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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I out of order

227 replies

YouwouldthinkIhavemoresense · 28/04/2024 14:08

Yesterday I was at a football match and at a stadium. It was heaving and I have never been to a stadium, or indeed a football match, before.
Had my children with me. One of each sex. Just me to add. No other adults.

Anyway, took my youngest to the female toilet with me just before half time. Two men ( or at least I thought they were) - entered as well. Both very masculine looking and dressed very sporty with very short/ shaved haircuts.

So me being me, said quite nonchalantly to one of them “ this is the ladies “… just that.

One of them responded with “ we ARE female “
I apologised for my mistake and thought that was it.

Well, with that, there was then a tirade of passive aggressive behaviour/ comments from both of them: it was all very unpleasant. They even spoke to each other loudly about me whilst in the cubicles.

I then bumped into them whilst washing my hands and they continued to goad me- staring at me, laughing, telling each other to “ calm down” and “ that I wasn’t worth it” , commenting on my face/ appearance.
It was horrid. And all this time I had my child with me.

AIBU in feeling uncomfortable or was my initial reaction really that provoking?

Preparing to be flamed 😬

OP posts:
BananasForBrains · 05/05/2024 08:46

Think you are getting some harsh comments here OP. I’m a woman, don’t try to look masculine and don’t even think I do, but I do have short hair, pixieish features and don’t wear makeup often. I have been mistaken for a guy several times before when people aren’t looking directly at me (eg someone said to his daughter to bring their items to the nice man on the check out). It didn’t bother me at all and he apologised so whatever! I just laughed. The funniest part is that I’ve got massive knockers. Can’t comment on how it makes other people feel (and it’s never happened to me in public facilities) but personally I think they massively overreacted. The fact you had your daughter there makes it extremely horrible.

Lampy123678 · 05/05/2024 10:15

RedStripeypillow · 05/05/2024 06:53

What absolute morons, dress like a man you'll get mistaken for a man. What did they expect? Some people are so utterly vile, they will be vile given any excuse. I used to think we were quite respectful to each other but people seem to be getting more and more hateful. She made a genuine mistake for very obvious reasons. The women were being obnoxious and the pps coming out in support of that are also showing a monumental lack of awareness.

How many times do people need to point out that they were not "dressed as men". The people who sound vile on here are the ones with the small minded concept of what a woman can and cannot dress like.
These women were posing absolutely no threat to the OP, they were literally walking into a loo and they have every right to expect to be allowed to go about their business without OP taking it upon herself to be the toilet police without even taking a second glance to check her facts. Hopefully she's learnt her lesson.

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