's Muslim, I'd never know. If he was wearing traditional garb, long beard, etc, and she was dressed in Western style, I might wonder what their relationship is like, since I'd think fairly unusual that he be extremely devout and yet married to someone who doesn't seem to share the same beliefs.

I'd be similarly curious if a woman fully covered in veils was married to an obviously non-Muslim man, or a man with Orthodox Jewish dress and hair was with a woman whose dress indicated she was of a different faith. I think a certain amount of curiosity is natural, under those circumstances, not that I'd particularly care, if I didn't know them personally. But yes, I might briefly wonder about their history together.

It just doesn't make sense that a woman of any ethnicity would be dressed in shorts and sleeveless top or a short dress with a Muslim man who observes the Sunna in his dress unless they are doing a sketch for Social Media or he is dressed up for Eid or a special occasion because if he is that religious he just wouldn't be with her not in the marriage or even seen outside with her like this as it's considered haram.

These days long beards are fashionable and if he looks Asian or Middle Eastern, well some people from this ethnicity can look from a multitude of cultures and backgrounds from Latin America to India to White European so it would have to be traditional Islamic wear and other visibly Islamic clues. In a jeans and a t shirt we can't guess he is a Muslim he could be Hindu or Atheist or whatever.

What a weird question. I wouldn’t think anything. Not every male Muslim is a threat to women….if that is what you are implying? This thread is teetering on dodgy territory.

I am in the it depends camp....I mean I might not notice. Round here its common to see hijabi women in western clothes, including tight jeans and lowish cut tops so I'd be more likely to identify a couple by what the woman is wearing than the man, although its not something that I would accord more than a passing thought if that. What I do see, although not as often, is a man dressed in western clothing with one or more women in burquas. Children are similarly dressed, the boys in western jeans and t shirts, the girls in "modest" clothing, maybe with their hair covered. While it doesn't occupy my thoughts for long, I do wonder how much choice the women have in those circumstances, especially on hot days. I am in south UK near a multicultural town.

I’m a white woman married to a Muslim. He’s North African. Not sure people can tell whether he is Muslim or not - he’s obviously not white/ a different nationality to mine. But has never worn clothes that would mark him out as Muslim - here on back home. We’re in London so it’s very normal to see a mixed couple. The only racism I have encountered is in our early 20s at British airports when he didn’t have a British passport, lots of being stopped and questioned

Well, “she” can marry whoever she wants actually. This is the UK, not Saudi Arabia.

YOU might not think anything, but you're being naive to believe no one does or should think anything.
That's what this thread is discussing.