Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go next door if baby is in bed?

294 replies

Bloodyfreezinng · 27/04/2024 18:55

Next door neighbour has invited me a round for a glass of wine. DS will be in bed next door I have camera on his room so I can see him.

Would you go or not? Or does it feel to much like a Madeline McCann situation.

DS is 2

OP posts:
Londonscallingme · 27/04/2024 19:16

MidnightPatrol · 27/04/2024 19:09

IMO you need to be rational about risk.

If I can see my baby on the monitor in my perfectly secure house, which has numerous fire alarms, where I know there aren’t any clear fire hazards, they are fast asleep in their bed…

… sitting in my neighbours house a couple of metres away (in the same building) doesn’t seem like a big risk.

I appreciate others might not want to do that, but I don’t really see it as being dangerous. I think she’s suggest going round for a couple of drinks, not on a bender.

I wouldn’t consider myself to be much of a risk taker either tbh.

Show quote history

Congratulations for being the one person who seems to have actually thought about this before commenting with a knee jerk response 😂

sparklealways · 27/04/2024 19:16

whistleblower99 · 27/04/2024 19:01

You won’t hear them choke on a camera. You won’t see a fire until it is too late for damage from smoke inhalation. Any parent suggesting they would needs to have a hard look at their crap parenting.

THIS.

Londonscallingme · 27/04/2024 19:18

Ok so say my house is the same size as these two terraces put together… am I allowed to sit at the other end of the property with the monitor on? Or would that be unthinkable? Say my property has 3 entrance points, for arguement a sake, let’s assume they are all locked.

ScottishScouser · 27/04/2024 19:18

One of the reasons I never had kids. My mother is aghast at what is classed as not done these days. I’m on her side of child rearing!

rwalker · 27/04/2024 19:19

Have you got a camera or FaceTime you can leave running

plenty of people put there kids to bed and wouldn’t give it a 2nd thought to sit in the garden

KarmenPQZ · 27/04/2024 19:19

Usernamerequired123 · 27/04/2024 19:02

Not a chance. I've always called my friends home. Why would you even ask that?

Also, can your son get off safely off the bed ? What if he rolls over in his sleep? I think you need to be in the same house.

‘What if he rolls over in his sleep?’

I don’t even know how to form an answer to this question 😂

fieldsofbutterflies · 27/04/2024 19:19

I appreciate others might not want to do that, but I don’t really see it as being dangerous. I think she’s suggest going round for a couple of drinks, not on a bender.

If, heaven forbid, something did happen, you would probably find yourself prosecuted for child endangerment and neglect.

Allfur · 27/04/2024 19:19

sparklealways · 27/04/2024 19:16

THIS.

Show quote history

Isn't being in the sitting room down stairs pretty much the same as being in the sitting room next door?

Londonscallingme · 27/04/2024 19:19

sparklealways · 27/04/2024 19:16

THIS.

Show quote history

So actually you are saying the monitor is not ok, rather than being in the next house? We need to always be in the same room as our children, by this rational?

ReDoTheProphecy · 27/04/2024 19:21

There are a lot of things that could potentially go wrong - locks breaking, fire etc, things that are unlikely and that people don't think about and sure you can argue that you're no further away than when you sit in your own garden. But I guess I would think - how would I feel explaining this to the hospital/police/social services on the small chance that this is the night when something does go unexpectedly wrong? If you say you were drinking wine at a neighbour's house and left your baby home alone, it would sound pretty indefensible. Far worse than 'I was taking out the bin, or sitting in my garden' even if people can argue that it's not hugely different. How would you feel, how would you be judged? I think it's a situation where the risk might be low but the stakes are too high.

ChickpeaPie · 27/04/2024 19:21

I would definitely do it for a million pounds

Poppalina37 · 27/04/2024 19:21

We recently had an electrical fire... I've lived away from home for 25 years and I've been fortunate not to know anyone that's had a fire but it recently happened to us.... the alarms went off but the amount of smoke was shocking.... fortunately that day our 4 month old baby was sleeping in her pram.... had she been older her nap would have been in the room next door in the nursery.

The thing is with decisions.... I guess you have to be extreme... because sometimes we are incredibly unlucky.

Our fire was from a tv that was attached to the wall... it was my sons Christmas present x

Moonshine5 · 27/04/2024 19:22

Is this a joke

Londonscallingme · 27/04/2024 19:22

KarmenPQZ · 27/04/2024 19:19

‘What if he rolls over in his sleep?’

I don’t even know how to form an answer to this question 😂

Show quote history

Maybe we need to sit poised by our children all through the night, lest they roll in their sleep? 😱

fieldsofbutterflies · 27/04/2024 19:24

Allfur · 27/04/2024 19:19

Isn't being in the sitting room down stairs pretty much the same as being in the sitting room next door?

Show quote history

Logically yes, but legally no.

If something happened, how would you feel defending your decision to the courts or the press?

2proseccosplease · 27/04/2024 19:24

I would consider it depending on the house set up (terrace or semi-detached small houses maybe, detached larger house definitely not) but more likely just invite neighbour to yours.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/04/2024 19:25

No.

May09Bump · 27/04/2024 19:25

No - my neighbour also thought it would be ok and asked the same.

Ineedaholidayyyy · 27/04/2024 19:26

No I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this.

SquigglePigs · 27/04/2024 19:26

If I lived in a terraced house I might. It's no lt really any worse than being the other side of a big house or outside. Ideally they'd come to you though.

If I was in a detached house then no, I wouldn't. Too far separated and likely the monitor wouldn't work reliably anyway.

bluetopazlove · 27/04/2024 19:28

No never I was an army wife thirty years ago so husband spent a lot of time away and no family around . You need to suck it up and socialise during daylight hours .

ShelfShark · 27/04/2024 19:28

Oh course not. I can’t believe you’re asking. What if there was a fire? What if someone broke in?

You also risk being reported to the police/social services.

cigarettesNalcohol · 27/04/2024 19:29

No.

Obviously probably won't happened (but can happen), but what if a fire broke out at your house and you can't get back in to rescue your child ? Don't risk it!

napody · 27/04/2024 19:32

Msmumm · 27/04/2024 19:08

Good god no!! I cannot believe there are people who WOULD leave them alone in a house.
You can't see smoke and fumes from a fire on a monitor!

But you have working smoke and heat alarms, don't you? Which you'd hear.

Anyone who is piling on to judge OP, check those things first. Fire and smoke inhalation could all happen while you're asleep in the same house...

OP, I don't think it's an unreasonable question. You're next door looking at a monitor. You can bet many mumsnetters live in houses double the size of a terraced new build! Do they avoid going to the other side of the house when baby is asleep?!

Cheesewiz · 27/04/2024 19:33

No, Slightly concerned that you are considering doing this!