To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

[Weallknowfrogsgo]

White non markedly Muslim or other wise woman and a Muslim man together, clearly in a relationship? What do you think?

as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest.

after that thread about the woman marrying and arab, it strikes me that a lot of people have some quite strong opinions on this, and the convert to Islam threads on here also have been quite telling

disclaimer this is me, despite living in a very multicultural place, we do get looks here and there and boundless questions on our relationship that tbh aren’t very appropriate to ask a stranger whenever we meet new people. And if we go someplace less diverse the looks are more apparent.

Why not?

I have come across plenty of women from muslim backgrounds who are married / in a relationship with white British men. It’s very common, in fact

Islamically a Muslim man can marry a Christian or Jewish woman but a Muslim woman cannot marry a non Muslim man.

I know a few Muslim men in my area of south London. I only knew they were Muslim once I got to know them. They only wear traditional dress to go to the Mosque on Friday evenings or for celebrations. They all look very different and have different heritage backgrounds. There is nothing that makes them look Muslim!

I wouldn't think anything.
If they're happy together, then why not.

I live in London so would never even notice it. If I did, not that I have, I guess I would assume the Muslim man wasn't fully devout/ more westernised, or the woman was also part of
Islam? I suppose the only difference is if I saw a white looking man with a Muslim looking woman I wouldn't necessarily assume the man was part of the same religion. I think it's just that as a woman I see Islam as being something I might need to adhere to, at least to an extent if I dated someone of that culture.

My female friend is Muslim and shes with a white man, they are married and have a family and no ones bothered. I live in a very multicultural area.
My 15 DS recently had some mares round for a gaming thing and out of 14 of them he was the only white British born. I didn't know this till one of his mates said. I know a couple were Muslim and at least 1 was vegan as needed to know due to food.

That’s neither here nor there.

Out in the real world, plenty of women from muslim backgrounds have non-muslim husbands and boyfriends.

To give just one example because she just popped up on my instagram, the beauty entrepreneur Huda Kattan comes from an arab muslim family from what I can tell, but is married to a Portuguese non-muslim man.

It is incredibly common, especially in the west, for muslim women to date/marry western men.

I don;t think anything. I have enough to be worrying about in my own life.
Most Muslim men in my part of London do not have beards or religious clothing.

Nothing. Literally nothing at all.

. . . except perhaps how great it is to live in a progressive and society

Nothing, as my ex is a Muslim and I’m white. Plus how would anyone knows he’s a Muslim, he’s of Indian heritage so could easily be a Hindu or other religion

I think we are going by the notion that you can tell.

I wouldn't expect a Muslim man that openly wore religious not cultural dress to be with a non practicing Muslim be they white or otherwise. As for 'muslim' men that don't practice I wouldn't be surprised. Or if you are asking if I would be surprised at an asian man with a white woman then no I wouldn't.I've seen relationships where it works but both are non practicing. In relationships where one rediscovers their faith, there has been from what I've been told or witnessed problems. The issues have occurred because commonly the muslim partner has effectively changed the goalposts and often when kids come along.

How do you know they are Muslim?

I used to be in a walking group with a couple of couples dressed identically, sweaters, anoraks, cords, boots/socks, everything even pull on woollen hats.
These couples were a type, like a couple of bookends, indivisable almost.

Same sex I cannot always decipher, especiallyin Oxford, High Street replete
with androgynous boot wearers, striding in tandem, male couples are usually,
unmissable.

I’m curious about the tall man, tiny woman phenomenon too, which always looks visually unbalanced, whether contortions are necessary in succesful coitus for example, the reverse most unusual, the only one I can conjure is Sophie Dahl with
Jamie Cullum (Sophie refers to him as ‘the one’).

Because they are my friends or work colleagues. I meant people I know.

I don't think I would think anything, if indeed I could tell just by sight. You can't tell the background even if you can tell. You know nothing about how people have been brought up or what's brought them together.

Perhaps your question should be why the "vitriol"? Sadly there have been countless threads on mn of such marriages where the women have been tricked, coerced, had their children taken all sorts. It shouldn't in anyway be seen

It’s haram, if he’s not Muslim. The man if he’s white British would have to convert

Hit post too soon!

It shouldn't be seen as representative, but given Islam appears to have the strictest rules about marriage, upbringing and so on, I think posters advise due diligence when other posters ask for opinions.
Vitriolic responses are uncalled of though.

Because a lot of people on MN have some pretty serious misconceptions and prejudice about Muslims and think they can speak on behalf of Muslims that’s why the vitriol

as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest.

I really don't think anything.

He converted

I think this is quite complex.

I would be surprised to see a Muslim man, who wears religious signifiers, to be with a woman who is wearing clothes that suggests she isn’t Muslim.

But that is because I grew in an area with a large ish Muslim community and it didn’t happen. I know several non Muslim women who dated muslim men and where the men were particularly religious it was kept fairly quiet. So I would be surprised. But the surprise would come then go and that would be it.

I am mixed race and grew up in a very multicultural area. However, when it comes to friends I have been concerned for friends (of any race) in the ‘secret’ relationships. Because on more than one occasion those friends have found themselves to be the OW, when their partner has got married and not told them. Or found themselves ghosted when the man got married. Once when there was a child involved. But let’s be honest, it’s not just Muslim men that can treat women poorly. I am mentioning these situations because that’s the discussion here.

Also, in that situation I would have far more intimate knowledge of the situation. So I wouldn’t judge a couple on the street by it. Because I don’t know the detail and it’s obviously not secret if they are publicly out and about together.

honestly… I’d think “good luck with that” (directed at the woman)

as @Fairyliz points out the religion basically dictates you are a second class citizen.
one of my DBs converted for his wife he lives in a Muslim country and he really really dislikes how it women are treated.

But that all depends on how religious someone is. One of my closest friends refers to herself as culturally Muslim. She is engaged and lives with a man who isn’t Muslim and has no intention to convert.

in the 10 years I have known she has never dated a Muslim man who is very religious.

I work with a white guy who has a Muslim girlfriend and wedding is on the cards in the future, he won't convert so it dies happen

Op I think you are coming across quite narrow minded