To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

[Weallknowfrogsgo]

White non markedly Muslim or other wise woman and a Muslim man together, clearly in a relationship? What do you think?

as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest.

after that thread about the woman marrying and arab, it strikes me that a lot of people have some quite strong opinions on this, and the convert to Islam threads on here also have been quite telling

disclaimer this is me, despite living in a very multicultural place, we do get looks here and there and boundless questions on our relationship that tbh aren’t very appropriate to ask a stranger whenever we meet new people. And if we go someplace less diverse the looks are more apparent.

You’ve asked for opinions about what people would think upon seeing you with your husband, and have said he is obviously Muslim, but I don’t think you are being very clear about how you yourself present.

From what you are saying about it being haram for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, it sounds like you are a Muslim yourself, but white and perhaps not born into a Muslim family?

Do you cover your head in public?

If I saw a white woman not in religious dress clearly married to a devout Muslim man with a beard and prayer cap I would wonder how they reconciled their different faiths at home and be surprised that the man was interested in having a non-Muslim wife. Or I’d think they were on their way to a special occasion so he was wearing religious garb for that reason.

If the white woman was in religious dress I’d think she had converted and not give it any more thought.

I don’t think I have ever seen that first combination out and about though, and I live in London.

Most of the mixed couples I know are less obviously religious. One of my son’s classmates has a blonde white British mother and a father of South Asian appearance with the name Khan. Neither dress in any religious way and both drink alcohol so I assumed that he was either not a practising Muslim, or a very liberal one. Their child has a western first name.

My Muslim mate from university is medium observant, goes to mosque occasionally, doesn’t drink or eat pork, but doesn’t pray daily. He is married to a white non-Muslim woman, I think she might be culturally Christian but not practising . They met at medical school. Their kids are being brought up to understand Islam but no pressure to practise it. They have names that work in both Muslim and Western contexts (eg one is Aron).

I wouldn't know if someone was a Muslim by looking at them. If you are saying a probably mixed race possibly mixed religion couple I would say good luck to them, being a couple is hard enough without lots of cultural differences in the mix.

But as my GM used to say every twos a pair.

I thought it was odd that you didn't see this in Leicester. But then remembered that in Leicester the communities live in very separate areas. So there is probably less mixing than in other cities. (I'm Leicester born and bred) it surprised me when I moved to Nottingham that there were less clearly defined areas. And the areas where there was a majority group, were much more mixed.

Of course you do. The word Islamophobia was created to shut down discussion. Why aren’t we allowed to criticise Islam?

Do you ever hear of Christianophobia, Catholicophobia, Hinduophobia?

Which post? The whole thread or one post in particular?

White woman with a Muslim man? :) Well I'm white and all men in my family for as long back as it's possible to trace were.... White! I kid you not :) We're Bosnian :). Have been settled in the UK since mid 90s. Just wanted to point out that Islam isn't a racial or ethnic characteristic so it can be a bit misleading to say "white woman with a Muslim man". Islam a set of beliefs rather than physical appearance.
Just for the record my husband (also Bosnian) is also white, with blond hair and blue eyes.. Most males in his family (also 100% Bosnian and 100% Muslim) look similar in their appearance.

Yes, I was also surprised, but yes, while it’s a massively multi-cultural
city, it is quite ‘zoned’ rather than mixed, so I assume that’s partly it. We made friends with a middle-aged white guy/woman of Pakistani descent (and non-practising Muslim) couple, and I think had known them for a while before I realised that kind of couple was comparatively rare. I know she said they deliberately didn’t live in the city, though.

I think it's none of my business.

I live in a town in the NW where there is a large Muslim community. They tend to keep themselves to themselves, although I have worked with a couple of Muslim girls who were absolutely lovely and sociable at work but told us of their very strict home lives and were never allowed to socialise after work, have boyfriends etc You never see a Muslim man with a white woman around here but if I did, I'd just assume they were happy together and had found a way to make things work between them like any other couple.

No but we do have anti-semitism. Why is this any different?

