Was I out of order

[YouwouldthinkIhavemoresense]

Yesterday I was at a football match and at a stadium. It was heaving and I have never been to a stadium, or indeed a football match, before.
Had my children with me. One of each sex. Just me to add. No other adults.

Anyway, took my youngest to the female toilet with me just before half time. Two men ( or at least I thought they were) - entered as well. Both very masculine looking and dressed very sporty with very short/ shaved haircuts.

So me being me, said quite nonchalantly to one of them “ this is the ladies “… just that.

One of them responded with “ we ARE female “
I apologised for my mistake and thought that was it.

Well, with that, there was then a tirade of passive aggressive behaviour/ comments from both of them: it was all very unpleasant. They even spoke to each other loudly about me whilst in the cubicles.

I then bumped into them whilst washing my hands and they continued to goad me- staring at me, laughing, telling each other to “ calm down” and “ that I wasn’t worth it” , commenting on my face/ appearance.
It was horrid. And all this time I had my child with me.

AIBU in feeling uncomfortable or was my initial reaction really that provoking?

Preparing to be flamed 😬

Couldn't you tell their sex from their voices or body shape? Hair or clothing is irrelevant. Depends entirely on if they were actually men or women.

What are you talking about? They weren't trans women OP says herself she got it wrong and they were women (without Adam's apples).

It's not difficult to tell a man from a butch woman (irl not a photo).

They weren't dressed like men. They were wearing sporty clothes. Presumably since they were at a football match they were probably wearing a strip. I wear DHs strips when we go to the match but I'm not dressing like a man, just showing support for my team.

So it's ok to insult someone if you didn't mean it unkindly?

And you still can't see you were in the wrong?

How they choose to present themselves is up to them. Not you.

Yep - apologies ' rtff and updated my post 😅

OP was a stranger to the women. They had an androgynous look and she mistook them for men. It’s good to challenge men in women’s spaces. OP did so politely, and when made aware of her error, apologised immediately. That should have been the end of it.

To go about with an androgynous appearance - as I do myself - and take offence when mistaken for the opposite sex, is just daft.

You have to know that is not great, but very different? Women in the men's toilets are very unlikely to pose a risk to men's safety (privacy and dignity, possibly).

With multiple men demanding to use women's toilets under the guise of being 'transwomen' it's understandable that having made this mistake, OP was concerned.

They were rude. I've been mistaken for being male a few times. It is annoying but I'd have accepted your apology. Maybe made a joke about your comment with my friend but not been nasty, whether you were with children or not. I'm not presenting as a man though, and never have. Just don't like 'girly' clothes or shoes...

Were they dressed as men though?

Or just in football kit?

OP is thar what you meant by dressed very sporty?? I dress very sporty a lot. Joggers and a t-shirt with a hoodie. Is that me dressing "as a man?"

I genuinely did think initially they were two blokes. One hundred percent.

very strange thread .....

Did you not think hang on why would two blokes walk into the ladies maybe they are ladies?

Two women together passing as men has got to be very unusual. No butch woman I've known or met irl has actually looked like a man.

Not at all. Completely and utterly looked like men: the dress ( not football kits ) the haircuts ( like my teenage sons friends have- very different odd as in one side shorter than the other but barely any hair ) the ‘ swagger - as in , hands in pockets doing a casual “ stroll” into the toilets, their general appearance and, my goodness, they were so like men it was unreal.

I absolutely thought they were men entering ladies toilets. I didn’t like that so I said something. I apologised immediately when I was wrong.

Thank you for this, but really, what a pointless comment.

They were aggressive. Absolutely.

Was it your son or your daughter you took to the loo?

But not dressed as men?

To be honest- it was weird sign posting for the male and female toilets so I initially thought they’d entered the wrong one.

Daughter

How were they aggressive? By walking into the toilets?

Or do you mean after you called them men and they were (rightly) offended and called you out on it?