Would you fight for your man?

[IAmThe1AndOnly]

Conversation with DP about people who become attracted to someone else during the relationship.
He said that if he ever became attracted to someone else surely I would fight for him? I laughed and said that if that happened she would be welcome to him.
He seemed surprised, god knows why given he knows I have never been the type to feel I need a man.

So would you?

Fuck no.

What does "fight for him" mean?

Does he think you're going to have a scrap on the driveway and winner takes the man?

Does he think you're going to "up your game" to compete with the other woman and tempt him back?

Does he think you're going to get on your knees and beg him?

By the way I wouldn't do any of these. But it would be really interesting to hear what "fight for him" means to your DH.

I had this discussion with my mum many years ago, when my marriage was still good. She told me that if her husband ever cheated, she would 'try to win him back'. I told her that if mine ever cheated, I'd serve him his bollocks on a silver platter and then divorce him. <disclaimer: it wasn't cheating that was the problem later>.

My DH wouldn't come out with such a dumb hypothetical question thank goodness.

whats with people? There's the other thread running about the mother who wouldn't die for the OP (her daughter) sigh.

people really need to occupy their minds with something less dysfunctional, or do some work on their low self esteem, it's ridiculous.

Nope and I would be packing his bag and things so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.
How can you fight for someone if they are no longer attracted to you and find someone else more appealing.
I would certainly never want to do the pick me dance sod that off you go.

I had 3 relationships where men cheated on me when I was younger, 3 in a row. Each time I did the pick me dance and frankly felt like rubbish because not only have they already cheated, but you now have lowered yourself to the point you'd still take them back regardless. I'll never do that again.

I think for me it would depend which lines had been crossed. Just looking in public, fine. Emotional affair - please leave. Physical affair, please leave. Trying it on with my friend - leave before they make you!

I'm happy without a man until a decent one turns up. Been 3 years so far and I'm not settling for anyone who doesn't want to be here.

Absolutely not.

🚩🚩🚩

Nope if he became attracted to another woman... that's it for me... he could go!

I appreciate that men and woman look and can appreciate good looking or attractive people (to them)

But to take action on that attraction is a no no

It conjures up images of Chantelle n Chardonnay fighting over Kyle in a pub carpark.

Nope I wouldn't fight for him

I've only read the op posts but I could have written this about my life!

You don't need him so what are you willing to compromise / stand / put up with / accept?

Will he recognise he's being a dick?

Can you be arsed reminding him of that? That you might want him currently you certainly do not need him? It's actually him that needs to have a word with himself?

I'd have one conversation centring around that and seeing how that went then deciding what I was doing.

I think this attributed to Johnny Depp - 'If you fall for a second person, go with the second person as if you still loved the first person, you wouldn't be looking at a second person.' So, I'm with OP, let them move on.

No l wouldn’t, l would also hope that if he was attracted to someone else he would tell me before he acted on it.

Good Lord, there are so many cases where that's been wrong!

No. I’d be heartbroken but I’d recover. We have an amazing relationship and have been together 20years. He absolutely knows my boundaries and if he chose to cross those he is well aware I’d be gone. I love him, I want him, I do not need him.

Also not sure how Johnny Depp could be considered any sort of authority on healthy, long-lasting relationships 😂

Yes, this worked out so well for him didnt it?

😂

Oh definitely not.

No, and I didn’t, when he broke up with me. We got back together 2.5 years later and he actually complained that I hadn’t fought for him. I just wanted to keep my dignity thanks 😂

When we got back together he was the one who was insecure and anxious about whether or not I still wanted him (the break up devastated me). He had moments where he actually broke down in tears for fear I would leave him.

I'd only fight for my husband if he was being dragged into deeper water by a shark.

Why waste time pleading for a man to get back with you when he’s out someone else first.

Why would he ever think that an unfaithful man could be a prize worth winning?

Surely that's what the loser gets?

Nah. My ex too, was offended when I told him I wouldn’t. I told him that whilst I was able to remain ‘upright’ in the presence of other dicks, I wasn’t accepting mitigating factors, so the rest was up to him 🤷🏽‍♀️. Poor thing felt undervalued 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Thing is, he also couldn’t imagine himself ‘sharing me’. Well even better as I had more men chasing me than women were chasing him, so if I could remain faithful, so could you love 🙄.

Nope absolutely not! Me and my husband have had this chat before and it works both ways lol if you don't want me, I don't want you