I’m not sure how, as I’ve been very clear that I am that person, and the reason for posting has been the content of any Muslim adjacent threads here on MN, there are a LOT of very strong opinions on anyone marries a Muslim, not just that other thread about marriage but look at the Muslim amas

I don't know if I'd know a man was Muslim just by looking at him. I live in a still very homogenously white rural backwater but even here we do have many people of all different races. IDK where they are from and I def don't know their religion by looking at them.

I grew up in a largely Sikh area and that I could tell because they wore head scarves. I am R.C. myself if that makes a difference.

I think there's another female being controller and influence by a man.

Isn't it funny how the man never converts the other way round.

You did ask.

Funny, my husband did.

I can't tell people's religion by looking at them.

whats your point? We can be here all day mentioning every type of phobia

Ok, so let's grant for the sake of argument that the traditional clothing lets someone infer that the man is Muslim. How would I know that you are not Muslim, just by looking at you?

People probably look because dress wise it can be a stark combination to see someone dressed in traditional Arab clothing in a relationship with someone dressed in jeans and a t shirt. Around my area there's loads of British Muslim couples where the women dress in beautiful colourful fancy looking traditional clothes and man is dressed in black trackie bottoms and hoodie. It does catch the eye. The only thing I think is, couldn't he make more of an effort? But that's just because I don't like the tracksuit look..

A relative of mine is dating a Turkish Muslim at the moment. He's fairly relaxed and almost chooses which bits of the religion to observe (he does fast and doesn't celebrate Christmas etc). Her mum is pretty relaxed about who she dates but she's said a few things that makes the bf sound controlling. He's said if they get married (he's dead keen despite only having been dating a few months) then she must take his surname (she's not keen). Any child they have (he's not keen to be a father but she doesn't want to rule kids out) will have a Muslim name and will follow the Muslim faith.

He treats her very well otherwise and spoils her, but hopefully she'll weigh everything up and think carefully before taking her relationship to the next level.

I do have 2 family member with 'inter religious' marriages. Neither converted, they aren't to Muslims though so I don't know. If a relative was marrying a Muslim and was converting I would be interested and possibly a little concerned

You haven’t been clear at all. You haven’t even answered whether or not you are Muslim yourself.

I think the one preconceived thought I might have is that there's a chance they would have had to overcome barriers and prejudice to be together, and that they must be a strong couple to survive that. Of course everyone's situation is different and I'm sure plenty such couples have faced nothing of the kind, so I wouldn't assume that was the case, but it would cross my mind that it might be if that makes sense.

Well sometimes you can tell someone is Muslim by dress or by beard- but not always.

If I'm honest If I notice, and probably would only notice in a cafe or a train where I can people watch! I may wonder about if she is treated equally, if she has to compromise, if he respects her values.

For example a friend ( white british) married a Muslim when they were young and he wasn't a strict Muslim- drunk alcohol went clubbing dated white British girl etc.
However after marriage and when they had kids it all changed and he became fundamental so their daughter not allowed to climb on climbing frame in park or dance or swim.
Kids aren't allowed Xmas presents.
She converted to Islam when they married but compromise is all one way- however they've been married for over 20 years. He is committed to his family.

If I'm completely honest - I wouldn't be keen on my daughter marrying into Islam as all our British values, traditions, and equality between the sexes could be disregarded

And equally a lot of Muslims wouldn't want to marry a British white girl- although of course they may have casual relationships with them without wanting to commit to the future.
Which to be fair my friends partner did go against the grain and marry her despite HIS family disapproval.

I don’t think anything. I probably wouldn’t notice unless they had a placard announcing it.

many religions have clothing particular to that faith e.g.

Christian - cassocks
Sikh - turban
Hijab - muslim

Sure, you can't tell 100% (before anyone leaps on me), but it would be a fair assumption that if saw a man wearing a turban, he was a Sikh. Obviously not all people of faith follow dress codes.

I have muslim male work colleagues and none of them are as you describe - they just wear ordinary clothes, some might be clean shaven, some bearded, just like any other men. I have seen people wearing prayer caps in London but assumed they were Jewish?